"How bad is it?"
"It's so bad that I want to stick my pinky finger in his pee hole and say, 'goochey goo, I want you.' "
Adalyn howls in laughter at my expense, her hand clamping over her stomach. "Oh my God. Please do that. I will give you a hundred dollars just to see you stick your finger in his pee hole."
"Never. I would never ever do that, even though the urge is strong." Taking a deep breath, I sit up and hold one of my throw pillows to my chest. "I just need to focus on the task at hand. School, graduating, and finding a job. That's all. I can do this."
Adalyn starts to gather her items and stands while slinging her bag over her shoulder. "Yeah, good luck with that, Emma. I know if it were me, I would be in that man's bed faster than you can blink. But that's just me."
That is just her. She hasn't had many years of history with the boy Tucker. She didn't watch him drool over her best friend for years, or then watch him mourn when things ended. She didn't know the boy who was so lost and alone when his father died, who desperately needed loving. She didn't see the empty expression in his eyes the day he showed her his house, or experience the elation of watching her expression when he'd spoiled her with coffee mugs and a couch. Yes, I want to have sex with Tucker, but there are strings we're balancing on.
Shrugging, she heads to the door and calls out, "See you tomorrow, sweet cheeks. Try to get some sleep, if you can." She wiggles her eyebrows and takes off.
Get some sleep, ha! The only way I know I'll get any sleep is if I pull out my little vibrating friend, take care of the thick-dick images in my head, and then pop Tylenol PM down the gullet.
I'm abut to change for the night when my phone chimes. I see the name displayed on the front and groan. Just what I need.
Sadie: Hey girl! I miss you!
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
When was the last time I talked to Sadie? I can't even remember, before I moved in with Tucker, that's for damn sure.
Swallowing hard, I reply.
Emma: Hey Sadie, I miss you too.
There, short and simple. Nothing incriminating. Nothing that says, "I know we're best friends and all, but hey, I'm living with your ex-boyfriend and I can't stop lusting after him, to the point that if I slipped and fell, my mouth landing on his penis, I would probably start sucking."
Sadie: Can we get together soon. We need to catch up. We haven't talked in so long, I feel like a piece of me is missing.
Sweat starts to coat my upper lip as guilt reins down upon me. What would she think if I told her how I was feeling, if she knew I was dreaming about Tucker. She would hate me, I just know it. Tucker was such a big part of her life and for me to step in on her territory, it almost seems unforgiveable.
Emma: I would love to get together. Just let me know the time and place.
I really don't want to see her which is sad because she's one of my favorite people, but I'm not sure how much I can hide from her. She reads me like a book and she will see right through my wall.
Sadie: Perfect! I will text you tomorrow about a day. Maybe we can grab coffee.
Emma: Sounds great.
Yeah, sounds great. Not really, but I can't avoid her, she will know something is up.
Tense and uncomfortable more than ever, I change into my favorite deep purple plaid pajama set, tie my hair into a messy bun on the top of my head, and put some lotion on my hands. I can do this. Of course Tucker is gorgeous, but am I really that undisciplined I can't live with him in the same house and not think about him? No, I have self-control. I'm an adult for fuck's sake. I can handle my yearning with dignity. I can stop lusting after this man, this man that belongs to someone else.
Puffing my chest out with my head held high, I open my bedroom door just as the bathroom door opens as well. Billowing steam pours out of the doorway, the bright bathroom light reflects off the pink of the flamingos, casting an angelic type haze over Tucker as he walks out into the hallway, dewy, dreamy, and wearing nothing but a low-slung towel. My heart seizes in my chest, my thighs clench together as I take in his damp, messy hair, his freshly shaved face, and the little droplets running down his chest to the edge of his towel that is barely covering thick dick.
"Oh my God," I drawl out. And it isn't until Tucker wickedly grins at me that I realize I said that out loud. Okay, maybe I have ZERO self-control.
"You okay there, babe? You look a little flush."
I nervously laugh, probably one of the ugliest laughs I've ever heard come out of my mouth. "Oh yup. You know . . . uh, oh my God," I move my hands around, trying to act casual but not pulling it off at all, "Look at all that steam. Ever heard of a fan?"