I wipe away a tear. “I can’t wait to meet her. That is, if you want me to.”
He squeezes my hand. “I do,” he says. “Very much.”
I take a deep breath and think of my precious little girl and her adoring father. I think of the perfect life that I lost, and I realize that Alex and I have more in common than I could have ever anticipated.
Chapter 19
PENNY
I’m relieved when I don’t see Dex’s shoes by the front door the next morning. I slip into the house and shower. I lather the soap over my body, caressing my skin the way Collin did last night. I feel guilty, and yet I feel cherished in a way I haven’t been in so long. I hear the sound of the front door opening and freeze. Is it Dex? Collin? I wipe away the fog on the shower door when I see the bathroom door opening.
“Oh, there you are,” Dex says.
“You’re home,” I say flatly. “I didn’t think you’d be back for a while.”
“I wanted to surprise you.”
I turn off the water and reach for the towel on the hook. I wrap it around myself and step out. Dexter pulls me to him and kisses me. “I’m sorry I couldn’t take you to the concert last night,” he says. “Did you go?”
I nod. “Collin took me.”
“Oh, good,” he says. “I’ll have to thank him. But first, I have a surprise for you.”
“Oh,” I say, feigning interest. I imagine he’s bought me a gift. Something cashmere. A bracelet from Tiffany, maybe. It’s his pattern. Disappointment, then pretty present tied up with a ribbon, repeat. But there is no box in his hand.
“We’re going on a trip,” he says.
“A trip?”
“Yes. To California.”
I shake my head. “I don’t understand.”
“I thought we needed a little getaway,” he says. “See some palm trees. Stay in a five-star hotel. Feel the sand between our toes.”
“I suppose this was your psychiatrist’s idea,” I say, making no attempt to hide the annoyance in my voice.
He looks startled for a moment, then the smile returns to his face. “No, it was actually my idea,” he says, taking my hands in his. “Pack your bags. Our plane leaves this afternoon.”
At first I feel irritated. How dare he just waltz back here and tell me to pack my bags? And then the guilt sets in. I remember where I was last night, how Collin made me feel. I look at the floor, and Dex lifts my chin up to face him. “Let me make it up to you. Please?”
Because I don’t know what else to say, I nod and say yes.
Dex carries our luggage up the dock, and I look straight ahead, hoping not to see Collin as I lock the door to the houseboat. I pray he isn’t there. I can’t bear to see him, not now, not after the night we shared. What would he think? What would I say? But then I see him ahead. He’s walking toward us on the dock holding a vase of pink roses. There’s a ribbon tied around the vase, which looks freshly selected from the front window of the little florist down the street. Dex would never settle for premade bouquets. He has a personal florist who knows his style—“loose, careless,” I once overheard him say over the phone while ordering flowers for his sister after the birth of her son.
Collin holds the vase in his hands awkwardly. I know the roses are for me. I know they’re a symbol of the love that blossomed between us last night. I run my eyes over the pink roses, and my heart nearly seizes. I want to run to him. I want to let him hold me again, kiss me. But Dex tucks his hand around my waist and I freeze, unable to say or do anything. I just stand and pray that Collin can read my eyes. They plead with him to understand.
“Hello there,” Dex says to him. “Got a date?”
Collin looks at me, then back at Dex. I can tell he doesn’t know what to say. I don’t either.
“We’re off to California,” Dex says, filling the void.
“California,” Collin parrots back. He looks at me dumbstruck. How could I be going away after last night? After . . .
“Dex surprised me,” I say, hoping he’ll understand that I have no other choice.
Dex kisses my cheek territorially and I pray that Collin sees my displeasure. “Thanks for taking my sweetheart out last night,” he says. “I’ll have to think of some way to repay you.”
“No repayment necessary,” Collin says. He looks wounded, and I want to reach my arms out to him. I want to nuzzle my face into his neck. But I can’t. I can only stare ahead. I can only stand beside my husband. My husband.
“I have a meeting with a new patron in Los Angeles, and I decided to buy an extra ticket to take Penny along.” He leans toward Collin playfully. “This is my very earnest attempt to get my wife into one of those bikinis all the women wear out there in California.”