But the world had other plans.
The day after I signed the papers for this house, I got the call. My girl had woken up to blood; blood fucking everywhere.
Sadie miscarried. Lost our baby. I'd never felt such devastation in my life. Some might say I was too young to even realize the impact that had on my future, but fuck them. I've had to grow up pretty quickly in my life, and I've been adulting longer than some actual adults. I know what loss is, and that night, holding Sadie's hand in the hospital while they told us we'd lost the baby, that was loss. That was devastation. Crippling.
But nothing prepared me for the cataclysmic damage that would happen next. Nothing prepared me for seeing the girl of my dreams pull away mentally and physically. Nothing prepared me for the day I learned she was seeing someone else. And nothing prepared me for when Sadie moved on and began living her life with another fucking man.
I didn't just lose my baby. No, I lost my girl too. And fuck if I was ready for that.
She said we were growing apart before we lost the baby, that our relationship was hanging on by a thread, but I refuse to acknowledge that. In my mind, there was always hope for Sadie and me, she just gave up. On us. On me.
Now, I live in a house I despise, a house that reminds me of everything I came so close to having. Something I may never hold in my grasp.
It's like constantly coming home to a slideshow of devastation on replay. I fucking hate everything about this house. It represents loss. Darkness.
On a heavy sigh, I finish washing my body, turn off the shower, and towel off. Silence greets me as I sit on my bed, my head in my hands, trying to ease the tension building in the pit of my stomach.
So much fucking silence. Silence, a wife and baby should have smothered. Silence, a family-my family-would have filled, but is now possessed by a lonely, bitter fuck.
Me.
Tucker Jameson.
I couldn't despise myself more.
Chapter Three
EMMA
"Three Old Fashioneds, heavy on the booze," I call out to the bartender. I take a seat at the bar in The House of Reardon, a bar we frequent when we don't want to be caught up in the college life in downtown Binghamton and just want a peaceful drink.
"Three?" Logan asks. He strips off his jacket and hangs it on the back of his chair.
"Adalyn is going to meet us here."
"I thought she had to babysit her niece tonight."
"Niece got the flu. Adalyn wanted nothing to do with that and I don't blame her, especially since we already have to be around a disease pit on a daily basis." I pull out my phone and start searching through my emails, hoping and praying for any kind of news on apartments.
"Hey, guys." Adalyn sits next to Logan just as the bartender sets down our glasses. Logan hands the man his card to open a tab. He always insists on paying for our drinks since he saves mad money on rent, but Adalyn and I never leave the bar without slipping cash in his pockets. He never mentions it so either he pretends we never pay him, or he is beyond clueless and thinks his pockets grow money.
"Hey, Adalyn," I mumble, not looking up from my phone. Rejection after rejection email hits me. "Ugh." I black out my phone and rest it on the bar. "I'm never going to find a place. It's official. I'm going to be homeless. Any luck on your end?" I ask Adalyn. We split up inquiries to help each other out with our workloads.
Adalyn shakes her head, but there is something in her eyes that says otherwise. I've known Adalyn for a while now, so I know when she's lying because she does this thing with her lips where she presses them up toward her nose. Rather odd quirk actually.
"What aren't you telling me?"
Adalyn takes a sip of her drink and then sets it back down on the bar. She holds her glass with both hands and stares at the liquid as she speaks. "I haven't found anywhere for us to live." She swallows hard. "But my sister offered me space in her basement for the rest of the semester." Apology is written all over her face as she turns to me. "If there was more room, I would say you could stay with me, Emma, but the room is already the size of a closet and if it wasn't free, I would turn her down so we could find a place together but . . . it's free."
My hearts falls to the sticky floor of the bar. Great. Adalyn has a place to live and honestly, I can't even be mad at her. If I had the same opportunity, I would be saying yes before I could even blink in surprise from the offer.
"I'm sorry," she says. "I'm going to help you find a place though, I promise."
"It's okay." I sigh and lean back in my chair. "You don't need to apologize, Adalyn. That's one hell of an opportunity. You can save so much money until we graduate. I would be mad at you if you didn't take it."