More Than Forever(28)

"Make yourself throw up like that? Is it because you think you're fat—because I can tell you now—"

"No." I turn to him so we're face to face. He likes that—likes to be able to see my face. He says it's because he likes to read me. "When Mom started to get sick, things got hard for me."

"It's okay," he says quickly, "you don't need to talk about it. I'm sorry for asking."

Inhaling a shaky breath, I move closer and let him hold me. "Things got hard. It's like every day passed and I was barely living through it. The sun rose and all I felt was emptiness. It was the same. Every single day she was dying. And every day I was watching. Waiting. And it never seemed to end. I felt like it was happening to me. Her death felt like it was mine. And sometimes I'd cry for hours. Sometimes it would be silent, and other times I cried so hard it made me throw up. The first time I did it, it wasn't intentional. And then it started to happen more, and I started to feel something. Looking back, I don't even know what it was. But it made me feel... alive? And I needed that. At that time, I needed to feel something different. Something that didn't make me feel like I was living in an eternal loop surrounded by death."

"I'm so sorry, Luce." His voice breaks, and I know without having to look at him that he's holding back tears. I know because regardless of what I thought was happening only minutes ago, I know how he feels about me. I know the fierce protectiveness he has for me. "What changed?"

I look up at him now, his eyes are glazed, watching me with an intensity that makes my heart hammer against my chest. The ache is still there, but it's not heartbreak. It's something else. Something that kids at fifteen shouldn't be feeling. "What made you stop?" he asks.

I don't hesitate. I don't skip a beat. "You, Cameron. You changed. You came into my life and you healed me. You made me feel alive again."

I tell him the truth, and with that, I give him my heart. Forever.





CHAPTER TEN


-CAMERON-

She stands in front of her locker and chews the last of her apple, making sure that I see it. She's been doing that a lot since the conversation we had on her porch a few weeks ago. It's kind of cute—the way she wants to assure me that I have nothing to worry about. She could be two hundred and fifty pounds and I'd still worry about her.

She hands me the core to put in the trash, then reaches into her locker and picks up a note. She unfolds it and reads it slowly, about as slow as the smile that pulls on her lips.

"What is it?" I ask, trying to keep my curiosity in check. There's a note in her locker... and whatever it says is making her smile. Someone else is making her smile.

She puts the note back and shrugs. "Nothing."

"I call bullshit, Luce. What is it?"

Her eyes roll as she reaches back in, grabbing the piece of paper and slapping it against my chest.

Thanks for being an awesome lab partner. You make learning fun. Adam.

I scrunch up the note and toss it in the trash. "You make learning fun?" I scoff. "What a douche thing to say."

"It's nice," she says, her voice laced with sympathy. "Leave it alone."

"You think it's nice?" I laugh once. "You're being naive, Luce. He wants in your pants."

Her jaw drops.

I roll my eyes.

She narrows hers.

"Whatever. Some other guy's leaving notes in your locker and making you smile. I'm supposed to be okay with that?" I slam my palm against a locker and walk away. She shouts my name, but I ignore it. Maybe she thinks I'm being a dick but I don't. I have every right to be pissed.

"Cameron!" She pulls on my arm, stopping me from going any further.

"What!" I turn around, prepared for an argument, but she's smiling. I'm pissed and she's smiling at me.

She yanks on my hand and leads me out of the hallway and through the exit so we're alone. Throwing her hand out, palm up, she says, "Phone."

"What?"

"Give me your phone."

I do what she says. Logan was right, in the couple of months we've been dating, she's made quick work of owning my balls.

She taps the phone a couple times and then hands it back to me. "That's my locker combination," she says. "You can go in there and check it whenever you want. I have nothing to hide from you, Cameron."

My shoulders slump. I hadn't realized how tense I was until now. "Which Adam is it, Lucy? Masters or Deluca?"

Her lips thin to a line.

I try to get past her but she rests her palms flat on my chest and pushes until I'm against the wall—her tiny frame presses into my front, blocking me from going anywhere. "Stop it," she says, her eyes dancing with amusement.