The last thought made me groan again as a new tidal wave of tingling embarrassment rushed from my stomach to the tips of my fingers.
I glanced around the small bathroom and wondered how much longer I could remain without raising suspicions as to the state of my physical or mental health. It was the second time in two months I’d considered taking up residence in a bathroom stall. I glanced at my watch; we were scheduled to depart in less than ten minutes. I needed to pull myself together.
I closed my eyes and I went through the normal coping exercises of folding up my reckless feelings but they all seemed to take the shape of black and red lacy lingerie. Frustrated, I bit my bottom lip, hard, and resolved to wash my hands, hoping if I could focus on something as simple as washing and drying my hands I might make it through the next four hours on Quinn Sullivan’s private jet.
I took one more significant breath then exited the safe confines of the toilet stall, smoothing my hands over my thighs. I approached the front of the plane, walking with measured steps, trying to look unconcerned and like a normal, capable, confident human being instead of the awkwardly big headed Neanderthal that I was.
I nearly ran back to the bathroom when I saw that Carlos had taken the seat I previously occupied, next to Steven, and Quinn was seated opposite Carlos; this left one vacancy in the four-seat cluster, the one next to Quinn. I swallowed with effort and hesitated. The men hadn’t yet noticed me. My eyes moved over the cabin and fell on the back of Olivia’s head; she was by herself in the adjacent cluster. The seat across from her might as well have been labeled ‘Janie’s best option.’
Making up my mind I closed the distance and moved to take my best option but Steven- damn Steven!- foiled my plan.
“Janie, no- sit here-” he motioned to the seat next to Quinn, “Olivia will take notes. Mr. Sullivan needs you to review the latest invoices. I was also just telling him about your thoughts on managing Guard Security’s expenditures using the billable tracking software.”
“Oh. Ok.” I looked from Steven’s smile to Olivia’s frown which, if possible, seemed to deepen as I slipped into the seat next to Quinn. I didn’t, however, look at Quinn. I didn’t look at him even as I explained the purpose of the software, how I’d come across the open source project when I was in graduate school, how I’d used it as an effective way to track time spent on tasks and assign effort to each task.
The plane taxied and took off. Steven’s encouraging grin, Carlos’s warm brown eyes, and even Olivia’s somewhat hostile stare settled my nerves. When I finished explaining how the system could be tailored to improve the efficiency and profitability of billings and collections over the current time-only based system I was almost calm.
“Based on historical data, I ran an analysis which, even though highly hypothetical, demonstrates that we could increase revenues even in the short term. Carlos, will you please hand me my iPad? I think it’s under your seat.” I shifted and pointed to my bag.
“Sure thing.” Carlos leaned forward to extract my case.
“It’s an interesting idea.” Quinn’s voice sounded thoughtful and I sensed him shift next to me, leaning closer as I opened the iPad to the bulleted list I prepared on the impact of implementing the software.
“We won’t be able to use the open source product but we could have our team develop something similar in house.” Carlos commented.
“It’s actually a really great product.” I scrolled down to a description of the system, “I checked last week and they just pushed a new release.”
Quinn’s voice was very close to my ear as he spoke and I could feel the air around me change as he leaned over my shoulder. “That’s not the point. I’m sure it’s a great product but we can’t use open source.”
“We also couldn’t apply it to the Infinite Systems group.” Steven sounded matter-of-fact as he chimed in and shrugged his shoulders, “But, for our corporate partners, it would answer a lot of their questions on the billing structure.”
I frowned, looking from Carlos to Steven; “What am I missing here? Why can’t we use open source?”
Quinn placed his hand over mine and pulled the iPad between us, forcing me to turn toward him. He wasn’t looking at me but rather at the screen of the tablet as he responded in a mumble, “Data security issues.”
My voice was slightly unsteady as I tried to focus on something other than the feeling of his hand covering mine and holding me in place, “Well, well why can’t we use it for the Infinite Systems group?”