Mister Wrong(9)

He hadn’t just spoken his vows—he’d meant them. That had been obvious from the way his eyes never left mine as he said them, and from the tone of his voice, strong and unwavering. I’d felt it when he slid on my ring, and I’d felt it when he kissed me for the first time as a married couple.

Damn, just thinking about that kiss was making me shift in place, the memory of it warming my heart at the same time it made something else heat up. Jacob had never really kissed me like he had today, and in front of hundreds of people no less. He kissed me like we’d been lovers in hundreds of lifetimes before this one, like he wouldn’t rest until he found me in a hundred more lifetimes in the future. He kissed me like I was everything he needed, and I was clinging to the hope that I was.

Jacob and I had never had an easy relationship; I’d always assumed that was what made it so real. We weren’t like the couples who acted like they’d never so much as fired a heated word at each other or doubted if they were with the right person. We’d never been the perfect couple, but we’d been an authentic one.

He had issues, I had issues, and we fought about our issues. Regularly.

When he’d asked me a year ago to marry him, I hadn’t been able to answer right away. It had taken me two solid weeks of consideration and contemplation to give him my answer. Lately, I’d been doubting that I’d given him the right one. After today, I knew with certainty I had.

All of those doubts and mistakes, I’d leave in the past. He’d messed up, but I wasn’t exactly innocent either. That wasn’t what mattered anymore. I wouldn’t focus on what was behind us but what was in front of us.

“You’re quiet.” I glanced at Jacob as we waited for our tickets to be taken. He still made my stomach drop when I looked at him, even though I’d been looking at him for two decades. The Adams brothers had made plenty of stomachs drop. A side effect of having a nice body and an even nicer face.

He handed the woman at the gate our tickets before roping his arm around me. “Sorry. There’s a lot going through my head right now.” That same heavy, burdened look cast over his face. It had made its appearance a lot today.

“Having second thoughts?” I lifted his left hand, tapping his wedding ring with my finger as we started down the breezeway to the plane.

“Second thoughts about marrying you? No way.” His head shook. “But second thoughts about you marrying me? Maybe.”

My forehead creased. I wasn’t used to this thoughtful, brooding side of Jacob. He was more a fan of hiding his feelings than laying them out for me to see. “What do you mean?”

His breath came out all at once, like his lungs were collapsing on themselves. “Why do you love me? After everything I’ve put you through, why me?”

I waited to see if he was being serious. This was an odd time to bring up this kind of thing—hours after the wedding.

My silence was met with more from him, so I finally answered. “Because you’re not the only one with faults. I’ve got mine too.” My eyes closed when I thought of my own—my biggest fault had been a part of me for so long, I wasn’t sure it was something I could ever move beyond. But I’d have to try, because we were married now and that changed everything. “And you and I, we’ve been through a lot together and you’ve always been there for me when it counted. When I needed you.”

“You know you deserve better, right?” Jacob took my hand as we boarded the plane, making our way toward our seats up front.

“I know I want you. That’s all that matters to me.”

My hand tightened around his as we wove down the aisle and I concentrated on keeping my breathing even. I’d never been a fan of flying. Secretly. I’d flown a handful of places, usually for work, and never made a big deal about it to whomever I was traveling with. I usually chased a couple of Benadryl with a stiff drink before I boarded, but I’d gotten totally distracted by my new husband and the way it had taken him half an hour to pick out just the right charm at the duty-free jewelry store to add to my new bracelet. He’d gone with an eternity symbol, which was all kinds of perfect given the promises we’d made to each other today.

Then we’d wasted another half hour in a little dessert shop, sampling one of everything they had on display. Which was, again, all kinds of perfect since Jacob didn’t usually like to indulge my sweet tooth. Something about wanting to keep me healthy, but I guessed it had also had something to do with wanting to keep me semi-thin. So usually I just satisfied my sweet cravings when I was alone and could take my time with whatever lovely confection I was in the mood for. Tonight’s out-of-character displays led me to wonder if he was trying to demonstrate that he loved me no matter what. Those vows he’d said in that strong voice of his rolled through my mind again.