Mixed Up(45)

Failing the do-over, I'd take a memory wipe. Maybe even a concussion. That lead to short-term memory loss, right? I needed to forget every second of the kiss or it totally stood to destroy my entire day. Shit, my morning had been a bust, because here I was...sitting in the middle of the cellar floor, surrounded by bottles and crates and cans and boxes.

I didn't want to do a damn thing with any of it. I wanted to leave it where it was on the floor. Except...I couldn't. It all needed putting back. The rest of my family were due to arrive throughout this week, and I'd had to order in their favorite drinks especially. There was more in the cellar than usual, which had ultimately prompted my clean up.

I needed to be able to control something. I couldn't control this situation with Parker. I couldn't control my feelings over it, either.

Or him.

I couldn't control my feelings for him.

I didn't understand them. They'd come out of nowhere, the complete opposite to everything I'd ever felt for him before. Instead of wanting to be on the other side of the world to him, I wanted to be closer to him. And now he'd kissed me, I wanted to be even closer.

I wanted to know what would happen if we weren't interrupted. If, in the unlikely situation he ever kissed me again, I had questions.

Would he go further?

Would he kiss me deeper? Harder? Longer?

Would he push me against a wall and slip his hand beneath my shirt?

Would he wrap my legs around his waist the way he said before?

I had no right to ask these questions. I had no right to even be thinking about it. I knew that. This situation was wrong. It felt like the ultimate betrayal of my brother to be thinking about his best friend in such a way.

If Ryan ever knew Parker had kissed me, I didn't know what would happen to their friendship. Sure, Ryan and I bickered, but he was still my big brother. He was still the guy who, even from across the country, tracked down complete strangers whose name he'd heard from Mom to tell them that if they fucked with me, he'd fuck them up.

It didn't matter who they were. It just mattered that they could hurt me.

The u-turn in mine and Parker's relationship would not be welcome.

That much I was entirely certain of.

But it wasn't really a u-turn. It was a fluke, a one-time occurrence, something that I would make sure would never happen again.

Because it was that simple.

Maybe if I kept reminding myself of that, I'd be swallowed by guilt to the point I'd forget what it felt like to have Parker's hands in my hair and his lips against mine.

Maybe.





***





"Raven!" Yia-Yia snapped her fingers in front of my face. "You concentrate."



       
         
       
        

I blinked, pulling myself back to the conversation. "Sorry. I didn't sleep much last night."

"Why?" Ryan eyed me from over his cup of coffee.

"Can a girl just not have a bad night's sleep?" My question was honest, but my voice was a little too on edge to make it believable that was the reason. "I'm here alone tonight and I want a nap."

"No nap!" Yia-Yia rapped her knuckles against the table and glared at me with her intimidatingly dark eyes. "You help."

I propped my head up on my hand. "Why don't we just put all the food out? If we cut out half the menu, someone is just gonna complain. Cleo will get annoyed if there's no tiganita, Demetri will cry if there's no bifteki, Aunt Helena will moan all night if there's no astakos, and god forbid if there isn't enough spanakopita for Lia to stuff her face with."

Ryan wrinkled his face up. "Lia's coming?"

Yia-Yia tapped the side of his head with her pen. "Né," she said. Yes. "Why she not?"

Lia was a bone of contention for my brother. She wasn't technically family as her mom had married our cousin when she was six, and for as long as we could remember, she'd had a crush on Ryan.

I grinned. "Surprise."

He shot me a withering look. If our grandmother wasn't present, he would have told me to go and fuck myself for sure.

"What?" I asked, dropping the smile and taking on my most innocent, wide-eyed look. "I love Lia. It's not my fault if she has a crush on you."

Yia-Yia shook her head and tapped her ring finger.

"She's married?" Ryan asked hopefully.

She shook her head again, scribbling on the paper.

Oh, good. She wanted to play charades.

"Engaged?" he tried again, a little less happy, but still quite brightly.

More head-shaking.

"Expected to be engaged?" was my guess.

Yia-Yia pointed a finger in my direction. "Né. He ask soon."

"She gonna say yes?" Ryan still looked hopeful.