Maybe. Maybe, I could cover the dress in plastic and tuck it away. If I could get it out of sight, in a remote closet somewhere else in the castle, maybe I could keep myself from putting it on and be one step closer to healing. Then again, I would be one step farther away from Henry. I let my fingers trace the line of tiny pearl buttons down the sleeve. Could I withstand the temptation to slip my arm in that sleeve and fasten each button, one by one, imagining the steps I would have taken to meet my groom at the altar?
Or, like always, like I knew I would, I could wear the dress. I could think of Henry. And I could dream of what might have been. What should have been.
No matter how right I knew it was to let go, I simply couldn't. I lifted the dress off my body and hung it back in his spot. I looked a little closer at the sleeve; the yellowing had become more pronounced in recent years. Maybe after this birthday I would have to find a way to store it. Preserve it for many more years of birthday celebrations.
So much for letting go.
In one month, I would wear this lovely dress again—with the matching slippers, of course. I’d stand in front of my large window at sunset and light my daily candle. I’d hold the flickering flame near my cheek to feel its warmth, as had become my custom, then I’d place it on the window sill as a sign to the dragon of my safe presence inside my tower.
Once I felt safe, once the dragon had been appeased, the full moon would light my way to the stream, the only place I might feel close to my Henry. It wasn't the same place we shared our wonderful kiss, but it was the closest in resemblance. The actual place was far, far away. I’d probably never make it back home, to the place I grew up, but I could still hope. Maybe one day.
Then again, I'd come to love this place, the valley and the mountains. I especially loved the way the stars twinkled during the cold months.
“Rapunzel, are you awake?”
My eyes snapped open. Gretta. Back to reality.
I swore that old woman must spy on me. How else would she know when I was awake? The sound of footsteps echoed near the top of the stairs and stopped on the other side of my massive bedroom door.
Why did she continue to frequent my tower even after she brought the water and prepared my toiletries each morning? Wasn't it bad enough she lived in my home? She had no business being in my tower uninvited, yet she continued to test her boundaries and my patience year after year, decade after decade.
Gretta wiggled the door latch. “Your breakfast is ready!” her voice sang out. I'd never allowed her inside for a social visit. I learned long ago if I let her get comfortable in my room, she’d make a habit of it. I didn’t want her digging around in my belongings, touching the items I’d brought from the past. From my home. She had no right being familiar with me or with my things. She only dwelled in the castle–like a tenant or a servant. I barely tolerated her presence and she should count her blessings that I hadn't made her leave to that point. If I hadn’t promised Father…
Honestly, it was a wonder Gretta still had the energy to climb those steps after all these years, especially carrying the basin of water. Surprisingly enough, she hadn't fallen yet.
But why did she do it? Breakfast was ready at the same time every day. There was no need to climb the stairs to tell me. Why did she feel the need to announce breakfast at the same time, every single morning? Maybe she was just being nice and trying to make things right with me somehow. I hadn't wavered in my disgust toward her once in 250 years. Why should I give in now?
She could be nice all she wanted. I never wished her there in the first place. It was all her fault we had to come and live at the castle anyway. She could pretend she was just checking on me because she worried for my wellbeing, but I knew the truth. I knew she worried that I would sneak away and never come back. I wished I could go away, but where would I go? What would I do? Besides, we both knew my leaving was impossible. The dragon would never allow it.
I leaned my back against the wall and tried to catch my breath. My body trembled and my legs grew weak. It wasn't long before their strength gave out. I slid down the wall to the floor. I covered my face before the tears fell.
A loud pounding on my door echoed through the tower. I held my breath and tried to stay quiet. Just go away.
“Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Are you in there?” Gretta's high-pitched tone sounded panicked, though why was a mystery. She’d seen me sleeping in my bed not long ago. If I were to run, I’d steal away in the middle of the night, giving myself more time to get away.
“Yes, I'm here. Everything is fine.” I guessed that depended on the definition of fine. Should I go to her? But why? Why would I comfort a witch?