I shake my head. "No, I think what you said actually held some weight."
"Really?" He doesn't sound happy, more sad than anything. What the?
"Yeah. I don't think he was ready to really hand his heart over. I don't think he was using me as a distraction. I do think he cared for me, but I could tell he wasn't ready, and honestly, I don't think I'm strong enough to wait around for him to love me."
"Do you love him?"
I lean my head against Logan's shoulder as a stray tear falls down my cheek. "Yeah, I do. I don't think there was any choice in the matter for me. My soul connected with his and I fell for him." I fell hard. "Despite knowing the whole time there was a roadblock between us. I just thought we'd be able to get over it. But I was wrong."
"Did you break up with him?" I nod. "Were you protecting yourself?" I nod again. "So where does he stand in all of this? What did he say? Did he accept the breakup and move on? Or did he put up a fight?"
That night has been on replay in my head for weeks. I can see it playing out so easily, remember everything said. The sound of his voice as he shut my door, the hope I felt . . . The hope then squashed by his silence.
"It seemed like he was putting up a fight. I didn't think he'd accept my decision, but I haven't heard from him in weeks."
"What do you mean? Don't you share a house?"
"He's been in Pittsburg training for three weeks." My voice hiccups on me.
"Oh." Logan is silent, taking a moment to process what I said. He brings his coffee to his lips and takes a drink before saying, "But he sounded like he wasn't giving up?"
"That's how it seemed when I broke things off. But I haven't heard from him. I think it's over." And admitting that hurts more than when I was trying to save my heart.
"You don't know that for sure."
"Logan. I'm not going to be wishful here. If he cared, he would have contacted me by now. I'm done." It hurts to hope. I stand and brush my bottom off before turning to him. "Ready? Adalyn is going to be pissed if her coffee is cold."
"Yeah." He holds his coffee and Adalyn's as he puts his hand on the small of my back for a brief second, guiding me toward the library. "I don't think you should throw in the towel just yet."
"You're sweet, Logan, but I'm not holding on to any hope."
"I think you should."
"Why are you pushing this? According to Tucker, you want to fuck me, and would have sworn you would have swooped in by now," I tease, but I'm also curious to hear his answer.
"He thought that, did he?" Logan asks, a smile to his face as he takes a drink of his coffee. "Then I did my job."
"Did what job?"
"Made him feel threatened. Jealous. That right there tells me there is still hope, Emma. If he didn't care about you, he wouldn't have cared about me. But he cares."
"You made him jealous on purpose?"
He loops an arm around my shoulder and kisses the top of my head. It's funny how with Logan, when he does that, I feel cared for by an older brother. When Tucker kisses me like that, I feel treasured. No. I felt treasured. "I have to make sure my girl is taken care of. You're my best friend, Emma, and only the best man deserves you. So if I have to act territorial to see if he's willing to piss a circle around you, then I will do just that."
"Oh my God," I laugh. "You're such an ass."
"A caring ass." He winks over his coffee cup. "I expect the same kind of treatment from you."
I poke him in the side, putting a little distance between us. "Just you wait. Once you meet the girl for you, I'm going to make sure your life is a living nightmare."
"Come on, it wasn't that bad."
"He got defensive about you." That causes Logan to throw his head back and laugh. "It's not funny. He was really convinced you wanted to sleep with me."
He continues to laugh, drawing the attention from others around us. "Oh that's great. Man, Emma, he really fucking likes you because I wasn't even that bad."
I huff as I walk into the library. "I can't believe that's something guys do."
"Only the smart ones looking out for their girls. Now, tell me in detail everything he said about me."
I point my finger at him. "You're a dick."
"Come on, just give me a little something."
"No." We get to the table where Adalyn is studying and sit down. Logan hands her the coffee and she breathes it in before taking a long swig.