My Guardian Angel(53)

Twenty minutes later, Jason was at my door. I let him in, both of us not uttering a word. I headed back inside to my table, where I had a glass of wine, which I had started while waiting for him. The nerves in my belly had gotten the better of me so I needed the drink.

“Do you think it’s smart to drink after what happened?” he asked as he slowly sat in front of me. I looked at my wine and picked up the glass. I took a sip and relished in its taste.

“No, I don’t,” I said as I put it down. I turned my gaze to him and watched as he looked at me.

“Why were you at the club?” I asked, wanting to know the answer.

“Because,” he murmured.

“Because why?” I asked again.

“I knew you would be there and I wanted to make sure you were safe. Is that good enough for you?” he fired back.

“Then why didn’t you stay at the hospital?” I asked, hurt that he left me alone when I needed him.

“I didn’t want to push you. I didn’t know exactly how you felt about this and I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I have,” he stammered.

I picked up the glass of wine and drank again. I waited, watching him. Did he really care for me or was he like Darios and wanted to protect me? Or was he somehow lost in a brutal past we shared?

“I'm not going to lie and tell you that I understand what I'm feeling because I don’t,” I sighed. “But I can’t help but wonder if you feel a need to be with me because of what had happened all those years ago. Maybe I'm some sort of life-line to you and nothing more,” I said the words I was afraid to speak. They cut me deep.

What if I was a charity case to him or, even worse, what if he was emotionally attached to me because of his trauma? I closed my eyes and cried silent tears.

“When I was younger, I wanted to know who you were and thank you for saving me. All I wanted was to see you from afar. As I got older, I couldn’t help but feel attracted to you. But I kept my distance, knowing it was wrong. You had your own life to lead and didn’t need someone like me. When I saw you at the gym that day, the way you looked at me, I couldn’t help but want to get closer to you,” he said as he looked at me.

“Jason, you’re attracted to me because of the trauma you went through,” I said as I wiped my tears.

“You can’t honestly think that!” He snapped, his eyes now welling up.

“I fuckin’ love you, Kassia.” he cried out. “I love you like you are my own flesh. You are all I have ever dreamt of all these years,” he said bluntly. My heart fluttered at him saying he loved me.

“Jason…I'm scared. Afraid the love you feel for me is only temporary,” I said, continuing to cry.

“FUCK!” Jason slammed his fist hard onto the table. “You are my heart. When I left here, my heart stayed with you. I can’t exist if I'm not with you! Kassia, I love you. I love you and only you. Not because of the shit that happened, but because you are you,” he roared.

“This bond we have, it scares me,” I admitted.

“It scares the shit out of me, too. But there can be no one else,” he choked out. “Look Kass, just don’t push me out of your life. If you want to end this, I get it. I do. We have a past and it complicates things, but I want to be near you, even if it’s from a distance,” he said ruefully.

“I need time,” I said softly.

“I’ll be here, Kassia,” he said quietly. He dropped his shoulders and eased off the chair. I watched as he started for the door.

“No matter what, Kassia, I love you,” he said as he left.

I sat pinned to my seat as I cried uncontrollably.





The Bookstore



The next few days were a whirlwind of events. I had to start promoting my book and my editor thought it best that I go to Forbidden Planet for a book signing. In the back of my mind Jason lingered, but right now my time was completely taken over by all the junkets I had to do. My body was failing me, no doubt from the stress I was feeling.

“Have you spoken to your brother?” asked Tiff.

“No, why?” I asked as we walked towards the bookstore. Of course I cared. I missed my brother, nearly two weeks passed since I had seen him.

“He’s worried about you,” she said quietly.

“Well, then he can worry about me from afar for now,” I muttered.

“Kass! Don’t you care that he’s hurting?” she nearly screamed at me. I stopped walking and turned to Tiff, her eyes nearly bugging out of her head.

“Look, I know you have a thing for my brother and I get that you care that he’s hurting. But this is between him and me, which means it doesn’t include you,” I said in serious tone.