“You could have called my cell.”
“Your which?”
“My cell phone?”
“What’s a—?” Alex blinked. Then he remembered. Oh God, he thought. How can I be remembering what a cell phone is? It’s right in my jacket pocket. He looked over to the countertop and the newspaper want ads. Why didn’t I just go online to look for jobs?
Lorelei caught it, too. Her expression changed. Alex saw her concern. “What’s wrong with me?” he asked.
Her hand came to his cheek again. “I have my suspicions. Put it aside, love,” she said, allaying his rush of concern with a measure of supernatural suggestion. “Focus on the matter at hand for now.”
Alex shook his head. “She said she went looking for me at my old address, Lorelei. Mom’s in New York right now, but what if Diana finds her new place?”
“Do not worry about others,” Lorelei said with a shake of her head. “She is fixated on you. Proxies would only be in danger once she has you in her control. The werewolves are quite dangerous. Only a fool would face one alone. Flight was the wisest course of action.” She tilted her head thoughtfully. “Is she attractive?”
“She’s pretty, yeah,“ he shrugged.
“Alex, as encouraging as I am of whatever trysts you might wish, this one—”
“Hey, no. She’s pretty, but I’m not attracted to her. I do not want to go there. The whole thing freaked me out.”
“Ah. I felt whatever moment of sensuality and pleasure you had earlier. It did not seem familiar to me. I thought it might be her.”
“No,” Alex sighed. “That was Olivia trying to play sexual harassment training video with me. I didn’t play along, so she fired me on the spot. She fired Stephanie while I was at lunch, too, because Susan didn’t like us flirting. Someone else who couldn’t keep her hands off me,” he added sourly.
His words elicited only the tiniest flinch. He saw it in her eyes and in the tension in her jaw. Beyond that, everything about her remained placid. Were they not so close, he doubted he would’ve noticed. “You blame me for this,” she said.
“No,” he shook his head. “No, I don’t.”
“You believe you are more attractive to other women because of me, and that is in fact somewhat true. You still don’t accept how little of that is due to mystical influence rather than natural confidence and experience. You worry that women are under some sinister spell, when they are free to—”
“Lorelei, stop,” he interrupted. Then he took a breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. I don’t blame you for Olivia.”
“And the others?” she asked. “I know your desires, Alex. I know how you feel about all of these women, and others. You know your freedom, and yet you do not follow your urges. Is that not because you fear there is some clouding of consent?”
“No. I mean I did, but I kind of understand now. It’s more that…” His voice trailed off, but he mustered his courage. He had to address this, for both their sakes. “Lorelei, do you want other men?”
Her answer was calm, quiet and straightforward: “Yes.”
He felt it hit inside. Thankfully, she continued.
“You asked a direct question, and you deserve a direct answer. Alex, no one will ever replace you. You have not failed or fallen short in any way. I could never enjoy anything that brought you harm. I will not tire of you. Quite the contrary—you and I will never have enough of one another, regardless of the sorcery and the curses that bind us.
“When I was made into a succubus, I became a creature of desire, of lust and hedonism. You and Rachel satisfy me, you excite me… but it would be a lie to claim that I would not enjoy others.”
“Is this because—“ Alex started to ask, and then stopped. “No. Not because. Is this why you wanted me to be with other women?”
“Partially,” confessed Lorelei. “I derive both pleasure and power when you give in to your desires. Our direct intimacy and that which you share with Rachel is always the most fulfilling. Your other dalliances do not bring the same ecstasy, but they are still wonderful.
“Yet I also hoped that your freedom would help you eventually understand my point of view and my urges, and the security we have together.” Her voice fell a notch. “I did not expect to have this conversation with you so soon. Not for years. But I knew it would come. I knew this double standard would trouble you long before I began to chafe.”
“Yeah, I guess I kind of knew, too. That’s why I haven’t been fooling around. It just didn’t seem right when you couldn’t.”