My Fair Lily(45)
She shook her head, confused. How could she have made such a blunder? She’d poked the snake, expecting it to coil up and spring at her, but he’d gone for Ashton instead. “I ought to have thought of all possibilities. I never considered that he would turn on you. Please believe that I’d never purposely—”
“I know, Lily. I also want you to know that I’ll survive with or without the Royal Society.”
“How? It means too much to you. I’ll make it right. I promise.” She felt awful. How could she have done such a thing to a friend? Her dearest friend outside of her own family.
He tightened his grip on her shoulders, still gentle as he shook her lightly. “But making it right would mean striking your name from everything we’ve done together. I can’t ask you to do it.”
“And I can’t allow you to give up everything we’ve accomplished. We’re a good team, and I always enjoy our scientific collaborations, but I’ve brought this on myself and must now face the consequences. I alone. Not you.”
He sighed. “Hopefully, the situation will improve over time. What if I were to tell you that I have a potential benefactor for my research?”
“You do? Why didn’t you let on sooner? That’s wonderful.”
“Well, the details aren’t quite settled. There’s a risk my benefactor will back out if my membership in the Royal Society is rescinded. But I’m hopeful that he won’t. There are decent men out there who value science and discovery, who respect a man’s ability to think, and who look to expand knowledge instead of stifle it for the sake of their own petty jealousies.”
Her eyes rounded in surprise. “Ashton, I appreciate the gesture, but this is all the more reason why I can’t let you stand against the Royal Society. I won’t allow the duke to destroy your life and all our good work. It’s the science that matters, the advancement of man’s knowledge. I insist that you do as the duke asks. Strike my name from the monograph. Strike my name from all our collaborations.”
“Lily, are you certain? It’s asking a lot of you.”
“Intensifying hostilities will only get other innocent people hurt. It’s better this way. I’m certain, Ashton. I don’t mind at all. Really, I don’t.”
He shook his head, but smiled. “Thank you, Lily. In truth, I’ve been turned inside out by the situation. I would never have forced you to buckle under to his demands, but it does take a great weight off my shoulders. I was hoping you’d agree to this resolution. It’s the only way to save all our hard work.”
She kept the smile fixed on her face, though she was aching inside. This research wasn’t just an assignment for her, it was something she loved. “You may as well report the good news to the duke, let him know he’s won.”
“I will.” Ashton was still holding her, his hands casually resting on her shoulders. “Lily, what are you thinking?”
That she wished Ewan were here. If he’d been in Ashton’s situation, he would have confronted his grandfather, faced him like a man and not backed down to his threats. But Ewan was a stubborn Scot, with an even more stubborn protective streak. He would have given up his membership in the Royal Society and told all the old fossils on the board to stuff their demands somewhere unmentionable.
He would have done it for her, even though he didn’t love her. He would have done it in his hot-headed, manly splendor, not caring what it meant for his career, for he was confident of his abilities and would not have doubted his ability to find a benefactor to support his research.
But Ashton wasn’t like Ewan. He was an Englishman, bred to be polite and to respect those above his station. It wasn’t a matter of finances either, for Ashton’s father was a lord and a man of comfortable means. Ashton was his heir and would inherit his title and all the benefits that came with it. Though they never discussed finances, she knew his father had been generous and supportive of his endeavors. No, Ashton’s concern was scholarly in nature. Their research was important, and not even their friendship could be allowed to stand in the way.
At the moment, she liked the Scottish way better. Proud, stubborn, stand one’s ground. No wonder Ewan held little admiration for the English. Sassenachs is what he called them, claiming he would never marry one of them. Unfortunately, that’s what she was. English born and raised. Not that she was thinking of marriage to Ewan. She wasn’t. Even though he made her insides flutter.
Problem was, she didn’t make his insides flutter. The lame kiss she’d foisted on him had done nothing to heighten his desire, though it had sent her into raptures. Who would have thought that a slight pressure to his warm lips would have kindled a fire within her?