So, I said the only word I could, given the circumstances.
I said, "Okay."
***
If I had to give my past self any advice, it would be: Don't, under any circumstances, give your family cocktail making lessons. You will regret it.
That advice would have been good at eight a.m. when I agreed, and forty-five minutes ago when my grandmother, great-aunt, and cousin walked into my bar.
See, what I should have done was told them I was sorry, but I couldn't do it today. Especially since Aunt Alexa had yet to arrive and there had already been one smashed glass thanks to Great-Aunt Maria's overzealous pouring.
"Too much!" I yelled, waving my hands around. I took the tequila bottle out of Maria's hands and put it a good two arms-lengths away from her. "One shot. The Pussy Pounder only needs one shot."
"Are you mixing drinks or filming a porno?" Parker's voice made me turn to him. He stepped into the bar wielding a large, silver tray that had the hummus platter and more on.
Yia-Yia's nose twitched. "I smell food. Is it good?"
"I sure hope so. And if it's not, I didn't cook it." He winked at me as he carefully put the tray on the bar surface.
"And if good?" Yia-Yia demanded.
"Then obviously, I cooked it."
She smiled slyly at him.
"Thanks," I said to him, ignoring the way my cousin, Athena, was staring at him. "How are you doing, Theney?"
All right, maybe not. But I had some kind of claim on him now, right?
Probably not, given the fact nobody could know we were apparently getting physical.
"I think I have it." She blushed and pushed the drink to me. "What do you think?"
I grabbed a fresh straw and put it in the drink. "Not bad, but just a little more lemonade."
"Mmm, good." Yia-Yia hummed, half a ring of calamari in her hand.
Parker grinned. "I made that."
"No, you didn't. Wes makes the batter." I ran the cocktail shaker Athena had just used under the tap beneath the bar.
"I fried it."
"You said you made it. You didn't." I shrugged and shut off the tap. "Just pointing that out."
Great-Aunt Maria snickered from her stool. She flung her hand out in Parker's direction and opened her mouth. Her fingers collided with the side of a full glass of Blue Balls, and it was only Parker's lightning-fast reflexes that saved a second glass from destruction at her hands-quite literally.
I grabbed the glass from him and slid it away.
Great-Aunt Maria looked at the glass as though she'd done something to offend it.
Parker put his hands on the bar and leaned over to speak quietly. "Maybe you should relocate this to your mom's kitchen so she breaks her glasses instead."
I sighed. "This whole thing is a bad idea," I said back just as quietly. I glanced at my family. Great-Aunt Maria had slid her glass back in front of her and turned to the food, but Yia-Yia had moved the glass just far away that it was safe.
I slid out from behind the bar and motioned for him to join me in the corner. "This is a disaster. In the past forty-five minutes they've been here, I've lost a glass, dented a cocktail shaker, and had to throw out an entire pot of raspberries because in case you didn't notice, Great-Aunt Maria has butterfingers."
"On the bright side," Parker replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. "It's only one glass, I can probably bash out that dent, and there are plenty of raspberries in the freezer."
I fought my smile. "That doesn't help the fact my cousin makes doe-eyes at you every time you walk past. Or the fact Yia-Yia has inquired as to the state of my uterus no less than five times, like I've just gone through immaculate conception right here in my bar."
"Your cousin is making doe-eyes at me? I didn't notice." His own eyes belied that with their sparkle.
I smacked his chest. "I don't care, I was just pointing it out."
"I would have believed that a lot more two days ago," he muttered, the words no more than a low buzz.
"Whatever. You have to help me get rid of them."
His eyebrows shot up. "How exactly do you expect me to do that?"
"I don't know. If I knew how to get rid of them, don't you think I'd be doing it myself?" I whispered, glancing in their direction. Thankfully only Athena was looking at us, so I offered her a reassuring smile. It was apparently enough, because she smiled back and returned to the conversation.
Parker peered at my family for a moment. "So, why do I get stuck with this?"
"Because you have ideas, and if you want them to become reality..." I whispered again, this time trailing off and leaving it for him to finish.