Maybe he didn’t want to become his father, but he should respect the man, all the same. Instead, he’d been a stupid ass, following at Kelsey’s heels, hoping to use her…use her to escape himself.
Amy was right. He’d never really loved Kelsey. But he knew now that he loved her sister, and the fact that his own soul mate now wouldn’t return his phone calls or answer his ringing of her bell had him wondering how he could face the next hour.
He stood there in his darkening office, his head bent against the glass, more lost and confused than he’d ever felt in his life.
When Kelsey had married Jared—even then he hadn’t felt this pain. Because he’d never loved Kelsey and he now knew he loved Amy with all his stupid, blind, ignorant soul.
Amy hated him. Amy who’d always laughed at his jokes. The one woman he needed, wanted and lusted…and he didn’t know how to get her back.
***
Several days later, Kelsey opened her door to see Doug standing there, looking worried.
“Hey,” she said, stepping back and waving him in. Sheer determination had gotten her through the days since she’d last seen Jared. She wasn’t sure what had gotten her through the nights. It seemed as if each one would kill her.
But she wasn’t about to burden Doug with her misery again. She’d hurt him too much already. Too her great relief he hadn’t seemed to have taken her maundering words about marrying him to heart. She’d been sobbing like a fool and he seemed to know she needed to ramble, thank heavens.
“How are things?” she asked as light-heartedly as possible. “Seems like I haven’t seen you for weeks.”
“My life is crap. Amy’s driving me crazy and I can’t eat or sleep, much less work,” Doug said abruptly, sitting down in a chair. “Jared probably wants to fire me.”
“Don’t be silly. You’re his right hand man.” Kelsey tried to smile, knowing the result was lousy. Somehow she had to help him for a change, comfort him. No matter what her sister said, Kelsey knew these two loved each other.
“This sucks,” Doug said, disgust on his face. “You and Jared on the rocks. Me and Amy broken up. I don’t know what happened between you two, but I wanted you to know I… Well, I just hope you can work things out.”
“You do?” She was so relieved, the first genuine smile she’d smiled in days spread over her face. She hadn’t screwed things up further by crying all over him the other day.
“Yes, of course, I do,” Doug said. “You and Jared are my closest friends. I’d hate to see you break up.”
Scrambling to get her bearings, Kelsey just looked at him.
“I-I know I wasn’t thrilled when you guys sprang your-your relationship on me,” Doug admitted, stammering as his face reddened. “You know, I’ve always kind of—stupidly—thought you and I might end up together—“
“Doug—“ she started, her voice strained.
He waved a hand, halting her speech. “That was before. I realize now that I’ve been a prick—just seeing things from my own perspective, not yours. I’ve watched you two when you’re together and I’ve seen how much you love each other. I never thought I’d say this, but you’re good together.”
“We are?” she said faintly, relief and shock making her want to cry. Loved each other? She and Jared? She loved him, she knew, but his feelings had never been clear to her. In between hating and missing Jared, she’d wondered if she was going to make it through each day.
Doug smiled ruefully. “Jared can match wits with you better than anyone you’ve been with. Certainly better than I ever could. He can keep up with you.”
“Yes,” she admitted, a welter of emotion tugging at her throat. Damn, she couldn’t cry anymore. Surely, it was physically impossible.
“Hell, I don’t even want to keep up with you,” Doug said with sudden, startling frankness.
“You don’t?” His repudiation was so complete, she started laughing. The sound left her mouth and, to her horror, she felt tears rushing behind her eyes. The emotional roller coaster of loving and losing, she thought, trying to keep her smile pinned in place.
“Listen,” Doug said, reaching out to take her hand. “I can’t stay long. Amy’s meeting one of her friends from work for coffee and I’m going to try and catch her when she comes out of the restaurant. As you noticed, I’m reduced to stalking her. But I had to stop by here. You’re my best friend and I wanted to know if you’re okay.”
“I’m okay,” she said, her voice husky. “It’s…hard, but I think I’m surviving.”