“I’ll do it,” Painter said. It seemed to catch everyone off guard, even himself a little bit. Maybe it was because he hadn’t said anything in a while. Or maybe they weren’t sure if he was serious. So he said it again. “I’ll do it.”
“Thank you, Painter,” Cass said, and she sounded like she really meant it. “But I can’t let you go back out there.”
“You don’t have to l-l-l-let me,” Painter said. “I don’t think I need your permmm-mission.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just… it’s really dangerous out there. With the curfew, and people on edge already. Never know when a jumpy guard might just start shooting. And if someone catches me out there, they won’t try to arrest me.”
“They might, Mama.”
Cass glanced at Wren and for a moment seemed to be considering what he’d said. But she shook her head again. “I can’t ask that of you, Painter. You’ve already done so much.”
“You didn’t ask,” Painter said. For some reason the more he heard her tell him why he couldn’t, the more he wanted to prove Cass wrong. Maybe she thought Painter couldn’t because he’d been so scared on their way here. Or maybe his stutter made her think he was incapable. But he’d bailed them out in the alley with nothing but words. Words. His weakness. Imagine what he could do with his strength. Actually he didn’t have to imagine it. He’d already shown that too, without even meaning to.
“I’ll go, I w-w-want to,” Painter said. It wasn’t a discussion anymore. “What sh-sh-shhh, what should I say?”
They all stared at him for a moment. Cass seemed to still be trying to figure out how to dissuade him. Wren piped up.
“I think you should find Finn,” Wren said. “If they really do have a trace, he’d know what to do about it.”
“OK,” Painter said, standing. He felt slightly light-headed and not even a little scared. Looking back on it, he wasn’t sure why he’d been so afraid on the way over. Rattled from everything that had happened maybe. He felt calmer now, more sure of himself. Purposeful. It’d been a long time since he’d felt that.
“How will you get outside?” Cass asked. A hitch. Painter hadn’t even thought about that.
“Climb down?” he offered. But even standing here feeling brave, he knew that wasn’t really an option. The gates would be locked up tight, so those were out.
“He could use the tunnel,” Wren said, and his mother looked at him sharply – as if he’d just blurted out a shameful family secret. He held her gaze, shrugged slightly.
“What t-t, what tunnel?”
Cass continued to look at Wren, but Painter could see now that she wasn’t upset. She was thinking it through. Finally she said, “There’s a tunnel, by the compound. It runs under the wall.”
“It’s secret,” Wren added.
“Back to the… compound?” Painter asked. He lowered himself back into his chair. Sneaking from Mister Sun’s to the wall didn’t seem like such a stretch, but going all the way back to the governor’s compound was a different story. Not to mention getting back inside.
“Yeah,” Cass said. “It’s alright, Painter. We’ll figure something else out.”
Painter felt deflated. In theory it had been a challenge, almost an adventure. But now all of the realities started flooding into his mind, all of the tedious particulars of what it would entail. Travel back to the governor’s compound. Get back inside. Find the secret tunnel. And then what? Even if he didn’t get caught on the streets, how was he even supposed to find any of those people outside the wall? And what would they do when they saw Painter skulking around looking for them? Shoot him dead before he ever even saw them, most likely.
Who was he kidding? He was just a kid, a useless dishwasher who’d had too much to drink. But then something else started to bubble up in his mind. Thoughts of the thugs that had beaten him up nights ago. And thoughts of what people like them had done to his friend, Luck. And thoughts of his sister.
And where alcohol-induced bravery had burned away, anger filled the void. These people had taken nearly all he had. No way Painter was going to sit around while they took the rest. He stood up again.
“How do I find the tunnel?” he asked.
There was silence for a moment. And then Cass laid it all out for him; where the entrance was, how to access it, where it led, and how to find his way back again. And as they talked it through, other hasty plans came together. It began to seem possible again. And by the end, it almost seemed inevitable.