My Fair Lily(96)
His grandfather shook his head. “Needless to say, we on the board of directors were furious. We resolved to do all in our power to discourage the little upstart.”
Ewan opened his mouth, preparing to insult the unworthy lot of them, but his grandfather held him off. “I know what you must think of us. What you must think of me. We were wrong to dismiss her talent, but that isn’t all I did. You see, I learned a few days ago that Ashton Mortimer intended to quietly circumvent the ban I’d placed on Lily and the presentation of any of her work. I knew they had collaborated on several papers, and in my heart I knew she’d done most of the brilliant work. Ashton doesn’t have the intellect. He’s a dullard, and he couldn’t have obtained membership in the Royal Society without her help.”
“Which Lily readily gave. She’s generous that way.”
His grandfather paused a moment and shook his head. “I was furious that he’d disobeyed my instructions, so I dismissed him from the Royal Society yesterday afternoon. He was devastated, begged me to reconsider, for he’d secured funding for an expedition to Madagascar and feared he’d lose it once word got out. I refused, and that must have sent him over the edge.”
Ewan ran a hand raggedly through his hair. He wanted to wrap his fingers around his grandfather’s neck and choke the life out of him, but in truth, the old man could not have known what Ashton intended. “He had Lily’s abduction planned long before you dismissed him. I’m sure now that the attack on her at Tattersalls was his first attempt at it. As for his expedition, I don’t think it ever existed other than in his distorted imagination.”
His grandfather gazed at him, silent for a long moment as he considered Ewan’s words. “I’m still to blame. I was so intent on breaking the girl’s spirit that I gave no thought to who else I damaged along the way. Ewan, you must believe I never intended any harm to befall her.”
His grandfather was referring to physical harm and still had no understanding of the many other ways a person could be damaged. Looking at his grandfather, he suddenly wondered about his youth and the treatment he’d received while growing up. It didn’t absolve him of the harm he’d done to Evie and Desmond, or the attempted harm to Lily, but the old man did appear genuinely sincere. Ewan didn’t know him well enough to tell for sure, but his instincts rarely guided him wrong. “There’s a way to make matters right. You banned her from the thing she loves most in the world. You broke her heart.” As I did. “Allow her to attend the Royal Society lectures. Publish her monograph. Make her your first female member.”
“She can attend the lectures, but as for the rest of it, she’s just a girl and will soon have much to distract her attention. A husband, children.” He shook his head and sighed. “You ask for more than I can give, Ewan. She’ll be satisfied to be allowed back in.”
Ewan rose, his fists curled in anger, though it was mostly aimed at himself. He’d treated her no better than those old fossils. They’d merely wanted to control her ideas. Ewan had wanted to control all of her, expecting her to give him everything while he held himself back. He must have sounded as dismissive as his grandfather sounded now. “Just a girl? She’s Lily. There isn’t another like her in all of England.”
The old man eyed him speculatively, then let out a bark of laughter. “You’re in love with a Sassenach. What are you going to do about it?”
“The right thing. The best thing. I’ve asked her to marry me.”
Whatever he expected from his grandfather, it certainly wasn’t to see the old man break down and weep. “Thank goodness,” he said in a ragged whisper, unashamed of the tears welling in his eyes and suddenly spilling down his cheeks.
“Grandfather?”
“I’m proud of you, Ewan. You didn’t make the same mistakes I did. I’ve always been an arrogant bastard, and when you first came to Lotheil Court, I thought you were just like me. But you’re not. You’re able to bend, to admit you were wrong and move on.”
“Grandfather—”
“I almost killed the woman you love because of my arrogance! After all these years, I still haven’t learned a single, damn lesson in life. I’ve made everyone around me miserable, Evangeline and Desmond most of all. Lily’s right. I deserve to die alone in this mausoleum.”
“She didn’t mean it. She isn’t the sort to wish ill on anyone.”
He brushed a tear off his cheek as he nodded. “I tried to bribe her. Did she tell you that?”