“Why the fuck is this happening to me? What the fuck did I ever do wrong?” I asked hysterically. Genna reached out and held me in her arms as I cried.
“Thank God, Jason was there. He saw what had happened and brought you to us,” she murmured as she soothed my back, trying to calm me down.
“What?” I asked as I pulled away.
“Yeah, Jason was there. I don’t know why, but he was. He said he saw you pass out and he brought you to us, telling us to call an ambulance.” Tara nodded in agreement.
“Where is he? Is he here?” I asked. My heart wanted to see him. I needed him now more than ever.
“No, sweetheart, he left once he knew you were all right. Dar didn’t make it easy on him either. I don’t understand. He was the one who found you and kept you safe,” Genna said, annoyed at my brother.
Darios walked in with Tiff, telling me the doctor said I could go home tomorrow. Tiff was just as pissed as my brother. She yelled at me, telling me that from now on either I stay home or I get a security guard to follow me around.
“Could both of you just leave her alone?” Genna started to freak on them. “Look, it’s not helping if you yell your frustrations at her,” she barked at them. Darios ignored her as he pushed her aside and sat next to me.
“Why did you treat Jason the way you did?” I asked, now angry.
“Why? What am I supposed to do? Just let him back in here? Let him just walk into your life like nothing has happened? He lied to you!” Darios yelled. “Kass, he could be the fuckin’ person who is stalking you!” I sat in the stretcher stupefied at my brother’s accusation.
“Jason would never hurt me. He’s not the fuckin’ stalker!” I bit out.
“You don’t know that,” he fired back.
“I know him. That should be enough!” I growled.
“Well it isn’t. It’s not like you are in the right frame of mind, Kass. He’s messed you up emotionally and I don’t want him anywhere near you. I don’t give a shit that he protected you tonight. I want him out of your life,” he barked.
“Get out,” I said calmly as I stared at him.
“What?” he asked.
“Get the fuck out,” I said again.
“Kass…” Darios started but I stopped him.
“I get it, you worry for me. I understand you love me. But I’ll be fuckin’ damned if you tell me how to live my life. You are my brother and I love you, but you are not my father! Now get out! Dar, you seriously crossed too many lines tonight!” I stood my ground, angry with him for going as far as ordering who I should be with and why.
Darios stared at me for a long while then stood up and stormed off. Tiff gave me a knowing look, understanding where I was coming from, but quickly followed my brother.
“Man, your brother is way overprotective of you,” Genna said as she sat back down next to me.
“He feels responsible for everything that has happened to me. But he doesn’t understand I'm stronger than what he thinks. He’s doing all this out of guilt.” I laid back down on the stretcher.
“So, now what? What if it was your stalker?” Tara asked.
“I don’t know,” I murmured.
Genna and Tara stayed the night, sleeping in the waiting room. The nurses tried to get rid of them, but not my girls. They were relentless in berating the nurses in letting them stay, saying it would be in their best interest if they left them alone. Both of them took me home and made sure I was settled. I couldn’t find anything that belonged to Darios, I guess he had left. I felt guilty for talking to him the way I had. With our parents out of the picture, Darios was the only real family I had. But I didn’t want him to love me because he felt guilty of what happened all those years ago.
“Are you sure you want to be left alone? I mean with everything that has happened, don’t you want someone here with you?” Tara asked.
“No. Actually I don’t,” I said frankly.
“Fine, sweet bitch, but know we are a phone call away. Expect to be called every day, several times a day.” Genna pointed at me.
I was finally left alone. I remembered some things my therapist said and decided to dive in and start writing. It was the only thing that ever made sense. I started to write about everything in my life and how I felt. The words poured out onto the screen in front of me. Word after word, page after page, I realized I wasn’t as strong as I thought. I hid away from everything, thinking I could somehow manage.
It was well into the night, but I picked up my phone and called.
“It’s me. I think we need to talk.” I hung up and waited.