My Name is Rapunzel(43)

Tom gasped and covered his mouth with his hand. He stared at the baby boy.

“He's here. You have a son.” I lifted him for Tom to admire. Was I stalling? I needed to help Suzette, but I was so afraid.

I moved the baby to his mother's face. She sighed with relief as she gazed at that sweet face. He locked eyes with hers.

I choked back a sob. I was witnessing the look of a mother angel as she gazed at her baby for what would likely be the last time. I turned my head to give the new family a moment of privacy.

“We’ll…call him…Luke.” Suzette’s voice sounded weaker with each word.

I glanced at Tom.

He nodded. Tears streamed down his face and pooled where Luke’s face touched his mama’s.

“I like that, sweetheart.” He rubbed Luke’s cherub cheek and bent to kiss Suzette’s forehead.

Did he realize his wife was fading? Should I tell him or let him enjoy the moment as long as he could?

Suzette let out a ragged sigh and fell back onto the bed. I looked at Tom. Did he know?

He knelt beside her and took her face in his hands. “Don’t leave me. Don’t leave us. Suzette. Please.” He laid his face on her chest as sobs racked his body.

Suzette’s grip on Luke faltered and the baby began to roll forward. I reached out for him, scooping him up in a crocheted afghan a grandmother had left behind. I held him close…for his comfort as well as my own.

Tom lifted his tear-streaked face. “When do we have to cut the cord? Suzette should do it.”

He still didn’t know she was gone. “I'm not sure. I think now.” It would soon stop pulsing with life as it caught up with her heart. I looked at the face of his beautiful wife. Finally at peace. If only I could have saved her somehow.

Tom caught my gaze and then looked back at his wife, the realization dawning. He was a father, but no longer a husband.

***

The days turned into weeks as I helped Tom care for Luke—such a sweet baby who would never know his mama. I changed his diapers. I bathed his face. I nursed him with milk from the goat. Would he think me to be his mother?

On the day Luke turned one month old, Tom came to me. He took my hands in his. “Rapunzel, he needs you. Will you be his mama? Will you love him like she would have?”

My eyes filled with tears. “It's not a question of if I will. I already do.”

Tom nodded. “I can’t be what he needs. I…I have to earn a living…and…. Will you care for him? Take him to the castle…raise him there?”

“Tom, what are you saying?” My heart thudded in my chest. Don’t do this to your boy. Don’t give him away.

“I know you won’t die, you'll always be there for him…forever. Will you do this for me? For him?” Tom slumped against the wall. Spent. The past weeks had aged him by years.

“Where will you go?” I clutched Luke to my chest. What would this mean for him?

“I have no idea. I just can't live here any more without Suzette. I fear, if I do, I… I just can't.” Tom wiped the tears from his eyes. “Will you do this for Lu—him?”

He’d already distanced himself from his son. So much so, he couldn’t say his name. I leaned my face down to smell his hair. My life had meaning with him, but Tom was his father. How would Luke feel if his father abandoned him?

No. I couldn’t stand for it. “Tom, if you leave, I will raise him as my own. But he needs you. He needs his father’s love. Please, don't do this. Don’t leave your boy.” I paced the floor, the baby sound asleep in my arms. “You will come back if you leave.” I shook my head, tendrils escaping my bun. “After all, how could you stay away? But when you come back, things won't be the same, you'll have missed too much.” I pointed my finger in his face. “Don't give this up to chase your grief. You will regret it.”

Tom hung his head. “It's already done.” He strode from the room through the front door and climbed into a waiting wagon.

He never looked back.





CHAPTER TWENTY




“Luke, come to Mama.” I reached out my hands, desperate to cuddle that wobbly toddler.

Luke grinned as drool dripped from his lips, his perfect little bottom teeth jutting from his lower jaw. He reached his chubby hands out toward me and made a hesitant move.

“Come on, baby.” His first step was about to happen. I just knew it. “You can do it.” I was so proud to see my baby grow, but each step from here on out would be a step closer to a life without him. Something I would relive for the next lifetime.

He lifted one of his sausage feet and inched it forward. He looked up and locked wide eyes with mine, the shock evident on his face.