Mr.arrogant(19)

He felt more alive than he ever had, he felt like the flames of life had  finally touched him and awoken him, and he felt a desire for her that  he had not known could exist. He also knew that she did not want him the  way that he wanted her, and that she never would. He knew that he had  to respect her and he had to respect their friendship and their working  relationship, and let his desires stay hidden deep within him. He knew  if he was going to do anything to fix what he had done to them, he had  to do it right away, and it had to be genuine.

Naomi couldn't believe she was hearing him apologize. She felt certain  that he had probably not apologized to any of the women who had worked  for him, that he'd been with, and the significance of his effort and the  vulnerability in which he placed himself before her was not lost on  her. She didn't know quite what to say.

Her thoughts turned in her mind like a leaf flipping and skittering  along the ground and through the air. He was apologizing for kissing  her. She knew then that there was nothing in him that wanted her. There  was no romantic interest in him whatsoever for her, and she realized  that all of her suppositions about him and his intentions with her had  been wrong.

He had been trying to be her employer and her friend, and she had been  misreading everything that had passed between them. Every moment, every  touch, every lingering glance; all of it had only been felt by her. She  felt a surge of shame flush through her. She knew that she had been a  fool all over again, thinking over the prior two days that he had any  interest in her whatsoever and that he had kissed her because he had  been attracted to her. He wanted her for something more than what she  really was to him, and that was an employee and a friend.

She crossed her arms over her chest and lifted her eyes to meet his. She  nodded slightly and hugged herself. "Thank you for the apology and the  explanation."

He stomach tightened as he watched her and he had to stop himself from  reaching out to hug her. He felt sure that she must have regretted their  embrace and kiss. She hadn't said anything to the contrary, but instead  had thanked him for apologizing for doing it. He knew then that he  never should have done it, no matter how much he had wanted to.

"Will you be coming back to work tomorrow?" he asked hesitantly, hoping  with everything in him that she would; both so that he could see her and  be around her, and to assuage his guilt over kissing her. He felt that  if she returned, they could begin to repair what he had broken and move  forward, and he wanted that with her desperately.

She tried to still all of the emotion churning in her, and focus on what  Andrea had told her. She pushed herself hard and concentrated on the  one thing that should matter more than any of the other thoughts going  through her mind; work. She was trying to re-center herself on her goals  and dreams and to let go of her feelings for him. The thing she could  allow in her heart was turmoil. She drew breath into her body as far as  she could, feeling it still her somewhat, and she nodded at him.

"I'll be there tomorrow." She made herself look up at him when she  spoke, though she felt as if there was no part of her body that was not  tensed with anxiety.         

     



 

He was quiet a moment and then gave her a small smile. "Well, great! It  will be good to have you back." He wanted to say more. He wanted to say  so much more to her, but she looked defensive, and she looked withdrawn,  and he didn't want to try to push her too far.

Getting her back into the office and around him was the first step.  Fixing what he had broken between them by kissing her was the second  step. Then he would rebuild their friendship and do his best to keep it  strong.

"I guess I should let you get some rest so you'll be ready for tomorrow  then," he said quietly as the corners of his mouth turned up slightly.  "I am really glad that you'll be back." He told her, and then he turned  and walked from the kitchen, heading to the front door.

She watched him leaving and felt like part of her was going with him.  "Thank you for being so thoughtful and for bringing all of this over for  me. You didn't have to do that." She smiled back a little. His  thoughtfulness had touched her.

He nodded at her as he opened the door. "I did have to do that. I wanted  to take care of the lady who takes such good care of me." He answered  her, and then closed the door behind him and she was left with a change  of heart.

His action had been one of thoughtfulness and kindness, and she was able  to see it that way, and to use it as a means to move further toward  being his friend, rather than thinking of him with the love in her heart  that she felt. She didn't know how she would let go of her romantic  emotion for him, but looking at him as a friend, and letting herself  feel that for him because of the way he was with her was a good start.

She slept a bit better that night than she had since he had kissed her;  her mind and heart somewhat more at ease. She dreamed of him, and in her  dreams he was close to her, so close that he came to her and held her,  kissing her again. When she woke she realized that it was nothing but a  dream, though it had felt much more real to her than that.



Naomi readied herself for work, slipping into a soft white dress that  was loose but still hinted at her curves. She wanted to appear  professional while still being feminine. Matched with heels and pearls,  she felt confident and ready to go back to the office. . She tied her  hair at the back of her neck and headed out of the apartment to try to  get her life back in order again.

When she arrived at the work, she was early and as she poured herself a  cup of coffee, she decided to pour one for Jonathon as well, and she  left it on his desk with no note. It was an effort, though a small one,  at reestablishing their friendship. She wanted more than anything to  move forward into that friendship with him, and to fall out of love with  him as swiftly as she could, to eliminate the aching need and painful  desires in her heart.

She was seated at her desk when he came in, and shortly after he went  into his office, she received an email from him, thanking him for the  coffee. An hour after that, she was greeted by a delivery man who  brought her a bouquet of pretty flowers. It wasn't a large bouquet, but  midsized, and all of the flowers were bright and pretty.

There was a note amongst them that read, "Glad to have you back in the  office" and that was it. She told herself that the gesture was one of a  friend, and was precisely what she needed to be to him. She sent him an  email thanking him for the bouquet.

They were careful around each other all day; both of them being more  polite than usual, both of them keeping a slight distance from one  another and both of them only talking about business. By the time she  went home that afternoon, Naomi felt as though it might not be an  impossible task to work hard at the friendship and still manage to fall  out of love with Jonathon at the same time.

The second day she was back, they were still careful, but he watched her  closely, and she felt his eyes on her. When she felt them, she would  turn and look over her shoulder and their gazes would meet. He did not  turn away from her or look at anywhere else, he kept his green eyes  connected to her light blue ones, and it would make her breath catch in  her chest.

She promised herself that she would not feel the connection, but there  was no real way for her to stop it: it was there, and it was strong. But  she was stronger than their chemistry, and she would break its hold on  her.         

     



 

He came to her desk to go over files on the computer, and as he stood  behind her and leaned over her, reaching to the monitor to discuss  different pages, he would lean too close, and she could breathe in his  cologne and the scent of his skin. She could feel his strong arm so near  her as he reached over her shoulder. All she wanted to do was to turn  towards him, put her lips on his neck and cheek, and feel his arms  around her. But she steeled herself and made herself focus on the  computer. She did not breathe deeply until he left her, and when he did  finally leave her, she had to take a break and go outside to get some  fresh air and steady herself from the embers that were burning white hot  in her.

By the time she went home that day, she was mentally exhausted, and she  rested deeply, but not well, for he was still in her dreams, still  reaching for her and kissing her. It seemed that the more dreams she  had, the closer he got to her. It made her struggle to focus on their  friendship so much more difficult, but she was determined to do it, and  failure at succeeding in it was not an option for her.

She continued to try to keep her distance from him at work, while  busying herself with all of her projects and tasks. Part of the time it  worked for her, and she was able to distract herself enough that he  wasn't on her mind as much. The remainder of the time, he was either in  the forefront of her thoughts and she could not get him from her mind,  or he was in her presence, and it was all she could do to focus on  anything but him. Anything but the proximity of him, or the way he  watched her, the way he listened to her, the way he smelled or looked,  or the way that he made her feel when he stood near her.