My plans have always been that the two of us would get a place together. I never pictured our worlds being apart, and things with us are so rocky right now that I put off making plans. I’m still holding onto this very thin string wishing everyday that you will let me back in. Since I started writing you these letters I have felt better. Although, getting one back would be like getting to the gum in my Blow Pop. You know how I love the gum in Blow Pops. I used to have you eat the sucker all the way down to the gum and then I would take the gum. Do you remember that? It was my favorite gum. But I think I just liked watching you lick the sucker for hours. In case you didn’t know. It was HOT!! That is your juicy fact for the day.
Miss you so much right now; you don’t even understand. Your parents said that you were doing really well, but I wish that I could hear it from you. I’ll be here when you’re ready.
Love,
Moon
I read the letter over and over, replaying the thought in my head. I was picturing what it must have felt like for him to learn he had a sister he didn’t know about who was fifteen years old. He has a sister. I can’t believe it. I mean I guess I can, but it’s so shocking to hear it from him. No matter what he says I can tell he is excited. There is probably a thought in his mind that he shouldn’t be happy, but he is. I know it. I can’t help but think about Lisa. She put up with so much all of these years from that rat bastard. She may love him, but no amount of love was worth his crap.
Johnny read the letter over supper that evening. You should see the smile on his face every time I get a new letter. He gets so excited. No one ever sends mail for him, so it’s like Christmas every day. Each day when the letter arrives I read it first and once I have laughed and cried or puked, whichever is necessary, I pass it on to Johnny to read. There are critics of music and movies, but I never knew there were letter critics until John Boy. I swear he has some kind of over analytical thing to say about every word in it. Mostly it comes down too him saying that he believes Moon loves me so much and I need to write him back, which I have no plan of doing anytime soon.
“I get it, seriously. You can shut up now.”
He rolled his eyes at me. “Come on let’s go. We have work to do.”
“I have to start my school work tonight. They finally sent over my school work and I have to stay on top of it, if I plan to graduate.”
“Are you serious right now? You will have plenty of free time to work on that shit. We have more important things to work on. Let’s go.”
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I liked hanging out with him way more than homework, but not knowing what he has up his sleeve well, it frightens me. He closed my bedroom door and waited for me to at least pretend to look comfortable.
“I have a plan but, you need to close your eyes and trust me.”
“I can tell you right now that you started that whole damn sentence wrong. I’m freaking serious when I say this too you. Look into my eyes. The fact that you have a plan is bad enough, but now you want me to shut my eyes, oh and that’s not all. You also want me to trust you. Seriously, trust you. The fact that we are both in a nut house speaks volumes.”
“And the Oscar goes to Sunshine, for an unbeatable performance. Enough with the dramatics, we have work to do. Have I given you any reason not to trust me?” I just rolled my eyes. I swear if he wasn’t so dang cute I would probably punch him in the nose right now. “Are you ready?”
“Fine,” I stood up from the edge of the bed and closed my eyes. “Be gentle Johnny because I’m truly nervous.”
“You think I don’t know that? I can see your hands shaking from way over here. Just listen to my voice. It will be fine. Do you hear my voice getting closer? Good, now keep your eyes closed and just listen.”
With each word he spoke I could hear him coming closer into my space, but he would say comforting things and would always tell me to take a deep breath. That helped because I could smell him. His cologne always smelled sexy and it would mask the other bad smells that I would think I smelled. He was my reality.
“I’m really close now.”
“I know. I smell you.” I smiled big.
His laugh was so cute. I even heard him sniffing loudly and pictured him smelling his own pits; that made me giggle. “So you think I stink, huh?”
“No,” I was trying not to laugh. “Actually, you smell really good. I love the way you smell.”
“Really,” he stepped closer. I only knew this because I could feel his breathe on my face. My heart picked up a serious marathon pace. There was no stopping it, I mean not that I wanted it to stop, but a slower pace would have been helpful. It wasn’t my normal panicked heart race it was something totally different. His closeness was doing all sorts of things to me. “I’m really close now, but I won’t hurt you. Do you hear me?” I nodded, unable to speak.