She thought about asking him what he had actually heard just to clarify what they were discussing, but she wasn’t sure she could actually put together a cohesive sentence. So instead she just answered honestly.
“Yes.” She simply stated. After all, regardless of how much he'd heard, she knew that she had meant every word she said to Katie. Whatever he had heard had been the truth.
“You did?” There was surprise in his voice.
Deciding that all those hours she had spent watching Sex and the City should not go to waste, she decided she was going to pull out the old WWSD (What-Would-Samantha-Do) playbook. So she squared her shoulders, sitting up she faced him and repeated, looking straight into his gorgeous hazel eyes, “Yes.”
“You love me?” he asked, incredulous.
Okay, she thought, apparently he was the one who needed clarification.
Well, it’s now or never.
“Yes.”
His jaw tightened and a pained look crossed his face. Exhaling loudly through his nose, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back, resting it on the back of the couch. Tension radiated from him like heat from a boiler.
Well, she thought to herself, battling a small amount of irritation, like Grandpa J always says - don’t ask the question if you don’t want the answer.
Then another realization hit her. She understood, suddenly, that this may be the last few moments they would ever spend together. It was very possible he was going to get up and leave. Right now. Tonight.
She wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but she did feel like the ball was squarely in his court. She sat perfectly still and waited to see what he was going to do next. She tried to wait patiently. She had just made quite a declaration to him. He most likely needed time to process.
She just sat there. Didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Didn’t breathe.
This was ridiculous. There was only so much a girl could take, no matter how patient she had made up her mind to be! She needed to tell him that she knew he didn’t feel the same and not to worry about what he had overheard. It was just girl talk, for God's sake!
She wasn’t sure if he would buy it. But she definitely didn’t want him to feel sorry for her, or worse that he was somehow responsible for her. Like he needed to do anything because she had feelings for him.
The thought of being the object of Riley's pity, of being pathetic in his eyes, was so much worse than even the thought him walking out the door, and of her never entering his mind at all again after that.
Just as she opened her mouth to begin her let-him-off-the-hook speech he raised his head, his eyes locking with hers.
He no longer looked pained, he looked…turned on.
OOOOKKKKAAAAYYYY.....
Her entire body responded to his heated gaze, once again burning with arousal.
Oh, yeah.
She was definitely playing with fire.
“Tell me.”
Her mind was swimming and her heart felt as though it might beat right out of her chest. She was having a tough enough time reminding herself to breathe. Following along and participating in the thread of this conversation was too much to ask.
“What?” Her voice was barely above a whisper.
A small smile spread across his face. Moving slowly, he closed the gap between them. His lips brushed lightly against hers. He rested his forehead against hers.
“Did you mean what you said to Katie?” he asked again.
Hadn’t they already been through this?
Whatever. She liked where it was headed, so she certainly wouldn’t be pointing that out. That wouldn't be a very strategic move! Hell, for all she cared, he could keep asking her that exact same question all night if he stayed this close, and kept looking at her the way that he was!
“Yes,” she repeated her previous answer.
“Tell me,” he growled.
OH! Right. Got it. She might be a little slow on the uptake, but she understood now.
“I love you,” she said simply. And although before her voice had been small and quiet, when she spoke those words aloud to Riley, it rang out strong and clear.
Chapter Seventeen
Riley knew he was being selfish. He knew he had no right to ask her to say the words aloud to him when he wouldn’t be able to say them back to her. It wasn't because he didn’t feel that way - he did. He loved her. He knew that now, beyond any shadow of a doubt.
But...he had never said those words to anyone except his family. Never to a woman. Mainly, before now, it had been because he had never felt that way and he wouldn’t lie to them. That certainly wasn't the case here, but there were still problems.
With Chelle, he couldn't tell her, not because he didn't feel that way about her, but rather because he knew he shouldn't.
It wasn't fair to her. He knew that. But he couldn’t help it. He wanted to hear her say those words to him. He wanted to feel the power of those words coming from her mouth. He wanted to feel it wash over him like a wave.