My Brother's Best Friend(19)

I reached the guard standing by the VIP room with tears in my eyes. Before I could go any further, Eric grabbed my arm and I reacted. “Don’t touch me!” I jerked my arm out of his forcefully and looked up at the guard, who recognized me from earlier.

“Is this man bothering you?” the guard asked.

I nodded, unable to talk.

“Go on up, miss. I’ll handle this.”

I didn’t wait to see what was going on, instead I ran up the stairs as I heard Eric tell the guard to let go of him.

I found my jacket and collapsed on the couch. “Can I get you something to drink?” the same waiter who served us before asked. “Larissa said to bill her, so you are not to worry about paying.”

I looked up at him and wiped the tears away. “In that case, bring me the strongest thing you have and make it a double. I need to do some forgetting tonight.”

He brought me a drink almost immediately, and I chugged it down. He raised an eyebrow and brought me another, so I emptied that one too.

“Hey, there you are. I was wondering what was taking so long,” Devin said as he walked over to the couch.

He frowned at me. “Have you been drinking?”

“Isn’t that pretty obvious?” I was probably slurring a little. I had managed to kick back several glasses before Devin showed up.

“What are you doing?” He pulled the glass out of my hand.

That’s when I broke down. I wasn’t as strong as I looked, though now I doubt I looked strong at all.

“What’s wrong, Chris? Are you still bothered by that encounter with Eric earlier?”

I shook my head. “It forced me to relive what happened. I can’t handle remembering, Devin. It’s like looking down and realizing the knife that was plunged into me all those years ago hasn’t been removed, only hidden. Now it’s been twisted to expose the gaping wound, making me feel the pain of it all over again.”

Devin sat down and pulled me into his arms as I cried. “Well, now we know there’s a wound still hurting. Shouldn’t we take the knife out and sew you back up?”

I nodded my head as I sniffed and wiped away tears.

“Why don’t you start by telling me what happened. Describe the knife that hurt you. I want to fix this for you.”

That sounded like something Dr. Stone would say.

I let my thoughts drift back to high school, back to when Eric Gunderson first came into my life. He was the star quarterback and every girl wanted him. During my senior year, I couldn’t believe it when he dumped his girlfriend and asked me out. I found it so odd, in fact, that at first I said no. But the girls on my volleyball team encouraged me to just see where it would lead. It wasn’t like it was anything but dinner, they said.

One dinner led to another and then the movies and pretty soon we were the next ‘it’ couple, or at least that’s what I thought.

I took a deep breath. “Well, you already know I dated Eric in high school, right?” I asked Devin, stalling.

He nodded patiently, tucking a few strands of my hair behind my ear and gazing deeply into my eyes.

“I loved him, or at least I thought I did. And I thought he loved me too. I didn’t realize it was all a game to him.”

Devin’s hazel eyes darkened. “What do you mean?”

I felt heat creeping up my cheeks, but I realized that maybe Devin and Dr. Stone were right. I’d held this all inside for so long. Maybe it would be good to get it out. And after how Devin how found me in the aftermath of all of this, he couldn’t possible think any less of me.

“After prom, he booked a room at a hotel,” I began haltingly. “I was a virgin, but he told me that if I loved him…”

A muscle leapt in Devin’s jaw, as though he were clenching his teeth. “I understand.”

I didn’t think he really did, but I didn’t really want to go into this part of it. My only knowledge of sex was what I had seen in the movies or read in books. But I quickly found out that life wasn’t like the movies. It never would be.

“Needless to say, I couldn’t get him to rise to the occasion. I blame it on my nerves and also on the simple fact that he was trying to control everything that happened—when I didn’t do something right, he would comment on it—making me do things I wasn’t sure I was ready to do.

“Anyway,” I hurried on. “The next weekend he invited me to a party. When we got there, I saw my volleyball team and the cheerleaders all grouped together, laughing, obviously planning something. I went over and tried to join them, but they told me that it was a surprise for me and Eric.”

Devin made a visible effort to control his mounting anger, and I found myself touched that he seemed to care so much. He really was a good friend, I realized, somewhat surprised.