My Fair Lily(90)
“She means nothing to me. Not anymore.”
“But she did once,” she said quietly. “I’d never experienced jealousy before. It’s such an ugly sensation. I didn’t want her to have you. I wanted you all to myself, no sharing with anyone else. My feelings were little different from what Ashton screamed out. You’re mine. No one else will ever have you. Of course, I know that you’re free to choose whomever you wish to love. I would never have acted upon my feelings as he did, not in that ugly way.”
Her lips began to tremble and tears welled in her eyes. “I’ll always love you, Ewan. No matter what happens once we’re back in London. I know you’ll leave soon. I may never see you again. I wanted this precious time with you. I wanted your hands on my body and your lips on mine... I wanted the magical experience that my married sisters told me about. I want all of it. Now. With you. I can’t imagine it being magical with anyone else.”
Her words were like arrows shot straight through his heart. She loved him, or so she thought. Lily knew books. She didn’t know life. He’d taken advantage. He’d told the innkeeper she was his wife. Had Lily mistaken it as a declaration of his love? He was a miserable cur. “Lass, get some rest. We’ll speak of it later.”
She shook her head and frowned. “Oh, I see. You feel responsible for me. You think I don’t know my own mind and will regret it later. You think I’ll blame you and expect you to protect me from my own mistakes. You mustn’t feel any obligation on your part. None whatsoever.” A tear slid down her cheek.
Thwack! Not just an arrow through his heart. A damned harpoon. The sort that brought down whales. “Those are your terms? I’m to show you a good time without facing any of the consequences?”
She nodded.
He wasn’t a London gentleman, but Highlanders had their rules of honor. She was his, whether or not she realized it yet. He’d sealed their fates the moment he’d called her his wife and asked for a single room. He’d said it out of a need to protect her. He’d said it because he couldn’t bear to have her out of his sight. The damn, rotten thing about it was that calling her his wife had felt great. Felt right. He’d talk to her father. No question about it, they’d have to set a wedding date. “We have a deal.”
“We do?” She didn’t seem quite so sure of herself now.
“But I’m adding one requirement to this arrangement. You can say no at any time and I’ll back off. At any time, Lily. You’re safe with me. I’m not taking you against your will.” He wanted her now, was on-hands-and-knees-begging desperate to have her. But he’d wait until their wedding night if he had to. He wanted to make Lily happy. Seeing her shed tears of regret would kill him.
She pursed her lips, obviously contemplating his proposal as though negotiating a contract. The girl couldn’t see the forest for the trees. She didn’t realize that he was negotiating for her heart. “Seems only fair to agree to reciprocal terms, Ewan. You can say no as well and I’ll stop whatever it is I’m supposed to stop.”
He let out a groaning laugh. “No, lass. I’ll no’ wish to stop.” He knelt beside her to caress her cheek. “It’s you who must be free of doubts.”
She leaned forward, her damp hair spilling over her shoulders in glorious disarray, and kissed him lightly on the mouth. She drew back smiling. “I’m sure. You’re giving this far too much thought. I suppose it’s what makes human males different from baboon males. When the male baboon feels the urge, he relieves it. Did you know that female baboons have their own tricks to attract a male and heighten his pleasure?”
He gulped. “No, Lily. I didn’t.”
“If you ever get me into that big, comfortable-looking bed, I’ll show you.”
CHAPTER 17
LILY DIDN’T KNOW how to make it any clearer to Ewan that she wanted him, wanted his arms around her, his lips on her mouth and breasts and any other place on her body he thought appropriate... or highly inappropriate. She’d leave this business of lovemaking to him since he seemed to know what he was about. She liked what he’d done to her in the tub.
She swallowed hard, recalling the heat of his tongue teasing her nipple, and the sudden, hot rush of sensation caused her to almost choke on her biscuit. Cough! Gag! And if that wasn’t humiliating enough, she topped it off with a sneeze. Well, that was attractive.
Ewan turned to her, his expression worried at first, and then he realized what she’d done. He laughed, still watching her as he stripped out of his clothes. Blessed saints and burnt crumpets. It wasn’t just that he was stripping out of them, but the manly, Highlander way he grabbed his shirt and raised it up and over his broad shoulders, the way his tall, lean body flexed and strained to accentuate his rock-hard muscles. Goodness, the man had muscles.