She gave him a sympathetic smile and he waved and turned back toward his own room, trying not to listen to her walking to the elevator, and yet walking slow enough that the elevator doors closed before he reached his room.
As Naomi waited for the elevator doors to close, she watched him walk away and everything in her began to ache for him. She wanted to open the elevator doors back up, and then she wanted to run down the hall to him and wrap him in her arms as tightly as she could, but she knew that he didn't feel that way about her, and she could not jeopardize her job or their working relationship.
She felt like her heart was expanding with sadness and need far beyond any capacity that she was able to handle, and she closed her eyes, willing herself to breathe normally and to let go of the ache and need that she felt for her boss.
The feelings in her chest that were constricting her would not stop, and it was in that moment that she realized that she was falling for him, and that the emotion in her ran much deeper than a crush. It was much stronger than anything she had ever felt for anyone before, and she knew that there was no way to stem it, and no way in the world to stop it.
A hot tear escaped her closed eyes and the elevator doors opened to the hotel lobby.
* **
Jonathon spent a sleepless night trying to distract himself from thinking about Naomi being out with Shane. He tried to keep away the mental images of her in her vanilla colored sweater dress and thoughts of the heated moment when they had met in her doorway. More than anything, he had wanted to reach out to her and pull her to him in that moment; kiss her, taste her, and feel her body against his, but he had held himself back, and the moment had passed. Try as he might, she would not leave his mind and nothing he did could get her out of his thoughts.
Naomi showered and dressed in the morning, packed her bag, and waited in the lobby of the hotel for Jonathon to come down. She noticed how tired he looked when she saw him, and she wondered what he had been up to the night before. Considering his reputation and that he was out of town, there was no telling what he had been up last night, she thought. She felt a stab of jealousy touch her heart, and she pushed it away.
He was her boss. That was it. There was nothing between them and there never would be, so there was no reason for her to be jealous. She smiled at him as he greeted her, and they got into the car together and neither one of them spoke about her date the night before. Their conversation stayed on the topic of the business meeting and the hopes they shared of making their plans for Anthony's business a success.
They traveled back to Manhattan and Naomi felt her heart tug when they waved goodbye at the airport, both of them getting into different vehicles and going back to their lives. Things had changed between them and she knew that they would not be the same again.
She gave serious consideration as to what it meant to her to love, or to feel strongly for someone and for that person to be important to her. She could not give a name to the feelings she had; she didn't know just what it was that she was feeling for Jonathon; she only knew that it was powerful, and that there was no way for her to stop it.
She also knew that there was no way that it could go forward, and that left her in a strange place. It left her in the position of only being able to be a friend to him. Her options were limited, and all that she felt she could do was to show him how much he meant to her by being a good friend to him.
The next morning when she got to the office, she poured coffee for him and prepared it the way that she knew he liked it, and she left it on his desk with a little note. On the note she drew a happy face and wrote ‘Ivy League coffee' on the paper.
When Jonathon came in a few minutes later, he was more than surprised to see it, and it made him laugh. He wanted to thank her for it, but he realized that he should let it pass without comment. He realized that she was making a gesture of concession and friendship to him. As much as it pained him to know that friendship was all he could have with her, he also knew that if that was all he could have, he would take it. As long as he had some part of her, no matter what part of her it was.
A short while later, she was sitting at her desk when a delivery arrived for her, and she was stunned when the delivery man brought in a massive bouquet of flowers. It was filled with what seemed like every color of blossom that there was, in so many different shapes and sizes, and every one of them was beautiful in its own way, but together they all made a perfect arrangement.
There was a note attached to it, and when she opened it, it made her gasp and she covered her lips with the tips of her fingers. Her heart skipped a beat as her eyes moved over the words. ‘With genuine gratitude for all of the hard work you do, you are so appreciated. Jonathon.'
She thanked the delivery man and set the flowers on the back corner of her desk where they took up most of the area. Their scent filled the room and as she typed out a thank you message to him in an email, she found herself smiling widely as happiness filled her heart.
Naomi felt so deeply that she wanted more from him, but she knew that it would have to be enough to share a friendship with him. As she gazed at the flowers again, she knew that their friendship was going to be a good one, and it would never be enough for her, but it was something, and she would take something over nothing any day.
*
Chapter4
The days passed and as each one slipped by, Naomi and Jonathon both found ways to express their care for one another without letting their true feelings be known. Each of them was well aware of the boundaries they were locked into; borders of a working environment, an employer and an employee, and both of them knew that the other did not share the feelings of longing that they felt for each other.
Jonathon called Naomi into his office one morning about two weeks after their out-of-town business trip, and he made himself look away from her when she walked into the room. He'd had to develop behaviors that made working near her easier on him. Watching her walk or move was something that stirred a deep heat in him, and so he looked away whenever she was around him. It was hard for him to focus on other things, but he did it in order to keep his own desires under control and to make her feel comfortable around him.
She sat down opposite him at his desk and he looked up at her and smiled. She smiled back and it sent a wave of warmth and longing through him. He cleared his throat and set his hands on his desk.
"My father is co-hosting a business luncheon with a friend of his this weekend, and I wanted to ask you to attend it with me. There will be several people there that we work with, both within this company and from other companies, and I've invited Anthony Bryan, so it would be a good chance for us to talk with him again in person. Do you think you'll be able to make it?" He asked her with high hopes.
He had discovered that any time they were out of the office environment together, she seemed more relaxed around him, and he felt like he was able to be with her as she really was, rather than being with her in her capacity as his administrative assistant in the confines of the office.
She watched him and saw the look of hope in his eyes, and she felt that she would have given him the moon if he had asked her for it, but she would not let herself show him that. She nodded lightly and gave him a smile.
"Of course, I don't have any big plans this Saturday. I can come. Thank you for letting me know about it." She told him as she watched relief come over his face.
"I'll send a car for you to your apartment. You'll want to dress up a little. It's casual, but it's business casual and weather permitting, it will be partly outside." Happiness surged through him upon hearing that she would be there. He could not stop the thoughts that began to go through his mind about the two of them attending the function together and his imagination budded with scenarios he could only wish for in his heart.
Naomi watched as the smile on his face widened, and it made her happy to know that he wanted her there with him and that she would be by his side for the event. She felt important to him, as though he needed her there, and feeling needed by him warmed her heart.
Saturday morning arrived and Naomi took special care in readying herself that day. She wore a slim fitting black skirt and a light blue sweater that brought out the varying hues of sky blue in her eyes. She pulled her long curls up and wore them loose at the back of her head, and she used her makeup to accent her eyes, her lips, and the arch of her cheekbones. She pulled on a pair of heels and wore the pearls that she had worn the day of her interview with Cross Corp.
After a careful assessment in the mirror, she gave herself a smile of approval and was just getting her coat when the car arrived for her. She thought about being with Jonathon at the event, feeling as if her being there with him was quite possibly the closest thing she would ever have to a date with him. She wanted to look the part of his date, even if it wasn't really that way. Business event or not, she would be spending the day with him by his side, and that filled her with joy.