I heard her trampling down the stairs the next morning, heading for the door. “Alexandra, get in here.” I didn’t miss her sigh, not like she was trying to hide it. She’d disappeared into her room last night and I didn’t hear a peep out of her except for that obnoxious shit she calls music.
“You barked?” She stood in the doorway with her hip cocked like she was in a gunfight. I threw the pen down on my desk and sat back to study her. She was half naked. I knew she did that shit on purpose so I pretended not to notice that she looked as if she were looking for a corner to work.
I know she didn’t buy that shit with my mom so I could only imagine she got it online. I’ll break the fucking computer first chance I get. Fucking nuisance. I try to keep shit out that asshole machine brings it right to my fucking door.
“Where are you going?”
“It’s Saturday, I’m going to hang out with my friends.” Uh-huh, that’s what you think. “No you’re not. You have to be punished for that stunt you pulled yesterday, and if you open your mouth to say one word to me I’ll wash it out with soap. Go swim in that Olympic size pool you conned me into putting in for you.”
“When did you become such an asshole? Or did I just miss it all these years?” She whooped and took off running when I stood up from my chair. I should’ve left shit alone but no way was I going to allow her to talk like that, let alone to me. I should’ve homeschooled her ass. Where the fuck did she pick up that language? Surely not at that over priced prep-school she goes to.
“Get back down here right now.” I stood at the foot of the stairs looking up, waiting for her to show her face. I heard a door slam and then that infernal noise started up again, shaking the whole damn house.
I didn’t stop to think what I was doing, or what doors I would open other than the obvious. Instead I let my infamous anger, something I’ve shielded her from all these years, rule me. I flew up the stairs and banged on her door to no avail.
“Alexandra, open this door.” No answer, fine. I put my shoulder to the frame and pushed hard until wood splintered and I was standing inside her room.
She screamed and rushed across to the other side of the bed away from me. I don’t know why I did it; don’t know what the hell I was thinking. But it seemed like the past few weeks, months, whatever, had finally caught up with me and I’d had enough.
I stepped up on her bed instead of playing her game of cat and mouse and snatched her hand. She struggled as I pulled her across the bed and sat on the edge before pulling her down across my lap.
“No uncle Sol what’re you doing?” Now she calls me that shit when she hasn’t in weeks. I didn’t let that stop me though, or the sound of shock in her voice.
I brought my hand down hard five times before pushing her off my lap. “Don’t you ever speak to me like that again. Don’t ever let me hear you speak like that again period or you’ll get worse.”
I almost caved at the little girl hurt look on her face and the beginning of tears I saw gathered in her eyes. So as not to, I got up and left the room. Her sobs damn near broke my heart but I kept going down the stairs and ignored her.
It was hours later before I stopped hating myself enough to go check on her. I have to call someone to come fix the damn door. Or maybe I’ll let her move into the room next to mine that she’s been scheming for since she was thirteen. She claims this one is too small, plus the other one has its own bathroom.
“Baby are you in here?” I looked around the room, no sign of her. Of course, I’d told her to go swim. I headed down to the indoor pool but it didn’t look like anyone had been there. I used the intercom to call her but there was no answer.
I had a mini heart attack as I picked up the phone to call her detail. They didn’t work on Saturdays since I ran herd on her on the weekends so I wasn’t surprised when they hadn’t seen or heard from her.
“She’s not on the premises, find her.” I was looking at the grounds on the monitor so knew she wasn’t walking in the gardens, which is another one of her favorite pastimes.
I wanted to head out to search for her myself but thought it best I stay here. I was in knots pacing back and forth like a caged beast. I can’t believe she’d put me through this, two days in a row. If she’d gone back… Shit, of course.
I called her detail and told them where to look first. “I’ll kill her.” I grabbed my keys but stopped at the door just in the off chance that I was wrong and she hadn’t defied me and gone back to that place. “Where are you doll?” Did she know that this would tear me up inside? Am I being unreasonable?
With every hour that went by without a word I grew more and more tense. I would call the cops but they couldn’t do anything more than my people I was sure of it. I’d sent everyone out after her and had stopped calling an hour ago accepting that they’d let me know as soon as they found her. Still I couldn’t stand still and paced the house in what I knew to be fear but refused to give in.
I sat with my head in my hands and tried to think what was going on with her. Did she leave because I spanked her? What about yesterday and the days leading up to it? She’s been acting up a lot lately and not just with the disappearing acts, with everything.
The more I pushed her away, the more extreme she became and I don’t know how to put an end to the madness. If I send her away it would kill me. If she stays I’ll end up fucking her and I won’t stop. This I know. If I ever take her I will never let her go. Not in this lifetime.
I was half afraid of losing her and half terrified of what my love might do to her. When I’d loved her as my ward, I’d damn near smothered her. As her man it would be worse.
The phone rang, jarring me out of my reverie. “Yes?”
“We’ve got her.” I released the breath I wasn’t aware I’d been holding for the last few hours and dropped back in my seat with relief. “Bring her home.” The relief washed through me as I sat in contemplation. I couldn’t think straight. Not until I saw for myself that she was okay.
I got up to pace again until I heard the cars pulling up outside.
I was ready to rip her a new one until I saw the look of terror in her eyes. On reflex I opened my arms and she flew into them as my team walked through the door behind her. Her fear ignited my anger and they bore the brunt of it.
“What the hell happened?” She was shaking like a leaf in my arms; something she hadn’t done since she first came to me and was still suffering from the loss of her parents.
Ralph indicated that I should wait until she was out of the room, only sending my fear up a notch. “Go to your room sweetheart, I’ll be right there.” I kissed her forehead and put her away from me, watching until she climbed the stairs to the second floor. I waited for the sound of her door until I remembered that I’d broken it.
“Tell me.” I turned to them willing myself to calm down and not fly off the handle, which I have a tendency to do where she’s concerned. “Where did you find her?”
“She was in West Haven.” My eyes widened at his words as I tried to make sense of what he was saying. “What the hell was she doing there?” West Haven was the worse part of the city, known for drugs and other degenerate dealings. I couldn’t imagine that she knew anyone in that part of town.
“She said she was supposed to meet someone there, but I don’t know.”
“Who was she supposed to meet?”
“She didn’t say, just a friend.” “Which friend? Don’t I pay you to know everything that’s going on in her life?” I felt like I was losing control here; first the trip yesterday and now this.
Time was I knew every move she made. I never had to guess and there was no need to worry because she was a well-behaved obedient kid with the usual bumps in the road but nothing to stress over.
“We’re not in the classroom boss, we can’t control who she meets at school.” I glared at him until he took a step back and the others cleared their throats. I looked up the stairs towards her room as I thought of what to do next. Obviously, the spanking I gave her earlier hadn’t worked. Was she trying to force my hand? Is that it?
What the fuck does she want from me? Can’t she see I’m trying to save her? Does she have any idea of what I’d do to her if I made her mine? She thinks she’s smothered now she can’t begin to imagine what being my woman would mean for her.
Obviously, if I took her she wouldn’t be like the rest. My heart was already half hers, and she was already chafing at the constraints she suffered as my ward. What the fuck does she think will happen if I put my ring on her finger? I’d own her.
“Was she alone?” I held my breath as I waited for the answer. What if she was mixed up with some boy? The thought started a burning pain in my gut and I told myself it was because I didn’t want her getting mixed up with the wrong crowd and going down the wrong path. But in the back of my mind I wondered if she would turn to someone else if I didn’t give her what she wanted. I’d kill them both. Fuck!
“We got there just in time. She was standing on the corner I guess waiting for whomever she was supposed to meet and some unsavory types were closing in just when we got there.” I wanted to rip them apart whoever they were and wasn’t fast enough to kill the growl.