This marriage is over. That’s for sure. But we’re not out of Michael’s crosshairs until we get this sorted. Lance and I can never be happy until I go do this.
All that doubt that I was feeling in the morning? As soon as I felt Lance’s strong arms hold me tightly against him, as soon as I felt his hard, cut body behind me, as soon as I thought about how much he loved me and stood by me while I figured this entire situation out, and yes, as soon as I felt that massive cock of his, I knew that I had to be in his life.#p#分页标题#e#
And there’s no way I can continue to be in his life if I don’t do this.
I take a giant sigh and walk to the podium.
Michael and Lance have gone over all the details. For the purposes of this press conference, Michael has felt it absolutely essential that Lance not be there while I speak.
“We need the media to focus on Jocelyn,” Michael apparently told Lance. “We have one chance to come clean and get them on our side. If it looks like we’re trying to play them, this could spiral out of control. And being there with her makes this whole thing look way more orchestrated than we want to let on.”
Of course, Michael was orchestrating this. Of course every detail had been gone over with painstaking detail. Literally, the election for mayor of the greatest city in the world is lying as the stakes.
“You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Lance asked this morning as we dressed. There had been a savage protectiveness to his lovemaking in the shower, as he bent me against the wall and took me from behind as the water pelted our bodies. “Or stand by you when you go on in front of the press?”
“Michael said it was for the best if neither of you guys…” I had started but Lance wouldn’t let me finish.
“Fuck what anyone else says, Jocelyn,” he cut me off. Then he brought his arms around me and made me take a step closer. “All that fucking matters to me in this whole world is you. Fuck everything else.”
Honestly, just him telling me that at that moment made me realize that no matter what, I had to be brave and get this done. Because this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. So what if he was 15 years younger than me? So what if he had been my stepson? All my life, I’d gone from man to man, being told how beautiful I was that I never really knew what it meant to be cared for by someone. Michael gave me neglect and contempt under a shield of status and power.
Lance gave me love. He gave me his body. And I wanted to give him my soul.
That’s literally all I’m thinking about as I get onto the podium. How after this, I want to go bury my face in Lance’s chest. How I’ll be able to do that without having to worry.
Maybe we’ll get some lunch at The Spotted Pig. I hear they make a great burger. Maybe after that some shopping. Bergdorfs? No, I know just the place. Saks Fifth Avenue. Maybe we could go back to the dressing room where it all started…
The flash of a photographer brings me back down to the here and now. I need to focus. There won’t be any lunch with Lance if I don’t do this. There won’t be any dressing room shenanigans if I mess it up.
“Thank you for coming today, ladies and gentlemen,” I say, looking down at the prepared notes I have. I’ve memorized them, but it helps to look down. The press in the front grow silent. I can see a large crowd assembled behind them. Ordinary New Yorkers, coming to see what the big deal is. Hoping to find a moment in history. I continue. “I will have a prepared statement, after which I will take any questions from the media.”
More photographs. People must be speculating what I’m going to say. Well, I’m about to drop it. I wonder who will be left after the dust clears.
“As many of you know, I’ve recently found out and am overjoyed by the fact that I am pregnant,” I say into the microphone and take a deep breath. “Despite reports and statements made to the press, I am here today to set the record straight. Michael Anders is not the father of my child.”
If I had told them that I was a Martian who had been secretly gathering data about the human race in preparation for a future invasion, people may have looked less stunned.#p#分页标题#e#
In fact, there’s maybe a second or two where the photographers are too stunned to do anything but look at me. Of course the cameras are rolling, but the flash bulbs literally die down.
And then they come back. With a vengeance.
It seems like the brightness of a thousand suns descends onto the steps of City Hall as the photographers furiously begin to take pictures. I can hear the reporters right behind the photographers decide to dispense with my earlier rules and shout out questions. I feel overwhelmed.