Most Eligible Baby Daddy(32)

Gris made to slap her again but this time, when he swung at her, she  blocked his hand. It was the first time she'd ever done anything like  that. He turned to look at her, surprised that she'd defended herself.  That was something she'd never had the nerve to do before. She had more  courage now.

"What's gotten into you?" Gris snarled.

Elle smiled back defiantly. "Forrester Snow. That's what."





Chapter 37

Elle

IT WAS GETTING LATE WHEN Gris pulled into a gas station on the side of  the road. Elle glanced at the gas gauge on the dashboard. They still had  half a tank.

"Why are you stopping?" she said.

He looked at her, and it was the first time since leaving him that she  could see him for who he really was. She'd spent so many years loving  him, that she hadn't seen his flaws before. He'd been a god to her.  After the childhood she'd had, having a man to stand up for her and  protect her held an almost irresistible appeal. She'd forgiven him all  his sins, all his shortcomings, and forced herself to love him.

She shouldn't have. Even at the time, she should have known better. He  didn't deserve her love. There were a million warning signs that another  girl would have picked up on. The way he was forceful with her in the  bedroom, it wasn't the kinky sort of play that she enjoyed, it was  aggressive and threatening. The way he never did little, kind things for  her. The way he lost his temper and got violent.                       
       
           



       

She'd always prayed that she'd one day have a guy who woke her up in the  morning before work, just to give her a kiss goodbye. Or who came home  from work in the evening with a little token of his love, some flowers, a  cupcake from the bakery, even a story about something that had happened  to him during the day.

But that wasn't the man she got. Gris had never done any of those  things. Not even at the very beginning. Elle knew now why she'd accepted  it. She'd read that people accept the love they think they deserve.  When she was younger, she'd believed that was all she deserved. It was  just a few short years ago, but she'd really suffered from low  self-esteem and didn't dare to believe that she deserved a man who  treated her the way she'd always wanted to be treated. So she'd accepted  what Gris had to offer her, which wasn't much.

She'd tried to make the most of it. She'd tried to give him so much love  and kindness that he turned around and started loving her back. But it  hadn't worked out that way. That's why she left. She'd finally found her  courage and gotten out of that situation.

The reason it took so long was because of fear. She'd have left far  sooner if she hadn't been so afraid of Gris. The first time he hit her,  she thought she was imagining it. She thought she was having a flashback  to her time with Los Lobos, or one of the foster homes she'd been  placed in after being rescued from Los Lobos by the authorities. But so  quickly, Gris's violence and abuse became her new reality. Before long,  it was normal to her. She accepted it, again because she thought it was  all she deserved.

She'd gone from worshipping him like a god, to fearing him like the devil.

But now, as she looked at him driving into the gas station, the snow  falling gently all around them, she didn't see a god or a devil.

All she saw was a man. And if you can see a man, you can also see the  little boy that he once was. Every man contains the child he started out  as. And that's what Elle could see now. She could see why Gris was  always so mean to everyone. She could see why he was so cruel to her. It  didn't come from a place of strength. It wasn't because he was more  powerful than she was. It was because he was weak.

"What are we doing here, Gris?" she said. "Are you going to let me go?"

"Of course not," Gris said, letting out a little laugh.

"Why not, Gris? You know you'll have to eventually. You can't keep me forever. Not against my will."

"It won't be against your will forever, Elle," he said. "You'll change  your mind. You'll love me again, like you used to. I know you will."

"I never loved you, Gris. I thought I did, but it wasn't love."

"How can you say that?" he said. There was genuine sadness in his voice  and Elle felt a pang of sympathy for him, despite what he was doing to  her and what he'd done to Forrester.

"Because I didn't know who I was, Gris. And if you don't know who you  are, you can't really love another person. Not properly, anyway."

"What do you mean, you didn't know who you were?"

"Think about it, Gris. You know the story of my childhood. You're the only person I ever told it to."

"Yeah, I know it. So what? I didn't exactly have a rosy childhood myself."

"I know that," Elle said. "But it meant that when you met me, when you  came along, I was still trying to figure out the really basic things  about my life. I was trying to figure out who I was, what I wanted, what  kind of a person I was going to become. I didn't know what I wanted,  Gris. I didn't know what I deserved."

"And now you do?"

"Yes. I do."

"And you deserve more than me, is that it?"

Elle looked at him compassionately. Despite wanting desperately to leave  him, she still found it difficult to tell him this. She wasn't used to  asking for what she wanted, or saying it out loud.

"That is it, Gris. I want more. And I deserve more."

"What's so bad about my love?" Gris said, becoming strangely vulnerable all of a sudden.                       
       
           



       

"Nothing," Elle said. "It is what it is. And I hope you can continue to  grow, and become a more loving person in the future. If you do, you'll  be able to give some girl, some day, the love she deserves."

"But not you?"

"Not me, Gris. I've already found the love I want, back in Stone Peak.  And I want to be with him. Forrester claimed my heart. I'm his now, and  nothing you can do will be able to change that."

Gris nodded. He knew that what Elle was saying was true, but it was  still hard for him to accept. Perhaps it was too hard. Elle couldn't  tell. All she knew was that she no longer feared Gris. She just hoped,  for his own sake, that he wouldn't cause trouble for himself and get  into a fight with Forrester.

Forrester was the exact opposite of Gris. Forrester had real strength.  If it came to a fight, Forrester might kill Gris. He would only do it if  he had to. Elle knew that. But it would still be a tragedy for Gris. It  wasn't his fault that he came from where he came from. It wasn't his  fault that bad things had happened to him when he was a child. But it  was his responsibility now to overcome it, and become a better man than  his own father had been. He was responsible for the man he would become,  same as everyone else, and he still had a chance to make some woman  happy some day. If he only made the right decisions now.

Gris locked the doors.

"We're going to sleep here for a few hours. I can't drive in this weather without some rest."

"We'll freeze," Elle said.

"I'll keep the engine running so that we have heat."

"What if I'm not here when you wake up?" Elle said.

Gris shrugged. "You'll be here, Elle. Because we're still not far from  Stone Peak. If you're not here when I wake up, I'm going back to that  jail, and I'm killing that man you think you're in love with. You're not  in love with him. It's an infatuation, plain and simple."

Elle sighed. She'd thought she was getting through to him. She'd thought  he might let her go. It was probably too much to hope that someone  could change that much in such a short time. Over time, Gris might  become a better man, but not today. You can't expect miracles from  people, especially after they've had a life like Gris's.





Chapter 38

Forrester

FORRESTER FELT DIZZY BUT HE forced himself to his feet. Maybe it was a  sign of how out of it he was, but he could have sworn he saw Elle's face  at the window in the door at the end of the corridor before he'd lost  consciousness.

It couldn't have been her.

He knew that. But still, the thought of her gave him strength. He didn't  know how much time had passed since Gris had knocked him out but he  didn't care. He couldn't afford to wait any longer. He had a girl out  there, somewhere, waiting for him, and he couldn't stand not being with  her for another second.

The light coming from the window told him it was about dawn. He must  have been out cold for the night. He looked toward the door.

Right there, he thought. That's where I saw her.

He wasn't sure if it had been a dream or not. He could see movement out  in the office. The sheriff was out there, with the four boys who'd been  helping Gris.