“Lukas I’m surprised you were able to find me.” I mustered up, swallowing hard. He put his hand on my door and push himself in, his breathing was labored. He closed the door behind him and I stood firm ready to throw him out.
“Why did you not come to New York?” He said slowly through his teeth, the calm before the storm.
“I’m sorry what? I was mistaken for a minute there…oh that’s right you were in New York, thank god I read the Wall Street Journal or else I would have thought you were a figment of my imagination.” I seethed, poison ready to spew out. He waited.
“It was an important deal that I’ve been working on and I needed to leave. I was going to tell you when you came to New York.”
I chuckled this was ludicrous. “When I came to New York? Just like that. When you call I jump. When you want to see me you come. When I want to cum you make me. Anything else?” I gritted out “Aren’t you remotely tired of control everything about me?” My bitter words spewing out. “Get the fuck out Lukas.” I yelled. “You took what you needed and now I am done giving into you. So get out.” I knew my heart would hurt after he left but I didn’t care right now.
“I’m not leaving.” He bit back.
“Fine!” I walked back to my room put on a pair of jeans and a light sweater picking my bag up from the floor as I walked out of my room. He watched me from where I left him. “If you won’t leave then I will. See that you leave within the next hour.”
I grabbed the doorknob from behind him but he held the door closed.
“Why are you doing this?” He roared. I watched dumbfounded.
“Are you out of what’s left of your mind?” I inched closer “you left… no word, no text, no call, no nothing. You fucken left.” I screamed “Who the hell do you think you are? You share nothing of importance with me, not your work, not your life, nothing. We only have sex and I occasionally make you meals.” Tears began to well up as I laughed at how stupid I was. “Saying it out loud makes me sound like your Montreal whore. God I’m so stupid.” I stopped and took in the words I was saying. “It’s enough. I never felt I was good enough growing up, I built a nice little life for myself then you came and made me feel…but this… thanks for proving them right, I am nothing. Now get out of my way or so help me god Lukas I will punch you.” He watched me, fury billowing in his eyes, he nose flared up.
“How could you so easily walk away from me?” He yelled. A voice I had never thought I had came out of me, dark, loud and hurt.
“How could you so easily leave me, without one word? Do I mean so little to you?” I stared into his eyes, wanting an answer, afraid to hear what I had feared the most.
Something inside me snapped and I couldn’t look at him anymore, I tried to walk away but he grabbed my hand yanking me to the wall caging me in.
“Just sex? Have you any idea how it feels like being with you? To be inside you? I got wrapped up in work, fine I was wrong, but you meaning nothing? Have you any clue how much I missed you, yearned for you, craved for you. Your very touch can soothe me, your voice controls me, your eyes devour my soul. You ask why I don’t say anything about work or my family.” He cried out “How could I taint you with my crap? I never want it near you. They will rip the very wings you have so preciously made for yourself, I could never let that happened. To me you are my only solace, the only thing that matters. How could I bring you into it when it nearly destroys me?” Tears now falling, my will power failing me, his presence clouding my mind, I closed my eyes barely having the strength to push him away.
“Just sex?” He said sounding wounded. “Baby, it was never just sex…” He lowered his face to mine burrowing his face into my neck his long wet kisses melted any resolve I had. My belly quivered, my body ached; without one word he lifted me up taking me to my room.
“Take off your clothes Alexia.” His voice was not as controlled as usual. I followed his quiet command as we both took off our clothes, his eyes never leaving me. He lowered himself on top of me, brushing my cheeks with the back of his hand. He nudged himself inside me gradually. “I’m so sorry baby.” He said as he rested his forehead onto mine. He moved inside me as though he relished my body. I raised my hand feathering his skin, he shuddered under my touch. God help me I missed him. Our bodies moved in harmony, we were comforting each other. “Baby, please forgive me?” He then kissed me.
His kiss was heavy with words that he could not say. He undid me like he always did. I opened my mouth and a small gasp escaped me. I reached my arms around him holding him tight to me, “I missed you.” He slid inside me with deliberately long thrusts, “my Alexia, mine.” He kissed me again, the tenderness of his touch, the feel of his body, the weight of his words. I closed my eyes letting him take me, just like he always had, he didn’t demand that I come it came on its own. He watched as I withered in ecstasy, he held onto my waist driving himself to come.