"It doesn't...You can't..." I let go of a long, deep breath. "You know that can't happen. What happened yesterday shouldn't have happened. The point of this conversation is to discuss what happened and make sure what what happened never happens again, and that doesn't involve what you or I or Mother freakin' Nature wants to happen because absolutely one hundred percent none of that can happen."
Parker paused. "I don't know if I'm more impressed you said that without taking a breath or the amount of times you used the word 'happen' or 'happened' without getting tongue-tied."
A frustrated groan escaped my lips, and I pushed up to standing. "You know nothing else can happen, so don't tell me how you think you feel, because that just fucks up this entire situation."
"As opposed to its already non-complicated standpoint."
"Can you stop being so annoyingly logical?"
A lopsided grin stretched across his face. "Now I understand why you're such a smartass. It's kinda fun."
I wasn't going to smile.
Nuh-uh.
No way.
Not a-
Shit, I was smiling. Of course, I was.
I rubbed my hands down my face and shook my head. I might have smiled, but I wasn't going to laugh. "I'm an accidental smartass."
"Just like I'm accidentally really good in bed." That grin was still in place.
"You're not bad on a desk, but I have no comment about the bed."
"I can make that happen."
"That is not happening." I pointed a finger at him. "That doesn't solve this problem."
"True," he said slowly. "But it would remove a great deal of stress from it. At least for the short term."
This was ridiculous. This conversation was going around in circles. There was no way in hell I was going to get anything decent out of this conversation.
"Clearly, you're not in the right frame of mind to discuss this today." I ran my hands through my hair. "Let's try again tomorrow."
"Raven." Parker saying my name made me stop and turn back to him.
He got up from the sofa and came toward me. My heart beat a little faster every time he took a step and came closer to me. By the time he reached my, my heartbeat was too wild to control, and my entire body was buzzing with his nearness.
He hesitated before bringing a hand to my face. His palm was soft against my cheek, and I stared at him as he slid his hand through into my hair. I knew what was coming. Stopping it should have been my ultimate goal, but the closer his mouth came to mine, the more I wanted him to kiss me.
One kiss. That was all it was. One firm yet soft kiss that sent sparks across my skin.
One kiss that made me believe in the words he'd just said to me.
One kiss that stirred the feelings I'd shoved away into the wilderness of my mind.
"We're not going to talk about this again." His voice was low, his nose brushing mine as he slowly pulled back. "Because the outcome isn't going to change. I'm still not going to hate you, Ray, and you're not gonna hate me either. I'm still going to want to kiss you. Still going to want to fuck you. All talking about how wrong this is does is make me want you more."
I opened my mouth, but he slid his hand back to my cheek and pressed his thumb to my lower lip.
"Now, if you tell me right now that I'm wrong and you don't want me, that I'm a delusional idiot who needs punching in the face, then fine. No more conversations and no more of this. I'll just be the guy who works in your kitchen you've known your whole life. But if you tell me I'm right and that I'm not the only one torn between want and loyalty, then we're both terrible people, so we might as well be terrible in private, in our own time."
"On a desk?"
"Desk, bed, wall, pool table-I'm not fussy. I have ideas for all four places."
My lips curled up to one side, but I sighed. "You make it all sound so simple."
"Good, because I don't think it is at all." He ran his thumb across the curve of my lower lip. "I just need to know if I'm justified feeling the way I do."
The thumping of my heart was becoming almost aching-like a warning that I was walking into a situation that would shatter it.
"You're leaving at the end of the summer, so on one hand, it's not a big deal. On the other...The fact I find myself struggling to despise you is."
Parker smirked. "Maybe I am leaving, maybe I'm not. Would if I have a job if stay?"
"Only if you have a reason to be here."
"Maybe I will." He leaned in again. "Help me find one."