My Best Friend's Ex(89)

         
       
        

I swallow hard. "But don't you think there are some things between us that are holding us back?"

"Like what?"

Sadie.

Isn't it obvious? And what about the room I'm not allowed in? But instead of bringing up my best friend, I say, "Your mom, you don't ever want to talk about her."

"I don't," Tucker agrees. "She's a vile woman who deserves what's been handed to her."

"Don't you think you should talk about it though? For healing?" I'm totally alluding to something else. Hint, hint, Sadie, but he doesn't take the bait.

"There is nothing really to talk about, babe."

"Then why is she on the rules of not to talk about?" HINT, HINT!

He runs both hands over his face and blows out a long breath. "Because, she's not worth the words. She was a terrible mom. When my dad wasn't around, she didn't care that she had a child. There were days where I only had a meal to eat because I scrounged it up from the school or friends helped me out. And when my dad passed, it was all downhill from there. I had to fend for myself. The only good thing that came from my mom was her signing off on me working for Julius at such a young age. Granted, I caught her when she was high as shit, but I got her signature and from there on out, I was self-sufficient. She's a piece of crap, Emma, not worth talking about."

I cup his face, my heart breaking for the boy I knew so many years ago. I was either naïve, or totally oblivious to real life, but I never really got the impression that Tucker was fighting to provide for himself as a kid. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed it."

"You didn't know. Not many people did. I didn't wave around my dirty laundry asking for help. I got it where I needed it."

Aka, Sadie.

My heart rips apart.

It stings.

How I now wish I was the one who helped him back then, the one who took him in and took care of him, not Sadie.

"Still. I wasn't a good friend."

"You've always been a good friend, Emma." He brings his lips to my forehead and kisses me softly. "You're better than anything I deserve." He sighs and says, "I'm sorry Logan made you question what we have. I don't want you worrying, Emma. We're solid, babe. There is nothing for you to worry about, okay?"

We're solid, babe.

Nothing to worry about.

His answers seem so simple, and yet, it feels entirely way too complicated.

He brings his mouth close to mine and repeats, "Okay?"

I stare into his soulful eyes. They speak of his intentions, the intentions Logan so blatantly said are ill warranted. But from my point of view, from where I can see it, he's genuine. And I might regret this, but I nod. "Okay." 

"Are we going to be okay?" His eyes search mine. "Because I'm addicted, Emma. I'm addicted to you and I don't want anything to stand between us."

Are we going to be okay?

Can he truly be so oblivious? There is one giant elephant standing between us. How can he not see that? Or is it not an issue because I'll never . . .

"I know."

"So we're good?"

I swallow hard and nod. "We're good, Tucker."

He lets out a long breath and then sinks us down on the mattress. He lays me on top of him and strokes my hair with one hand as the other holds me close to his body. His warmth wraps around me and eases some of the building anxiety. There might be some unanswered question on my end, but right now, lying here in Tucker's arm, I know one thing: I'm addicted to him as well and I'm pretty sure he now holds my heart in his hands. What he does with it is up to him.

I just hope I don't break.





Chapter Twenty


TUCKER

"Help me with this," I ask Racer as I try to position the plush cream rug I bought for the living room. The other day I went to Olum's furniture and dipped into my savings. I purchased some things for our house, hoping to surprise Emma. Again.

"I came to finish up this mantle, not decorate with you," Racer replies while leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

"Just fucking help me. Christ, dude."

Racer huffs and walks over to the other side of the rug and helps me position it. "You should do it at an angle, offset the furniture. Gives the room a fun yet cozy feeling." I lift an eyebrow at him and he shrugs. "Nate Berkus was on Rachel Ray the other day, and he has some good pointers."

Racer's celebrity crush is Rachel Ray. He loves her.

"I think straight is fine."

"Have it your way."

He helps me move the couch back into position, and then adds the navy blue armchairs I purchased for either side of the rug. Across from the couch, I lined up the new oak buffet that matches the coffee table, and doubles as a TV stand. I brought my TV down from my room and set it up so Emma and I can snuggle on the couch and watch movies, instead of always having to watch things on her computer screen, or in my bed. Although, that had its advantages . . .