Mixed Up(81)

I followed him through. He took the left turn into his yard, and I didn't blame him at all. If I were in his situation, I'd be taking his side, too. The fact he'd picked his yard said volumes to me.

Ryan sat in the chair in the corner of the porch. He pulled one knee toward him and looked out at the backyard.

I did the same. Except my seat was on the opposite side of the porch to his.

"Raven texted me this morning." His voice was flat. "Told me she was seeing you."

I swallowed.

"I thought she was messing with me, and then I put it together. You working together. Your night away. Not fighting. I didn't put it together until thirty minutes ago, mind you, but I did. In the end."

I rubbed my hand across my chin. Did he want me to answer?

"Last night." He paused. "Were you with her last night?"

"Yeah." I said it slowly. "I was."

He nodded. "How long?"

"Not long. No more than two weeks."

Ryan scrubbed his hands through his hair and, clasping them at the back of his neck, spoke to the ground. "I don't understand."

"Neither do I," I said honestly, looking out at the end of the yard. "I don't know this happened, Ry. But it did. And I couldn't fight it."

"You hated each other forever. What the fuck?"

"Yeah, I know. I don't get it either."

"So, why'd she tell me and not you?"

I couldn't help the smile, no matter how I tried to hide it with my hand. "I told her that I'd tell you and take it all, but she's stubborn as fuck, and I guess she needed to beat me to it."

Ryan laughed. "That sounds like her."

I leaned forward, my hands falling between my knees. I focused on the end of the yard, on the barely-flowering bushes that lined the perimeter. Neither of us spoke, and I was thankful. I was thankful that he didn't seem to be mad, simply confused, and that he was" apparently willing to hear my side.



       
         
       
        

That was all I needed.

"I'm not gonna pretend that I know what I feel about her," I started. "But I'm confused. I'm conflicted. And I'm afraid that I can't be without her. There's something about her that pulls me in. I don't care what happened before-I care what happens now. And, man, I know, you're not gonna like it, but I care about her more than anything. I don't fucking know why or how, and I'm gonna kick her ass for telling you first, but I can't change the way I feel about her."

Ryan nodded. Slowly, like he was taking it all in. Like he was processing the shit I'd just thrown at him.

Silence.

Then... "What if," he said, his voice low, his eyes fixed out onto the grass. "What if I told you that you had to choose? That it was me or her? That it was our friendship or her?"

I knew the answer. He might not like it, but I knew it.

"I won't break her heart for you." I'd never been surer of words I'd spoken. "Ry, you're my best friend, but I won't hurt her because of something you feel. I'm sorry. I wouldn't do that to her, no matter the cost. She doesn't deserve that."

And that was true.

No matter what the future held for us, Raven didn't deserve that kind of heartbreak. Not that I was saying I would break her heart, but the risk wasn't work it.

That was when I knew-I was right. I wouldn't. I wouldn't hurt her for him. If he'd asked about anyone else, it would have been easy. But not her. Not Raven.

"Good." He still didn't look at me. "Because I won't ask you to. Just don't kiss in her front of me, yeah? I'm so used to you fighting that it might make my head explode."

I laughed quietly. "You're taking this better than I thought you would."

Shrugging, he finally glanced at me. "I don't know how I feel about it yet. It's weird. But, you haven't been seeing each other for that long, and I completely believe it happened by chance. There's no way you deliberately sought one another out. If that happened, I'd be getting ready for one of your murder trials."

He wasn't wrong.

"Parker?" He looked at me properly. "Thank you for telling me."

"I didn't. She did." I smirked.

"Are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into with her?"

"Yes...And that makes it even more confusing."

He laughed. "All right, I gotta go see her and pretend I'm pissed off. Payment for telling me by text. She's a big, fat chicken."

"She is," I said, getting up when he did. "But I gotta admit, I'm glad I didn't have to say it." 

"I would be, too."





EPILOGUE


Raven