"Gosh, I wish I would have seen it as well," I say, even though I don't know what she's talking about.
Sadie brings her coffee up to her mouth and says, "So tell me about you. What's been going on? I really can't believe we haven't seen each other in a few months. How crazy is that?"
I shrug my shoulders. "Busy schedules and demanding boyfriends." I smile over my coffee knowing fully well Sadie has been swept up by the beautifully nerdy, sexy, and charming Andrew. I don't blame her. Our friend Smilly actually tried to set me up with him back when Sadie and Andrew were first working together at Friendly's, the best ice cream parlor EVER! Sadie wanted nothing to do with Andrew and he was a solid catch. I don't blame Smilly. Andrew and I actually hit it off, but the minute I saw him look at Sadie, I knew. He was infatuated with her. I settled for being friends.
"He's not that demanding . . . only in bed." Sadie winks and then giggles while drinking her coffee.
Hand to heart, if you knew this girl a year and a half ago, you wouldn't have recognized her. She's not the same person. Andrew has brought the happiness out of her and has helped her smile again. In high school, she was guarded, often protective of her heart. She could laugh and have fun with the rest of us, and Smilly, Sadie, and I got up to plenty of crazy. Tucker made her smile. And cry. That mixture of joy and sorrow was why I never thought they were right for each other. It was like a restless friction, like a pushmi-pullyu. But this smile? This . . . lightness? It's like she's been freed from a shackle. As if she has truly found herself. As if she's emerged from a blanket of grief.
Genuinely, I say, "I'm so glad you're happy, Sadie. I really am."
"Thank you. What about you though, are there any men in your life?"
Ha, what a loaded question. Well, let's see, yes, as a matter of fact there is, but it's so beyond complicated that I can't even begin to discuss it, let alone with Sadie. And even if I decided to talk to Sadie about my feelings for Tucker, I would have no clue how to go about it.
I shake my head. "No. Not right now." The lie feels heavy falling off my tongue, but the truth would feel like trudging through quicksand, so I stick with the lie, too scared to see her reaction.
"What about Logan? Still nothing between you two?"
I laugh. "No. Still just friends."
"Friends to lovers maybe?" There's hope in her eyes.
"We've been there. It didn't quite work out. It's the reason why I didn't move in with him when he offered. We just would never make it work. It's way too awkward. We are way better off as friends."
Sadie's brow pinches together. "Why did he ask you to move in with him?"
Oh shit. Did I say that? It just slipped out.
"Uh." I cringe. "When I was evicted from my place with Adalyn."
"You were evicted? Oh my God, why?"
Crap, this was not the conversation I wanted to have right now but knowing I won't be able to get out of this, I go for it.
"Our landlord wasn't paying the mortgage. The bank foreclosed on the property and gave us five days to pack up and find another place to live."
"Oh my gosh. Where are you living now? Are you back in Whitney Point?"
Our hometown, where we grew up, where we have the most memories, and the most heartache. It's about a half hour away from campus, an inconvenient commute especially for me with my schedule. Plus, I love my parents, but living with them again, no thank you. I would end up being forced into playing pinochle with them every Friday night with Roseanne Joanne-my mom's hairdresser-as my partner. And I refuse to have RJ as a partner again; she thinks passing nines is funny.
"No, I'm not in Whitney Point. I'm actually," I swallow hard and stare down at my coffee, "living with Tucker."
Inwardly I cringe, unable to make eye contact with Sadie.
"Tucker? Tucker Jameson?"
"Mm-hmm." I nod.
"Oh, how did that happen?"
I glance up at Sadie and take her in. She doesn't seem mad, so I say, "I was at a bar with Logan and Adalyn, drinking my sorrows away about not being able to find a place when I saw Tucker. He was by himself so I went over to see how he was doing. We got to talking, well, Adalyn actually let her big mouth flap and mentioned my homelessness, which spurred Tucker into offering me a room in his house. It wasn't my first option, it was my only option." I quickly add, "I'm sorry if-"
"Why are you sorry? You needed a place to stay."
"I don't know." Maybe because almost every waking minute of my days are spent daydreaming about your ex-boyfriend's lips on mine. "Just seems a little weird since you and Tucker were together for so long."