“No, no. Not at all. And take your time. I’ll bring them to dinner with me, no problem.”
“Wow. Thanks, Thatch!”
She didn’t know what I knew, but in reality, she was thanking me for losing man’s best friend. Fuck me sideways, I was an asshole.
“Oh, yeah. Of course.” I nearly choked on the words.
“But I kind of miss their sweet faces. Do you think you could let me FaceTime with them real quick?”
“FaceTime?” I asked, trying to tamp down the panic.
“Yeah. I’ll call you back right now.”
“Wait! Uh…Georgia?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve actually got my hands full. Maybe you can just hop on the phone and say hello? Evie’s right here.”
“Evie can’t actually speak, Thatch.”
“Really?” I teased. “Then who have I been having an in-depth conversation with about The Carbonaro Effect?”
“I’m guessing yourself.”
“Oh, well. I guess she can’t say hi then. Julia’s here, though. You want to say hi to her while I’ve got you on the phone?”
“Yes!”
“Okay, hold on a sec.”
I covered the microphone and got down close to Julia. “Hey, sweetie. Your mommy wants to talk to you.”
“Yay!” she squeaked, reaching for the phone. I pulled it away slightly.
“But let’s not say anything about playing hide-and-seek for Stan, okay?” I whispered.
Her tiny eyebrows squished together, but Ace nodded his support, saying, “Yeah, we don’t say anything to Daddio or your mommy.”
“Don’t say anything to Daddio?” I muttered as Julia snagged the phone from my hand. “Ace, what did you say?”
His eyes widened. “Nothing.”
“Ace, if you know something about where Stan is, you have to tell me,” I whispered so my voice wouldn’t carry over the phone.
He shook his head, but his eyes did the crazy crossing thing they did when he was lying. He’d mastered the game pretty well, but when faced with a direct question, he almost always broke.
“Ace, tell Daddy what you know. This is very serious.”
“Mommy! Can we get another dog?” Julia asked. “Cause Stan’s—”
I reached out and snagged the phone, putting it back to my ear while I covered Julia’s mouth. “Oh, shoot, G. She took off. You know kids, running away mid-sentence.”
“Lia!” Ace yelled. “Fuck!”
Oh, shit.
“Did he just say fuck?” I heard in the background, in what I could have sworn was my wife’s voice. My wife, who was supposedly still at work.
Something was smelling fishier and fishier by the motherfluffing minute.
“Is Cassie there?” I asked outright.
“Uh…no,” Georgia mumbled. So, basically, yes.
Mm-hmm. Just as I suspected.
“Did she get off of work early?”
Georgia giggled nervously. “She’s not here, Thatch.”
Cassie not at work, Georgia calling and asking prying questions—also not at work—and a fucking tractor-trailer-size dog vanishing, from the bedside of the baby he loves, without a trace.
My eyes narrowed. I had a feeling I wasn’t the villain I thought I was in this scenario, but I wouldn’t rest until I was sure.
“Okay. I must be imagining her,” I excused. “I just miss her when she works on weekends.”
“Aww,” Georgia mooned. “That’s…God, that’s so sweet.”
There. She was sufficiently buttered and ready to motherfluffing crack. Now I just had to leave her hanging.
“It is, isn’t it? Anyway, tell my wife I love her.”
“Thatch, Cassie isn’t—”
“Talk soon, Georgie. Buh-bye now.”
“Do you think he knows?” Georgia asked, and I shrugged.
“Probably not.” Honestly, I wasn’t sure. My husband had a knack for sniffing out a prank. It was a skill he’d honed after years of setting up his own entertaining schemes—a mutual interest that actually brought us together in the first place.
And if I were him, yeah, I’d probably know something was up. A dog that was bigger than most teenage boys didn’t just up and disappear. Plus, my best friend, although I love her dearly, sucked goat cheese at lying. She’d basically given Thatch all of the clues in a few simple words.
“This is starting to stress me out.” She scrubbed a hand down her panicked face. “How in the hell do you guys manage to keep these going for more than a day?”
“Just relax,” I reassured. “Enjoy our day of shopping, and I’ll give Thatch a quick call to get the lay of the land.”