“Yes, I really want to. It’s snowing, plus I need the fresh air.” I took my bag and headed out.
“Okay, but be careful,” she yelled after me.
I pushed the doors of the bookstore open and a gush of cold air hit me. I finally felt awake after hours of being cooped up inside. I took my scarf and pulled it up to cover my mouth and nose. Nothing was prettier than New York when it snowed. I made it a few steps when I heard…
“Is it true? What you wrote?” I turned to see Jason standing at the doors of the bookstore. “Is it true the things you wrote? Is this how you really see me?” he asked again. I said nothing and began to walk away.
“Was he truly a man or a mere dream I had dreamt of? A person like him could only exist in my mind. For how can a man as beautifully scarred as him, hold my beating heart? I knew. I knew when I saw him that he carried the other part of my soul. I must have willingly given it to him in my dreams, for it was always his to have.” Jason had memorized a part of my book. I stopped dead. My body grew numb. I was confused, even amazed with him.
“Those are my words and how I saw the world and how I saw you,” I replied. “So yes, they are true.”
Jason’s eyes fixated on me, his gaze held me to him. He stood for a long while as the snow slowly fell down around us. New Yorkers passed us by and went on with their lives as Jason and I just stood, frozen in our moment. I broke from his intense stare by wanting to leave, but Jason stopped me. He grabbed my arm, pulling me close as he kissed me. I held my mouth closed as I put my hands up to his hard chest and pushed him away.
“Let go of me,” I said quietly and controlled. Jason held on tight, but the moment I told him to let go he did. “You don’t get to decide when you and I happen. You pushed me away,” I stated as he held his head down.
“I know, but I had my reasons,” he challenged.
“Don’t we all?” I said bluntly. “Good night, Jason.” I left him there and continued on my path.
It wasn’t long before I realized Jason was behind me, following me. I ignored him and continued on my way. The snow was coming down harder and the streets were emptying out. It was well past eleven o’clock at night. I debated whether I should go into a coffee shop or take a cab.
“Are you done with your walk?” Jason asked, annoyed. I chose to ignore him, but he ran in front of me and stopped me from going further. “I’ll take you home,” he said, making it sound like an order.
“You have to be fuckin’ kidding me? Do yourself a favor and run along, junior,” I fired back.
“Kass!” he warned.
“What?” I cried out. “What can you possibly say to me, Jason? What? You were wrong. You did this for me. You did this for you. What, Jason? What?” I yelled. Jason’s breathing became heavier as he stared at me.
“When you were taken, my world stopped. Everything ceased to exist. The thought of you being hurt made me go crazy. You don’t understand, Kass. The guys at work had to hold me down. They had to stop me from killing Frank. I was going to kill him, Kass. No fuckin’ man can hurt you because so fuckin’ help me God, I will kill them,” Jason growled. “Kass, I wanted you to find your own life away from all this, away from our past and me. I'm fuckin’ broken, Kass.” he snapped. “I thought I was doing the right thing. But I know now all I did was hurt you more. I did the fuckin’ thing I swore I wouldn’t do,” he said ruefully.
“It’s not only you, Jason. I'm broken too,” I cried.
“I know, baby. Do you know why I know?” he asked, but I didn’t answer. “Because I hold your heart and you hold mine and only together can we be whole. I know because that night when you saved me and held me in your arms you became my only one.” He inched closer and took my face into his hands. His warm hands forced warmth into my cold face. “You’re always so cold,” he murmured as he slowly leaned in and kissed me.
His soft lips melted away every inch of fear I had of him leaving me again. I knew this time Jason was finally mine. He gently kissed me, pulling me in tighter. His tongue slowly slid in and out of my mouth, wanting me to fully let him in. I opened up to him completely. I raised my hands and wrapped them around his neck as he leaned down and held me. Our kiss was sensual and soft as we both melted in each other’s embrace.
“I missed you,” he whispered. “Kassia, I missed you so much that I ached all over. Thank you.” He smiled widely.
“Why?” I asked breathlessly.
“For giving me back my heart.” He kissed my forehead and took my hand into his. “Come on, let’s get you home.”