I pull away suddenly and find the two teenagers from earlier moving down the path away from us. I smile.
“You've got to stop doing that or … ”
“Or you'll fuck me again?” I glance up sharply at his face, at the laugh lines near his eyes, his red hair. “Then I guess I better keep going.” Beck pulls me closer again and leans his face down, breathing hot breath across my cheeks.
“This is getting risky, Beck. We haven't used a condom even once.” He pauses.
“I'm clean. Don't tell me a girl as tight as you isn't?” He tries to make it a joke, but it isn't, not really. I let him touch my neck with his fingers, back me up against a tree. Crap, Tease! Not again.
“I'm sore, Beck,” I groan as he kisses my neck and lifts my left thigh up with one hand, spreading me open against him. Even through our jeans, I can feel the bulge in his pants. “I could get pregnant.” This gives him a moment of pause at least.
“You're not on birth control?” he asks, sounding like maybe this is the first time he's thought to wonder about this. I touch my hands to his chest, press my palms against his solidness, his strength. I love that about him, love the idea that he could protect me no matter what, fight for me. If he wanted to, that is. But I like the fantasy of it regardless. “Well, sugar, you should've said something.” He reaches down with his right hand and unzips his pants, exposing his cock right there in the middle of the trail. If those teenagers come back, they're going to get an eyeful. “But I still don't regret it. If anything happens, you just tell me what you want me to do. Whether you're here or back at your clubhouse, you call me.” I don't tell him that Darren would never allow that. If I did get pregnant, the baby would be raised in the club, just like I was. Beck would never know.
“What if I can't?” I ask him as he pushes my pants down my hips and uses his boot to drag them to the forest floor. It's an effective way of getting the jeans off quick. Beck releases my thigh and sets my foot on the ground, bending down and pulling off my borrowed heels, chucking them to the side before he stands up and puts his hands on either side of my face. I stand there, my bottom half buck naked, pressed against the rough bark of the tree. Surreptitiously, I use my right foot to pull my left leg completely out of the jeans.
“Then stay,” Beck says, sending chills down my spine. “If you're worried, stay. I mean, it's a long shot, but if you like Triple M then give it a chance.” He touches his hand to my cheek and leans in, kissing the side of my mouth.
“Are you saying that in case I am pregnant?” I ask. I feel like I need clarification. Right now. It's stupid, but I want to hear him say he likes me, that he wants me to stay. Maybe it's because I'm eighteen and inexperienced or maybe it's just because I have that desperate need to belong. “I doubt I am, but … I don't want you to feel obligated on the off chance that it happens.” Beck presses something into my hand – a condom. I squeeze it tight and then end up opening my fingers and letting it fall to the forest floor. “Because the club would take care of me. Nobody else has to.”
“Nobody else has to, but if someone wanted to?” I reach down and grab Beck's cock as his hand lifts my thigh again, guiding him to my opening with a sigh of relief. Even though I'm sore, I want it. I need it.
“Who?” I ask, but Beck doesn't answer, thrusting into me with a grunt, grinding my bare ass against the tree. My question hangs in the air, just half a phrase, an idea. Who would want to? I do. That's the real answer. I want to take care of myself. I just need to figure out the best way to do that. Traitor.
“I won't lie to you, Tease. The risk turns me on.” Beck growls into my ear, pushing inside of me again and again, letting his grunts ring out alongside my moans. If anyone else had the bright idea to take a walk today, I'm sure we've just ruined their afternoon. Beck doesn't bother to kiss me this time, so I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face against his chest, letting him fuck me as hard and fast as he wants to. I nip at his skin, sliding my teeth across his flesh as my mind roils and I wonder what the fuck I'm doing here. Why I'm waiting until Monday to see my brother. I'm not a captive anymore, not really. I could've asked to go back sooner. And Beck would've let me. So why. Why. Why. Why am I staying, and why does he want me to stay?
“Me, too,” I whisper back, raising my chin and looking straight into his eyes, getting lost in green as my face flushes and my nipples harden. I don't want to get pregnant, and I'm pretty doubtful that I will, but it really makes me think about my life and how I want to live it. When I imagine raising a baby in the club, I feel sick. “Me, too, Beck.”