I looked at his picture on the front page, there was no doubt he was in New York and beside him was the woman who was with him the last time he was here, Mollie.
Realization set in and the bubble that he had so carefully created around me disintegrated. The air rushed in, Lukas and I never really were. I was nowhere near the spectrum he was part of and he told me so with his actions. He barely ever spoke to me about work or even told me he was leaving, on some level I always knew. Maybe I was just a fun distraction for him. I brought him something he sought at the moment. My rationalization ended with the feeling of being used and tossed aside. I swallowed my bitter pill and finished my work day alone in my mind, lost to my torment.
I came home knowing that being here was no longer a safe haven, everywhere I looked I saw Lukas. I warned him and myself but neither of us listened. I let my perfect little world be destroyed by Hurricane Lukas, category five asshole.
I called the super and had him change my locks, just in case the Suit thought it fit to come back thinking I was his Montreal floozy. I spent the rest of the day cleaning making sure I exorcised him from my home. I knew it would be a feeble attempt to try to exorcise him from me but I was going to die trying. My mantra was fuck him. I pushed through deciding not to tell anyone, not even the girls.
The weekend came and went and I busied myself asking about their lives, they knew I would open up but only when I was ready.
Sunday breakfast ended and it was time for me to go home, alone, well not actually alone, it was me and the empty fucken void I was left with. I was never good enough and now I knew it.
I walked to my car when a big bald muscled man in a suit and black Ray Bans walked over to me.
“Miss Samos?” He asked. I moved back two steps. “Don’t worry.” He stood where he was not making an attempt to approach me. “I was sent to collect you. Mr. Blakk would like you to come to New York.” I half laughed and licked my lips. He can’t be serious?
“Tell your Mr. Blakk that I’m busy and will be unable to attend his great presence.” The note of sarcasm could seriously not be missed. The big muscled guy looked nervous.
“He insisted that you come.” He lowered his head a little.
“Listen,” I gestured to him waving my fingers at him. “What do you mean he insisted? What are you going to chloroform me and drag me there?” He laughed and nodded no. “Oh okay then I’m not going.” He looked at me for a while. A thin line appeared on his lips. He was not going to enjoy the conversation he was going to have with Lukas. “Tell him, I’m busy with a date my mom set me up with. Oh! And just in case, my phone is broken so he won’t be able to reach me anytime soon.” I smiled as best as I could. Baldy helped me with my door of my car and I watched as he entered a giant black Escalade with tinted windows.
I reached for my phone and turned it off, for the next few days I was going to be by myself trying to find my way back to me.
I dead bolted the door as I walked into my condo. It was as though I was trying to lock him out knowing it was impossible for me. The asshole actually though I would stop my life and run back to him, like nothing happened. I finished my shower and crawled into bed, putting on some Nina Simone. Why not? I fell asleep listening to her strong soothing voice.
“Stop Lukas I want you out, I’m done.” I seethed screaming at the top of my lungs, “leave me alone.” I kept screaming.
I jolted out of bed, my breathing was ragged. Cold sweat dripped down my back. I hugged my legs trying to center myself. I could feel my heart wanting to jump out of my chest, damn nightmare.
The music had stopped hours ago but I could still hear a thudding noise, maybe it was the neighbors. I looked over at the clock on my nightstand it was a little passed eight at night, shit I slept for over eight hours. The thudding continued. I stood up from my bed wanting some water when I stopped in my tracks. The thud was coming from my door.
“Alexia.” He cried out softly.
Lukas was here. Fuck how long was he out there? I squeezed my eyes closed, resenting how he always put me in these positions. I needed him to leave but I knew he wouldn’t, not until I pushed him out for good.
This needed to end, my poor heart protested but my mind waged on. I looked down all I was wearing was a white linen night gown, that only reached my knees. I contemplating changing but he was so persistent at the door. I unbolted the lock and opened the door slightly. He stood there in a navy suit that was tight enough you could see his bulging muscles. In one hand he held the key to my old lock, the other was busted up, so he punched something, great! A small part of me wanted to take him and fix it make the pain go away but another part warned me to push him as far as I could. His five o’clock shadow was now showing making his perfect goatee look even sexier, the days away from him only made me hungrier for him. His intense stare of his pure ice blue eyes nearly froze me where I stood.