My Unfair Godmother(30)

I gaped at it. My life was not only in print, but in Sparknotes.

“That is just wrong.”

Chrissy scanned the scroll. “Saturday you cleaned, snuck out of your house, and—oh wow—total make-out session with Robin Hood in Walgreens.” She put a hand to her chest. “That’s so swoon-worthy.” 101/356

“No, it wasn’t. He was robbing the place at the time.” She let out a wistful sigh. “A highwayman-and-the-lady sort of romance. Those are some of my favorite stories.” Smiling, she rerolled the scroll. “So it’s going well then?” I blinked at her in disbelief. “No, Robin Hood is out of control. He keeps holding up stores and stealing things.” Chrissy tilted her head questioningly, as though I weren’t making sense. “What did you expect him to do when you wished for him to come here?”

“I didn’t mean to wish him here. And I wanted his advice, not his rampages.” My fingers started throbbing again. I shoved them back onto the bag of ice. “I thought he was supposed to do good things and help people. In books he was always the hero.” Chrissy slipped the Tansy Sparknotes back into her purse. “Well, you can’t believe everything you read. After all, by definition, fiction writers lie for a living.”

“But …”

Chrissy’s wings fluttered in agitation. She looked like a teacher whose students had failed a quiz. “You need to learn how to analyze men better. For example, you might have noticed that in England people often drop the ‘g’ when saying ‘ing,’ so if someone’s name is Robbing Hood, well, you don’t meet many hoods that are upstanding citizens, now do you?”

“Robbing Hood? ‘Hood,’ as in, he’s a robbing hood lum?” I sat back down on the chair with a thump. “I used a wish to bring a bunch of hoodlums to the city?”

Chrissy gave me a tolerant smile. “Here’s a piece of free advice—you probably don’t want to use a wish to hang out with Little Red Riding Hood. She’s not as innocent as the story makes her sound.”



102/356

“My wish was a mistake,” I said weakly. “You have to send them back.”

Chrissy smoothed out her skirt, and more minty-smelling glitter tumbled to the floor. “I can’t. Remember, all wishes are permanent and binding. You can’t undo them just because they didn’t make you happy. Magic is sort of like a cell phone contract that way.” She glanced at her watch, then back at me. “However, since I’m the caring type of fairy godmother who diligently looks after my charges, and since I still have five minutes left before my shift, I’ll have a talk with Robin Hood for you.”

She took her wand from her purse, waved it in the direction of my backyard, and Robin Hood and the Merry Men appeared there. They had obviously been sitting somewhere eating, because most of them held food in their hands. Potato chip bags and cereal boxes fell to the ground as the men realized what had happened. Several of them let out shouts and all of them jumped to their feet. Chrissy snapped her fingers and instantly she and I stood outside on my patio in front of them.

I looked around nervously. My parents were due home from work any minute and they wouldn’t be thrilled to find Rock Canyon’s most wanted hanging out in our backyard. And what if Hudson was still close by somewhere and he heard men yelling? It had only been a couple of minutes since he left my house.

“Good evening, gentlemen,” Chrissy chimed. “I want to have a few words with you.”

Half of the men drew their swords and watched us apprehens-ively, but Robin Hood sauntered up to us with a smile. His hat sat on his head at a crooked angle, which somehow made him look carefree and dashing. He even looked cleaner than he had last time. They all did. I wondered if they’d bathed in somebody’s pool.



103/356

Robin Hood winked at me. “Maid Tansy, how nice to see you again. And who would this goddess of loveliness be?” Chrissy laughed, a sound like bells ringing. “You, sir, are a rake, but a charming one. I am Tansy’s fairy godmother, Chrysanthemum Everstar.”

He bowed from the waist. “And I am your humble servant.” Chrissy smiled at him then regarded the Merry Men. She didn’t seem concerned that so many gripped their swords. “Tansy is rather distressed at your current occupation. She expected you to be less outlaw and more social worker. Is there any chance you’ll reconsider your careers and try something more people-friendly? Perhaps you could put on shows at Disneyland, or …” She tapped her wand, thinking. “I hear electrical engineers are in demand.” Several of the Merry Men showed their reaction to her suggestion by spitting on the ground. Which made me glad Chrissy had zapped them into the backyard instead of the house.