My One and Only(82)

She was being deliberately mean, but Haleigh didn’t blame her. This wasn’t Abby talking. It was the hurt. The loss. The anger.

“I would never have expected you to go against your husband’s wishes.”

“You’ve gotten so good at playing the martyr, haven’t you? Is that how you’ve blinded Cooper? Played up the Mommy Dearest story so he believes that your addiction isn’t your fault? That you can’t be blamed for all your bad decisions?”

“I’ve taken responsibility for all of my mistakes, but unlike some people, Cooper doesn’t hold them against me. He doesn’t consider me damaged goods because I’ve made some bad choices. And though you can lay a lot of things at my feet, Abby, I didn’t kill your husband.”

The grieving woman clung to the countertop until her knuckles were white. “He was so mad that I refused to tell you no. That I had the nerve to defy him. When he got mad, Kyle couldn’t sit still. That’s why he volunteered for that extra duty. He wasn’t even supposed to be out on the road, Haleigh Rae. But he went because I’d made him mad. Over you.”

“He was in a war zone, Abby.” Haleigh moved slowly around the island. “The same thing could have happened the next day when he was scheduled to be out there. You making him mad didn’t get him killed. You didn’t kill Kyle any more than I did.”

“No.” Abby shook her head and turned to face the window. “I should have agreed with him. I shouldn’t have been so angry that he wanted me to turn you away. I should have been a better wife. If I’d just done what he wanted, he’d still be here.” Shaking, she cracked. “It’s my fault.”

Haleigh wrapped her arms around her friend. “You’re wrong, honey. None of it’s your fault.”

After a brief struggle, Abby surrendered, spinning to return the hug. “I loved him so much, Haleigh Rae,” she sobbed. “I want him back.”

“I know you do,” she said, stroking Abby’s hair. “I wish I could do that for you.”

Haleigh’s shoulder grew damp with warm tears as the sobs racked the slender woman’s body. She couldn’t help but shed some of her own. When the crying subsided, Haleigh reached for the towel to dab at Abby’s cheeks.

“Why did you let me move in anyway?” she asked. “I’d have understood if you’d told me the truth.”

Abby’s breath hitched. “You didn’t have any place else to go, and I didn’t want to be alone. But then I started to feel like I’d betrayed him, like I chose you over him, and I got angry. Angry that Kyle took that patrol that wasn’t his. Angry that you were here and he wasn’t.”

“You have every right to be angry about all of that.”

“But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you,” Abby said, the tears coming again. “I don’t know what happened. I saw you and Cooper getting closer and the idea of you being happy made me even madder until I couldn’t see straight. Cooper is right, I’ve made you out to be a monster when I’ve been the awful one. God, when I think of the horrible things I’ve said.”

“Forget about it,” Haleigh said, relieved to have her friend back. “A lot of what you said was true, but I want you to know that I’m really trying to do better. I’m going to make you proud of me, Abby.”

“I’ve always been proud of you, Haleigh Rae. Always. You’re the reason I became a nurse.”

“I am?”

Abby shared a watery smile. “I knew I didn’t have what it took to be a doctor, but I still wanted to be like you, so I settled for nursing school.”

“Oh, hon,” Haleigh said, squeezing Abby’s shoulders. “You’d make a fabulous doctor.”

“Are you kidding?” Abby said with a harsh laugh. “Nurses really run the show. I wouldn’t trade my RN for an MD any day.”

Relief and love filled Haleigh’s chest. “I love your guts, Abby Lou.”

“I love your guts, too, Haleigh Rae. I’m so sorry. For everything.”

“I’m the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have dropped my mess of a life on your doorstep.”

Taking her hands, Abby said, “Your mother put you in a tough situation, and I’m glad I could be here for you. What you said is true. The same thing could have happened to Kyle any moment that he was there. But I can’t help knowing that if he hadn’t taken that duty, he might have come home. And then I get angry all over again.”

“I know what it’s like to lose someone because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time,” Haleigh said, remembering how she’d cried on Abby’s shoulder for weeks after her dad had been killed. “You helped me through it, and I’m here to return the favor, okay?”