I snapped out of it and went on with my story. I told her everything from start to finish. She never interrupted and cried a lot. Crying wasn’t something I was prepared to go through with her, but that’s where it went. I had to bring up dad in my story. There was no way around it. I’m sure that she was flashing back. I felt bad.
“That is so sad. I will have to call and talk to Bill and Lizzie about this.” Of course, I knew that she would want to call her parents. Immediately, I felt like I had betrayed Shine and that this would make her hate me worse.
“Momma, I just don’t know if that is such a good idea, now that I think about it. She already hates me and if she gets into trouble with her parents she will never speak to me again.”
“It won’t be like that. I’m sure that her parents will not make this troublesome for her. They will be just as worried as I am, and if you’d like I will never mention your name. It will seem as if you had nothing to do with it.” I guess that would be okay. At least then she wouldn’t blame me.
“Fine, but make sure that I am left out of it.”
“I will.”
She got up from the barstool to check on supper. “Momma, I was wondering if you had any ideas that would help me get her to talk to me. I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I have no idea what to do.” It feels like a lost cause.
“She’ll come around soon enough. You don’t want to do anything crazy and screw things up worse.”
“Maybe, but I just can’t wait any longer. I’m gonna get her back somehow.” I hit the countertop with a little too much force, causing mom to glare at me over the cooker.
“Why don’t you just tell her that you are in love with her?”
I jerked my head up quickly at momma’s words. “How did you know?”
“Oh honey, it’s no secret. You have loved that girl since the moment you laid eyes on her. The day you became Moon, you never left her side.” She was right. I have loved her all these years. I should have just told her. I let out a loud deep breath.
“You’re right. I love her so much that it’s killing me. I need her back and somehow I have to figure out a way.” Quickly I stood from the stool and didn’t wait for mom to respond. “I’m taking a shower and I will be down for supper in a few.” She nodded her head and smiled as I ran off to clear my head.
12
Shine
Today was one horrible day. It didn’t start off well considering I only got about two hours of sleep last night. After mom got off the phone with Moon’s momma we had a massive argument. Lisa had called and told her that she was worried about me. She said that she thought I wasn’t doing well because I wasn’t looking too good. Apparently I am skin and bones and I happen to look like walking death. Of course, we know where that load of shit was coming from. The woman hadn’t laid eyes on me in months, but somehow she just knew that I was not doing well. Right, that is so damn believable. That boy and his big ass mouth make me want to punch him in his face.
Mom had come into my bedroom on a rant and rave with the third degree. She had questioned me about school, my friends, and even my sanity; which I am not sure that I still have. I knew where she was coming from, but I was so mad because I had it all figured out. This was not a part of my plan. Now I was back into the hole I started from.
She and dad were leaving to visit with Grandma for the next two days, but she promised me that when they got back that we would begin the weekly sessions with the therapist. The two of them would join me because we were a family. I believe her exact words were, “We have all suffered and we should get help together” Yep, at this point I wanted to gouge my eyes out with a fork. They almost called off their trip because she felt like I shouldn’t be left alone. Somehow I managed to coerce them into going. I would have to call and check in with them frequently and I’m sure she would have people stopping by the house on a regular basis.
Anyway, that was how my night went, and the day ahead of me seems to be following the same speed. I was late for school which meant that I had to be the center of attention and we all know that being in the center of anything is the last place that I want to be. I tried not to let it get to me too much, but that’s easier said than done.
Right before class let out for my lunch period, I decided to skip it as usual. Some days I would go to the library and read and other days I would find myself outside on the track. Anywhere was better than being in that place. It was my chance to just escape for a little while, plus I like to avoid Moon at all costs. Today, I decided on the library because I needed to catch up on last night’s homework that I had to put off.