Seconds. It took no more than a handful of seconds for my orgasm to hit, and it hit me hard. My entire body clenched and trembled. Sweat beaded on my skin. My lungs burned. And none of that mattered to him as he dug his fingers harder into my skin.
He groaned. The second it left his mouth, he slowed until he stilled. He held himself inside me for a good minute. The only sounds were both our breathing as we tried to regulate it, tried to get back to normal.
But I knew one thing.
We would never be normal again.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Parker
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I loosened my grip on Raven's hips, gently bringing my hands down to her fucking perfect ass. Slowly, I pulled my now semi-hard cock out of her wet pussy. She pushed herself up onto her elbows, and her whisper of "Shit," wasn't nearly quiet enough if she was trying to keep it from me.
It wasn't out of place, it just wasn't quiet enough.
I rolled the condom off and threw it into the trash. My entire body was tense, and not because I'd just come harder than I had in a long time, but because of this situation.
It was a good idea when she was coming in my mouth.
Now, with it all said and done, neither of us could have ever made a worse choice than this.
There was no longer a line. We'd crossed it. We'd spit on it and rubbed it out. We'd completely removed any trace of any kind of line with what we'd just done.
I backed away as Raven moved herself to standing. This was so fucking awkward, and it didn't get any less awkward as she grabbed a few tissues from the box on the other side of her desk and wiped between her legs.
Neither of us said a word until we were fully-clothed again. She grabbed a brush from a drawer and tugged it through her messy, dark hair, looking somewhere over my shoulder. "In the interest of not fueling any workplace gossip, you should probably leave out the back."
She was right, but... "You're not gonna talk about what just happened?"
She uncapped a lipstick and looked in the mirror. Ignoring me, she brushed the wand over her lips, leaving them parted to dry. She put on another coat, followed by some gloss, then rubbed her lips together.
"Raven."
"No!" She ran her fingers through her hair and finally looked at me properly. "Because I need to process what the hell we just did, try not to throw up with guilt, and do my job, okay? So, no. I'm not gonna talk about what happened right this second."
Yeah. The guilt. It was creeping into my bloodstream. It was vicious, and it was accompanied by the hint of self-loathing.
"I'm not working tomorrow," I said, stopping by the door.
She nodded. "I know. That's probably for the best."
Was it?
It didn't matter. She had her mind made up, and it would take an act of God to change it. She didn't want to talk about it right now, and maybe that was the best choice. I sure as fuck didn't know what to say to her.
I left and turned to the back without another word. Nothing I could say would make what we'd just done any better. It wouldn't change the fact that I didn't regret it, either. It would just worsen this already screwed up situation.
I leaned against the wall as soon as I stepped outside. Then, it really hit me. I'd just fucked Raven. I'd just bent her over a goddamn desk and had sex with her. She'd cried my name as I groaned hers. She'd come all over my cock as I had inside her.
I'd just done the one goddamn thing I shouldn't have.
I had no idea what would happen next.
But none of this would ever be the same again. That much was obvious.
***
I rested my feet on the table on the back porch. It was almost completely silent in the back yard at my parents' house, and I welcomed the peace. I hadn't had any peace from my own mind since I'd left Raven, and I was wholly to blame for that.
I'd been able to think of nothing but her. Of nothing but what we'd done and how it'd felt. Of how I should regret it, but I couldn't.
That was the worst part. I didn't regret it at all. I couldn't.
I'd wanted to fuck her. She'd wanted it, too, no matter what she said from this point on. It'd been mutual-more than mutual. She'd responded just as enthusiastically as I'd been, and there was no denying it.
It still didn't stop the guilt, and no matter what she said, we had to talk about it. She couldn't avoid me forever. Sooner or later, we ran the risk of telling Ryan what had happened. The risk of one of us slipping up was too great.
Plus, we needed to talk about work. No doubt it would be really awkward now. The key was not letting on to anyone else that something had happened.
Work.
Home.
Family.
Friends.
We were fucked. We'd fucked ourselves by fucking each other.
And the worst part? I didn't know how I felt about her now, but I sure as hell no longer hated her. I no longer just respected her, either.