Mr. Fiancé(43)

Mindy has on a sundress, a cute little light blue thing that hugs her body. She looks beautiful in it, flirty and sexy with just the right amount of skin showing. I have a fleeting memory of the way those arms clung to me last night, and I have to take a few deep breaths before I can continue.

“Remember,” I tell her before we step in the dining room. “Act normal. Anyone asks, we let Bertha out to do her business in the middle of the night.”

“I’m not sure that’ll be believable,” she says before I open the door. With the magic of a natural actress, her face lifts and she puts on a big smile and her voice lifts cheerfully. “Good morning, Mother!”

Everyone is in the dining room for once, with Uncle Charles slouched over a big bowl of what looks like Lucky Charms and looking like death warmed over, while the rest of the family at least looks like they’re enjoying the good food the kitchen has to offer. Mindy goes in, giving her grandmother a kiss on the cheek, then her mom.

“Y’all look good this morning,” Mary Jo says, her eyes sparkling as she takes us in. “You certainly got up on the right side of the bed this morning.”

She most certainly did. On my side.

“Thank you!” Mindy chirps, and I feel a tremor inside. “You look good too, Mom. Everyone’s looking happy this morning. Except Uncle Charles, but at least you got some early morning swag going on with that getup.”

Rita gives her niece a look. “Swag? You are blind, girl. More like sag.”

I nudge Mindy a little. I told her to act normal, not try to distract by overcompensating.

Thankfully, Mindy takes my nudge and shuts up, still smiling. “You sure are happy this morning,” Roxy remarks. “You guys must have really rocked the boat last night. Nice job, Captain Oliver. I’m so jealous. I’m about to go down to the beach and find me a nice cabana boy.”

I love how this family just rolls with all of Roxy’s antics, paying her no mind. I guess after both Mindy and Roxy, they’re used to it. John’s certainly adapted quickly.

“Hey, Oliver, let’s make sure Mary Jo’s got us cleared for free time,” John says from the front of the table. “I’d love to give you more rides in my pride and joy. My Honey’s to-do list is longer than what I get some days at the office.”

“I’m not that bad,” Mary Jo says. “I’m just . . .”

Suddenly, Mary Jo stops mid-sentence and glances around. “Where’s Bertha?”

“Hopefully, stuck on a beach raft and floating away in the ocean,” Ivy Jo mutters.

“I gave her to Mindy and Oliver last night so she could sleep with them,” Roxy says, looking over at us.

Mindy glances at me, but I’m already on it.

“We let her out in the middle of the night. She was clawing at the door and whining,” I say smoothly.

“Well then, where is she?” Mary Jo asks, worried. “She never misses breakfast.”

“Calm down, Mary Jo,” John says. “She’s probably just playing in the garden like she did when she got out over St. Paddy’s Day, remember?”

She ignores him. “Bertha!” she calls, “Where are you, honey?”

“Act normal,” I whisper in Mindy’s ear. I can see the nervousness on her face. “Mary Jo, Mindy and I will find her after breakfast. Don’t worry, I’m sure she’s around here somewhere.”

It settles her enough, and we finish our breakfast in peace. After we’re done, Mindy and I go to our room, trying not to practically run. Bertha’s still there, her tail flapping around. That’s a good sign at least.

Mindy picks her up and tries to cover her with a blanket, but Bertha hates it and squirms so much that I’m worried she’ll raise a fuss if we insist. Finally, I grab a towel and throw it over my shoulder, taking Bertha and holding her in my arms so that the towel lies over her and mostly obscures her.

“Let’s go,” I say. “You take the lead.”

I feel fucking ridiculous trying to sneak out of the house with a little dog. But still, this shit is funny, and I can’t help it, I start humming the Mission: Impossible theme under my breath as we make our way down the stairs. We’re clear all the way to the back lawn when Roxy’s suddenly on our ass.

“Hey guys! You guys . . .”

I try to hide Bertha, but the dog lets out a little bark, alerting Roxy, and she stops, smiling for a moment before giving us a suspicious look. “Bertha! Mom has been looking all over for her.”

“We found her. Taking her for a walk,” Mindy says, hoping to end the conversation.

“Can I come?” Roxy asks excitedly, seeming to ignore the fact that I’m carrying Bertha.