"All right," Mr. Harris says. "We're almost here. No reason to be afraid. We're just going to ask you some questions so we can decide what is the best thing to do next."
"Yes," I say. "I know that you don't understand us."
People walk up and down the streets. They cross in front of us staring in when we stop at the red light and maybe it's because of seeing a girl in a police car. The buildings all around are tall and full of windows. The car I'm in turns across the sidewalk and drives into, under a building and past many parked cars, most of them police cars and we circle around and finally stop at a lighted door. The first thing they do once I step out of the car is take away my pack with all my things in it.
The building is full of doors. Hallways full of closed doors where there are rooms I cannot see into. In the hallways there is nothing but adults. The floors are hard and the air smells like chemicals. I sneeze and no one blesses me.
"My name is Jean," Miss Jean Bauer says. "You can call me Jean. I work with Jim. Mr. Harris."
She has a stripe of gray hair in front but she is not old. She is only a little taller than me and she wears a white jacket with her name on it in red thread. All different colored pens are in the pocket of her jacket.
"Is Mr. Harris your boss?" I say.
"No," she says. "We work together. We just thought it would be easier for you to talk to me, maybe. But if you want to talk with him you can."
"That's all right," I say, but I'm not angry with Mr. Harris. He doesn't know any better. He doesn't understand. There is never a reason not to be polite, I know. To let someone make you angry is always a mistake. I remember this. I can tell that this building is a place to be careful.
"First we're going to have you take a shower," Miss Jean Bauer says, "and after that a quick checkup to see if you're all right and then we'll see how you're feeling. The shower is in here," she says, opening a door for me. "There's a towel and soap right there."
"You're going to watch me?" I say.
"No," she says. "I'll be back in five minutes. I'll wait right out here in the hall."
It is a large room with flickering lights. Most of it is full of gray metal lockers, some with round combination locks and some dented. There are benches made of wood and metal. The first thing I do is circle the whole room. There is one other door but it is locked closed. I decide to wait, to do what they say. Father could be close in this building. There are so many doors, so many rooms.
It is not just one shower but almost a little room with ten showers sticking out of the tiled walls and the floor is tile too with metal drains in it. There's water drops under one shower and I decide that's where Father was, right before me. Whatever they want to do with us they want us to be very clean.
I want to turn all of the showers on at once but the handles are tight and my hands are small. The water is so hot and then I remember and turn the other handle to mix the cold. It's so different than in the forest park where usually we use a shower made out of a silver bag that we hang up high in a tree so the water gets warm and no one sees it. This is a ways from our camp, a good walk we walk carrying our clean clothes. We bring the shower down with me usually climbing the tree and there is gallons of water but it goes fast. So first we strip down and turn it on enough to get wet, second we soap up, third we rinse off. Twice a week or less in the winter when it's cold. In the summer sometimes we use the water cold. Sometimes when it rains we find a place where the trees aren't thick and we strip down there and soap up and rinse off in the hard rain.
It is so different in the building, in the tiled room with ten showers. The water keeps coming and coming, never running out and through it I can hear someone calling my name. I step out of the water coming down with water still in my ears.
"Finish up," Miss Jean Bauer says from where I can't see her. "It's been ten minutes."
The towel is so soft and when I get back to my clothes my clothes are gone and on a hanger is a dress that has only two ties and is made of paper.
"Where are my things?" I say. "I need a comb. Where's Randy?"
"Who's Randy?" Miss Jean Bauer says. "Just put on that robe; I'll give you clothes after what we do next."
"What am I going to do next?" I say.
She bends down a little to look at my face. "How are you holding up?" she says.
"What do you mean?" I say.
"Aren't you tired? You must be exhausted."
"Why?" I say. "I've hardly done anything at all today."
She asks if it's all right if she stays in the room once we've reached the Doctor's room and then stands there with a clipboard sometimes writing and sometimes listening.