My Best Friend's Ex(59)

"Emma, please look at me."

"Just go, Tucker. Let's not make something of this, okay?"

Fuck that. Even though I'm battling with relationship demons, there is a comfort within Emma I'm craving, that I need to get lost in, that I desperately want to soak in.

"Turn toward me." It's a demand, not a request, and from the way she slightly shifts on the bed, she hears the seriousness in my voice.

When her wet eyes meet mine, a feeling of utter turmoil hits me straight in the gut. I should have known from the beginning if I was going to pursue this, I was going to have to dive in, not fucking tippy-toe my way around whatever electric energy is surrounding us. I did this to her. Once again, I need to fix this. She is worth it.

Gently, I place my hand on her wet cheek and brush away the tears coating her beautiful face. "Scoot over."

"Can you just go?" More tears stream down her face, her lip quivering with each word.

"I'm not going to ask again, Emma, scoot over."

Her eyes bounce back and forth while looking at mine before she shifts to the side, making room for me. Taking charge, I lie down next to her and pull her into my chest so she's resting her head on my shoulder and my arm is wrapped around her, playing with the thin fabric of her pajama shirt.

Immediately, I can feel her tears on my bare skin and it breaks me inside.

Taking a deep breath, I say, "I'm temporary breaking rule number six." I stroke her back with my fingers, hopefully conveying the warmth I feel for her. "I haven't been with anyone other than Sadie. She's been it for me. You know that?" I gruffly clear my throat. "Until you walked back into my life." I run my spare hand over my face, nerves tickling my spine. "This is new to me, Emma, being attracted to someone else, and I mean attracted enough where I think about you constantly. For so long, I'd just believed I would end up with Sadie, that we would have a family together, living in this house, growing old together. But I think we both know that's not going to happen. No. We both know it's not going to happen. So I have to switch gears and it's been fucking hard. I need to learn to be okay with that, and I think I will."



       
         
       
        

I take a second to gather my thoughts, gathering strength from Emma who now has her arm wrapped around my stomach. How does she know how to hold me in a way that comforts me so well?

"But, I want this, Emma. I want your arms around me, your lips on mine, your body tangled in my sheets, naked next to me. We just have to go slow, despite how much my dick thinks differently. My mind has to catch up." I want this. I want her.

Emma draws little circles on my chest as she speaks, "This is new for me too, Tucker. These feelings. I don't think I've been so attracted to someone before in my entire life."

"Not even the man-nurse?" I can't help it, I have to ask.

"Man-" Emma pushes up to look at me, the sorrow gone from her eyes. "Are you talking about Logan?"

"Yeah. You're not itching to have him give you a one-on-one check-up?"

Laughter boils up out of Emma's mouth as she shakes her head. "No. I mean we tried at one point but it never worked out. We're just friends."

"Nah." I shake my head. "You think you're just friends but he so wants to fuck you."

"No, he doesn't," Emma states in defense with such surety in her voice. It's cute. Women can be clueless about men sometimes.

"Babe, he does. It's all in his eyes."

"You don't know that."

"To hell I don't. He wants you. I know this because it's the same look in my eyes when you're around."

Swallowing hard, she stares at me for a few seconds before laying her head back on my chest. "Well, that's neither here nor there."

I chuckle and grip her tight. "I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean to make you feel inadequate or embarrassed. It's just . . . fuck." I wish I knew how to say this right. "When I gave in to the yearning that's been eating me alive over the last few weeks, I lost it and it scared the ever-living fuck out of me. I don't want to lose you, but fuck me, do I want you."

Her fingers graze across my nipple, the she-devil. "I want you, too, Tucker."

"Are you scared about our friendship? Of what might happen?"

Not answering right away, silence falls between us before she shakes her head against my shoulder. "No, I'm more worried about what Sadie might think."

Sadie?

"Why?" Why the hell does she care what she thinks?

"Tucker, she's one of my best friends and I just made out with her ex in the kitchen of the house we're rooming together in. I'm now cuddling with her ex. That's not very best friend like." Her hand pauses on my stomach and then goes to her forehead where she grips it with concern. "Oh God, what is she going to think? She's going to disown me."