"He's a good man, Cassie."
"I know that. Or at least I always thought he was, up until now. If he's the reason I can't be with you, then I don't know how I can ever forgive him."
Now Nick turned to me urgently. "But you have to, Cassie. He's your family, and he only wants what's best for you. He wants you to live your life fully. To be young and carefree and explore your options. And then when you are ready to settle down, to meet someone your own age. Someone at the same place in his life. And that's not me. It can't be."
"Did my dad say that? Because he's wrong, Nick. He's wrong. What I need is you. The man who makes me feel so alive that every day is a gift. The man who makes me feel so special. The man I think about every waking moment. I want you. What my father wants shouldn't factor into it."
"But it does. I'm sorry, but it does. There's no future for us if your family won't accept us. And he is right about our ages. You should be out there, living life to the fullest. Choosing your major. Meeting guys your age. Maybe studying or working overseas. You've got all this time ahead of you. When I was your age, there was so much I wanted to do. That's where you are now, but it's not where I am. I've done that, and now I'm ready for … a different phase of my life to begin."
He squeezed my hand and then let it go. "I'm sorry, Cassie, but we can't do this anymore."
Chapter Eleven
I CRIED OFF and on for the next seventy-two hours. At times I'd cry myself to sleep, and when I'd wake up, I'd wonder why I had a headache. Why I had such a sense of impending doom. And then I'd remember what happened and start crying all over again.
Mom would come up to bring me food, rub my back, try to get me to get out of bed, but I didn't want to leave my room. Sometimes, just for a change of pace, I'd spend a few hours sitting in the window seat in my room, watching the rain hit the windows. The wind smacked palm fronds against the glass, but otherwise, it was just the rain, running down the panes in little streams.
"Please, Cassie, you have to eat something."
"I'm fine."
She went to the bathroom and wet a washcloth, returning to wipe down my face. "I know things look bleak right now, but you have to eat. Come downstairs. We've got some candles set up, we can listen to the storm together."
"I'm not going down there if he's there." And then a moment or two later, her words sunk in. "Candles?"
"The power's out from Tropical Storm Ginger-didn't you notice?"
But I hadn't. Electricity didn't matter much when a steady stream of salty tears leaked from behind my closed eyelids.
"Come downstairs. Please, Cassie. For me."
Since she was the only member of my immediate family still speaking to me, I supposed I could do this for her. "All right."
She left, and I freshened up a little, changing into jeans and a sweatshirt. Something about the storm outside made me want to bundle up a little. As I went through the motions of being a normal, non-heartbroken person, I couldn't stop thinking about Nick. In such a short time, he'd come to mean so much to me. I loved him. I wanted a future with him. Why couldn't he see that? But even if he could, my dad never would.
Moving carefully down the dark steps, I entered the living room, relaxing a little when I saw that it was just my mom. She handed me something. I sniffed it-hot chocolate. It weather was as hot as ever, but the fierce winds and driving rains made us both in the mood for comfort and warmth.
I sat on the sofa and tucked my feet up underneath me, sipping my drink. Mom had some tea, and for a while we sat in silence in the dark. A perfect metaphor for my life right now.
And then Dad came in. He did a double-take when he saw me, and I stiffened, but neither of us acknowledged the other. Instead, he turned to my mom.
"I've got to go to school."
"What?" Mom yelped a little louder than necessary-I suspect she'd spilled her hot tea in surprise. "Have you seen the way it's blowing out there? It's not safe, Rob."
"I know. That's why I have to go. There's a girl missing. A fifteen-year-old named Ariel."
Now my head swung around. Mom asked the question I wanted to ask. "What do you mean missing?"
"She never came home after school yesterday. At first her mother thought she was with a friend. But then with the storm, she started getting worried. She said that Ariel hasn't been herself lately. The girl's been acting moody. Depressed. The mother's very worried about her."
"Have the police been called?"
"Yes, they're looking too. But they're spread really thin with all the downed power lines, and tree branches blocking the road. They're doing the best they can, but it's not enough." Dad looked out the window at the dark shapes blowing, and I followed his gaze. To think that a girl was missing in this storm. It was an awful thought.
"But why do you have to go to the school?" Mom wanted to know. "Did Ni-did the administration ask you to?"
"No. They just sent out a message to all of us," Dad said, holding up his phone. "And it made me think. The police searched the school and are looking other places now, but that place is huge. It's laid out like a maze," he said, and for the first time he looked over to me. I nodded once. He was right.
"What if she's still there? Hurt or scared or something. We live so close, it's easier for me to get there than other teachers. I just can't sit here knowing that there's the small chance she could be there."
"I'll go too," Mom said, but she looked apprehensive. She'd always been unreasonably fearful driving in any kind of inclement weather.
My father knew that. "You stay here, Gwen. A tree branch could come crashing through a window at any minute. Someone needs to watch things here at home."
After a long moment, she nodded. "Please be careful, Rob. Really careful. If it's not safe to get there, just turn back, okay?"
"I promise," he said. He moved toward the closet with the raincoats, and I stood up and did the same.
"Cassie?" Mom said, fear in her voice again. "You have to stay here, too."
"I know that school as well as anyone," I said, my voice rusty from disuse. "Better than most. I'm going."
She came over and gave us both hugs. Without speaking my dad and I donned boots and jackets and then backed the SUV out into the storm.
* * *
The storm was worse than anything I'd seen in a long time, though usually I wasn't out driving during tropical storms or hurricanes. There were tree branches and debris all over the road, but nothing that blocked both lanes.
The high school itself had fared pretty well. No windows appeared to be broken. But it looked dark and foreboding. If Ariel was in there, it would be like finding a needle in a haystack. But if she was out in the storm, it was worse.
Dad pulled up out front, leaving the SUV at the curb, well away from any trees. He handed me two flashlights, grabbed a few of his own, and we ran for the front door of the building. By the time he got it unlocked, we were both soaked.
Once inside, I did my best to wring out my hair and clothes. I should have brought some dry things in a plastic bag, but I'd live. Finding Ariel was more pressing. We left our jackets by the door and headed deeper into the school, losing the light from the windows behind us.
"Where should we start?"
I jumped at the sound of Dad's voice. It was the first direct thing he'd said to me in days.
"I was thinking maybe G-wing. There are so many unused classrooms down there." G-wing was one of the oldest parts of the school. Originally, the school had been an elementary school that held just a hundred students or so. Since then, it had gone through numerous expansions. The resulting building today was a lot like a labyrinth.
We walked in silence past the hallways leading to the cafeteria and gym. The sound of the storm was no longer audible, but the air felt still and oppressive. Leading the way, I rounded a corner and saw a beam of light in front of me.
"Ariel?" I called out. But then a tall figure materialized out of the dark.
"It's just me." It was Nick armed with flashlights of his own. I wanted to run to him. I wanted to throw myself in his arms. I wanted to beg him to be with me, but I couldn't do any of those things. Not with my disapproving father right next to me. And not with a girl missing.
"We're going to go search the G-wing."
"Good idea," Nick said, his eyes jumping back and forth between my dad and me. "I searched A, and I was about to go to E."
"Let us know if you find anything," my dad said gruffly.
"You too," Nick said, and we went our separate ways.
* * *
Cautiously, I crept along the narrow hallway. Dad and I had split up when we'd gotten to G-wing. Here at this end, it was possible to hear the storm again. All in all, my two flashlights did little to make this place seem less like a haunted house. If a ghost drifted out from the wall, I really wouldn't have been too surprised. Scared to death, but not surprised.