Chapter 11
Nevaeh
I t was late by the time Barrick pulled Aunt Emmie’s SUV into my parents’ driveway. Braxton opened the door and stepped out before reaching in to help me down. As soon as my feet were on the ground, I wrapped my arms around his waist and breathed in deeply.
Combing his fingers through my hair, he tilted my head back and kissed the tip of my nose. “I’ll meet you at the airport.”
“Okay,” I whispered, already missing him. PopPop’s jet had an early takeoff time scheduled, so it was only going to be a few hours until I saw him again, but I didn’t want to leave him.
With another kiss, he walked me up to the porch and waited until I unlocked the door before turning to go. Swallowing hard, I slowly walked through the house to the kitchen to get a bottle of water before going to bed.
Pushing open the door, I stopped when I saw Daddy sitting at the kitchen table. I stopped mid-step and sucked in a deep breath. His long, dark hair was sprinkled with strands of gray, his blue-gray eyes full of worry.
Giving me a grim smile, he lifted his mug of tea. “Want some? It’s ginger to help with my nausea.”
I tried to smile back, but from the way his lips pressed together, I didn’t think I pulled it off. “Sure,” I choked out.
Standing, he walked to the stove where the teakettle was resting. Placing a tea bag in a mug, he added the hot water and grabbed the honey and a spoon on his way back to the table where I’d sat down.
Placing everything in front of me, he retook his seat. I added the honey, keeping my gaze on my mug so I didn’t have to look at him, knowing if I did, I would start crying all over again.
“It’s okay to be scared, Nevaeh. It’s even okay to be angry.”
I lifted startled eyes and finally looked at him. “Who would I be angry at?”
“Me,” he said with a shrug. “I did this. It’s my fault I’m sick right now. You’re allowed to be pissed at me for doing this to you and your mom.”
Reaching out, I wrapped my fingers around his hand, shivering when I felt how cold it was. “Daddy, I’m not mad. Not at you, never you. I know you had a drinking problem before you met Mom. You never talk about why you became an alcoholic, and I won’t make you tell me, but I realize it must have been bad.”
His jaw clenched, and I saw his Adam’s apple bob several times before he nodded. “Yeah, sweetheart. It was bad. I won’t put those nightmares in your head, but the booze kept me numb. I liked that feeling a hell of a lot. Until the drinking cost me your mom. She’s why I stopped, why I haven’t picked up a bottle in over twenty years.” He closed his eyes and lowered his head. “And now, the consequences of all that heavy drinking could take everything away.”
“Daddy—”
His eyes snapped open, and when I saw the tears in his eyes, my own burned and filled. “It’s okay to be scared and angry, because I’m terrified and so fucking pissed at myself, I can’t breathe at times. I’m sorry, honey. So damn sorry that I might be taken away from you and your mother. I love you. More than anything, I love you.”
“I-I love you too, Daddy,” I told him around the lump that was choking me. “And you’re right, I am scared. Nothing has ever scared me as much as the thought of losing you.”
“I’m going to do everything I can not to let that happen, Nev.” Tugging on my hand, he pulled me up and onto his lap. Like this, I felt like I was a little girl again, but having Daddy hold me and press a kiss to my temple was the best feeling in the world. My tears spilled over my lashes, and he wiped them away. “Leaving you and our family behind is the last thing I want to do. But…” I fought back a sob, already knowing what he was going to say. “But we have to face reality, sweetheart. This operation might not work. I could reject the liver, or it could fail, or any number of things could go wrong.”
“I know,” I whispered.
“If any of those things happens and I’m no longer here, I need you to know how much I love you and your brother and sisters. How proud you’ve made me.” Tears were pouring out of his eyes now, but he gave me a brave smile. “Nothing has made me happier than getting to be your dad. You and your mom have given me an amazing life. The things that came before you and her…they no longer matter. I’ve had perfection with my family, and I’ll never take any of those years for granted.”
“Daddy, you’re talking like you expect to die.” I threw my arms around him, my shoulders shaking as I fought not to break down completely. I needed to be strong—for him, if no other reason. “You can’t die, Daddy. You can’t! Please, please don’t leave me.”
“I can’t promise that, Nev. I wish I could, but I won’t lie to you.” He wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me gently. “All I can promise is that you will be okay. None of you will ever have to worry about anything. Ever.”
“I don’t care about that!” I couldn’t hold on a second longer. The sobs left me, making my entire body quake and ache from the force of them. “Money means nothing. Having material things is useless to me. None of it matters if you’re not here.”
“I know, sweetheart.” He rocked me in his arms, kissing the top of my head. “It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.”
I could only hope he was right.
--
My eyes still felt swollen when I got on the plane the next morning. I’d cried all night until my throat was aching and my voice was hoarse.
I didn’t want to go back to Virginia, wanting to stay so I could have as much time with Daddy as possible before his surgery, which had been scheduled for the week before Christmas, but he wouldn’t let me. The semester was almost over, with only finals to deal with before I came back for the holiday break, and he refused to let me put my education on hold.
Sunglasses perched on my nose instead of my normal prescription glasses, I didn’t look at anyone as I dropped down into one of the seats and fastened the belt. The flight attendant asked me if I wanted anything to drink, but I just turned my gaze out the window, unable to answer her without crying again.
Braxton’s warm hand covered mine, and I sucked in a shuddery breath, fighting the tears that wanted to be released. “What can I do?” he asked quietly, his thumb stroking over my knuckles.
My chin trembled, but I kept my eyes trained on the window without seeing anything outside. “Just hold me,” I whispered brokenly.
“Always, Kitten,” he said reverently as he unfastened my belt and pulled me onto his lap. I laid my head on his chest and let the tears leak from my eyes the entire flight back to Virginia.
Chapter 12
Braxton
W ith Nevaeh’s head pressed against my chest, I carried her into her room and laid her on her bed. The whole flight home, she’d done nothing but cry silently, then on the drive from the airport, she’d fallen asleep against me.
Pulling back the covers, I took off her shoes then tucked the thick comforter around her, taking off her glasses and putting them on the nightstand. She sighed softly and folded her hands under her cheek as she turned onto her side. As I looked down at her, my heart clenched painfully, seeing the tear tracks on her beautiful face that was pale from exhaustion and grief.
Bending, I brushed my lips over her cheek and would have left her to rest, but when I straightened, she caught my fingers with her hand. Surprised, I looked down to find her wide awake, her swollen eyes blinking up at me. For the longest time, we just gazed at each other, and then she gave a weak tug on my fingers.
“Don’t go,” she pleaded in a voice that sounded painfully hoarse from all the crying she’d done.
“Are you sure?” I asked, even though my first instinct was to give her exactly what she wanted and crawl into bed beside her. “You need to rest, Kitten.”
“I need you to hold me,” she said weakly, her chin trembling. “P-please?”
“Ah, baby, you don’t have to beg. I’ll give you anything you want, no matter what it is.” Kicking off my shoes, I carefully climbed in beside her, positioning us so I was lying on the side with my good leg.
As soon as I was beside her, she wrapped herself around me. It was so natural, it was like she’d been doing it forever. She fit so perfectly against me it was as if we’d both been created to fit each other.
With her head on my shoulder and her arms around my waist, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head.
“What about Sasha?” she whispered after a few minutes passed.
“She’s staying with Lyla and Howler. She will be okay for another night. We can pick her up in the morning.” Brushing her hair back from her face, I rubbed my thumb over her cheek. “You should sleep, baby. You need to rest.”
“I can’t,” she murmured. “All I can think about is Daddy. I wish I were back there with him right now, Brax. What… What if something happens to him and I’m here?”
The thought of her back in California without me made my heart pound. I didn’t want to be away from her. But I knew she needed to be closer with how sick her dad was. “Don’t think about the negative,” I told her, trying to hide the fact that I was already clawing at the walls of my sanity just thinking of her being so far away without me. “Mia’s mom said he has the best doctors, and we’ll be back in a few weeks for Christmas and winter break. Once he has his surgery, he will be good as new.”