Mixed Up(56)

There was something...more. Some intangible feeling I couldn't put into words. I couldn't hold onto it long enough to form enough of a sentence to describe the way I felt whenever she looked into my eyes or opened that sassy mouth of hers.

It was foreign. Scary. Unwelcome.

I wanted her in ways I couldn't bring myself to admit to.

"Good morning." Mom slid the door shut behind her. "Please take your feet off my table."



       
         
       
        

I quietly laughed as I lowered my feet to the chair closest to me. "Morning."

She glanced at the chair with pursed lips before sitting next to me. "I suppose that's better."

"Life is about compromise, Mom."

"Hmm. How are you feeling this morning? You didn't seem yourself last night."

"Stressful day." That was the vaguest, truest answer I could give. "I didn't sleep well, so I'm glad I'm not working today."

She sipped from her coffee mug and set it on the table. "Are you and Raven getting along well?"

I meant to say "Better than before," but what came out was a heavy sigh.

Mom looked at me. Her dark eyes flitted across my face before she finally smiled, looking away.

I turned to her. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"You like her."

"I'm not entering into a discussion fit for teenage girls, Mother."

"I'm not attempting to do that at all. But, clearly, you're feeling conflicted over something, and this is the only possible thing it could be. I have to admit, I wondered if the two of you had some hidden feelings beneath all that fighting."

"No hidden feelings," I said. "Ever. The hate was...is...real."

"Except you don't look like someone who hates her."

"She doesn't have to be object of my hate for it to be directed toward her."

"Do you have feelings for her?"

Another sigh escaped me. I was getting a headache with this line of questioning. It was bad enough I had it inside my own mind. I didn't need my mom's interrogation, too.

"She's a smart, beautiful woman," I said. "But she's also Ryan's sister, so anything I may or may not feel about her is irrelevant."

Something I should have reminded myself before I stuck my cock eight inches inside her.

"Hardly irrelevant." Mom picked her mug back up and tucked her ankles beneath her chair. She wasn't looking at me, she was staring out at the flowers lining the side of the yard. "I'm sure Ryan wants nothing more than the both of you to be happy, regardless of how that happens."

"Just drop it, Mom. I'm trying to reconcile these unwanted emotions with my friendship with him and this isn't helping."

"Yet you still fall into my traps." She turned her face toward me and smiled serenely.

"Great. Thanks." Keeping the annoyance out of my voice was harder than I thought I'd be. "Don't you dare do anything with the information you just weaseled out of me."

"Wouldn't dream of it, darling," she said breezily, standing up. "I always fancied Raven as a daughter-in-law." 

I gaped at her as she crossed the porch and disappeared back inside. The sliding door squeaked behind her as it bounced off the frame and stayed a few inches open.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

I should have excused myself the moment she walked outside, because there was no way in hell she wasn't going to take that information and run with it.





***





The idea of my mother knowing I had feelings for Raven was more than a little alarming to me. Given that her best friend was Raven's mom, the thing I hadn't meant to say was probably making its way around the Karras family right now. I hoped like hell it wasn't, because that meant Ryan would find out from someone other than me.

The entire situation was my fault. I knew that. If I'd only kept my selfish wants in check, none of this would be happening, and I wouldn't be worried that Mom would be spilling my secret.

The secret I barely understood myself. I couldn't wrap my head around the things I was feeling. It was so new and unexpected. This was supposed to be easy-one summer, a few days, only necessary interaction with Raven.

But, it hasn't worked out like that. We'd spent more time together than was necessary, and we still had to pair the cocktails with the meals. There were things that needed to happen, and I needed to not let these developing feelings get in the way of that.

First and foremost, we had a business relationship. That needed to be the primary focus here. The personal one was what it was.

We'd always been fucked up.

Now, we were maybe beyond that. All I could hope was that she didn't have the same dumb feelings I was developing for her. Then, we'd be able to move on.