I swallowed. I didn't want to be the one to break the silence, and judging by the way he stood and stared at me as if he was waiting for me to speak first, he didn't either.
Still, somehow had to.
So, I said the one thing I was trained to say in awkward situations.
"I think we need a drink." I got up and walked into the kitchen. "Remember that drink I told you about that hardly anyone knows about? It works here."
"You mean the one you won't name." Laughter followed his words.
"I'll name it. It has a name. It's just offensive to some people."
"I don't get offended very easily. What is it?"
I grabbed a bottle. "Three shots of tequila. Two of pineapple vodka. One of coconut rum. Lime. Blackcurrant." I poured approximately three shots' worth of tequila into my glass.
"Is that for-wait, never mind. I see that's per person." He paused as he drew level with me. Slowly, he turned his face and looked at me. "One glass of that will put someone over the limit."
I put the tequila down and met his eyes. "It's okay. I have a comfy sofa."
His lips pulled up on one side.
I couldn't help but smile back before turning back to my alcohol stash. "You're right, though," I said, picking up the pineapple vodka. "It is kinda lethal. I'm not sure anyone should actually drink it, because it's basically the world's largest shot that you sip."
"Yet, you still won't tell me the name."
I finished adding the spirits and reached for the lime cordial. The light, green juice mixed with the clearness of the spirits. As it swirled and curled around the liquid, I grabbed the blackcurrant and unscrewed it. One dash of that in each had a weird-looking battle between green and purple happening in the glass. Neither juice really settled, even after the distribution of it had settled, so it took a few stirs with straws to get it fully mixed.
I picked up one glass and handed it to Parker. "Here is your Wet Cunt."
He stared into the glass, saying nothing. Then, his shoulders trembled. His hand shook. Right at the moment he put his glass down, a laugh bubbled out of him, and he gripped the edge of the counter. "You called a cocktail a Wet Cunt?"
"No, it's The Wet Cunt, but saying enjoy The Wet Cunt is sometimes too suggestive. Especially after a Wet Cunt."
"Does this live up to its name like your others somehow do?"
"Does The Wet Cunt give you a wet cunt? I don't know. Stop making me say that word. There's a reason I don't say it often and it's this. It's all or nothing."
"Sorry, but it rolls off your tongue really well."
"That word rolls of nobody's tongue well." I handed him back his drink since he'd stopped laughing-not that my overuse of that controversial c-word had helped his amusement any. "Try it."
"I would be more likely to try this if you'd labeled it arsenic." He was looking at it again. "I just saw how much liquor compared to not is in this thing."
I shrugged and brought my glass to my lips. "Everyone needs one in their life."
"Now, I get the cocktail names. The innuendos are fun."
"It's taken you this long?"
"No, but I don't think I fully understood the extent of it until now. All right, here goes." He took a mouthful of the drink and swallowed. Eyes bugging, he coughed, slamming the glass down.
I grinned.
He watched me make it. More fool him.
"Jesus, woman, are you tryna kill me?" he rasped, hand on his throat.
"My track record points to yes," I answered. "But I'm kinda fond of you now, so no. But maybe I should have made you this before."
"Are you sure there's no arsenic in there?"
"Positive." I slid the glass back from the edge of the counter with mine and grabbed two, taller glasses. "I also might have made them slightly stronger than necessary."
He straightened and fixed those dark eyes on me. "Why? Why would you do that?"
"Seemed like a good idea at the time." I poured the strong drinks into each glass and pulled the lemonade from the bottle rack. "And it was...For my own amusement." I flashed him a grin and uncapped the lemonade.
He grabbed me. The lemonade bottle went sliding across the counter and tipped awkwardly into the sink, but I didn't have time to protest the spray of fizz that went across my kitchen and up the side of my fridge.
Parker had his hands wrapped around mine and pinned the base of my back. My body was flush against his, and heat swept through me when he dipped his head so his lips were close to mine. "I didn't realize how good you were at avoidance until just now."