Bianca: And from a personal standpoint?
Dex: Well, the guy is still my father. It’s not easy to be on bad terms with the person who helped give you life. We’ve been working on our relationship more over the past few years. He’s joined a church down in Florida—thinks he’s found Jesus. He also had a skin cancer scare. I think he’s starting to realize that life is too short to live it like a piece of shit.
Bianca: So, you are slowly learning to forgive him.
Dex: I’m trying, yes. It’s more about accepting the things I can’t change and moving forward. I can’t change the fact that he wasn’t a very good father to me as a kid. But he wants to be more involved in my adult life now, so that’s an opportunity I can choose to take or leave. I don’t want to have any regrets, and I know he won’t be around forever.
Bianca: I think the ability to forgive is an admirable trait.
He took a particularly long time to respond this time.
Dex: What do you consider worthy of forgiveness?
Bianca: What do you mean?
Dex: You said once that you don’t like liars. Would you forgive someone who lied to you?
Bianca: It depends on the reason for the lie.
Dex: Give me an example.
Bianca: If someone lies to protect another person, then I find that forgivable. Like my mother. She lied to me to protect me. My father was having affairs and she would make up stories to make him look good. In the end, it turned out his indiscretions were what ended their marriage. So, while I don’t condone lying, in the case of my mother, I’m able to forgive her because she lied to keep me from being hurt about what my father had done.
Once again, his response was delayed.
Dex: Are there any other situations in which you might forgive someone for lying?
I had to think about that. In general, there was really no excuse for lying, in my book. But I couldn’t say I hadn’t told some white ones in my life.
Bianca: I don’t know. I guess it would just have to depend on the individual scenario.
Dex: You don’t think it’s black and white. Fair enough.
Bianca: How has the spotlight once again turned on me?
Dex: I think we’re beyond the point where there are any rules in this process, Bianca.
Bianca: That’s true. Come to think of it, I’ve pretty much broken every journalism ethics rule during this entire experience.
Dex: I won’t tell anyone if you don’t. The published product will be the same in the end. We’ve just had more fun along the way than most people do.
Bianca: You’re right. It really hasn’t seemed like work at all.
Dex: I would even venture to say I’ll miss these 11PM chats when we’re finished.
“Miss” wasn’t the right term for how I felt about the interview process nearing an end. I’d become addicted to talking to Dex. Obsessed. It was as if my entire day revolved around just getting to eleven.
Bianca: I will, too.
We’d come to a break in the conversation. It was obvious that our interview had really run its course. I had so much information on this man that I didn’t know what to do with it; it couldn’t possibly all fit into a four-page article. There wasn’t really a need to continue communicating. But I found him fascinating and would continue our chats for as long as I could get away with. He didn’t need to know that I was virtually finished with the piece.
His next message threw me for a loop.
Dex: What happened to that guy you were dating?
That’s a good question. I didn’t know what had happened with Jay.
Bianca: We haven’t made plans in a while.
Dex: Why not?
Bianca: I think he’s been busy. We’ve been in touch but just haven’t nailed down any dates to go out.
Dex: You don’t sound too devastated.
Bianca: Honestly, between my trip and working on the feature, I haven’t had much time to dwell on it.
Dex: You’ve been too focused on me.
Bianca: You can look at it that way, yes.
Dex: I choose to. ;-)
Bianca: What about you? What’s your excuse? Why are you never cancelling on me? You must have a bevy of women waiting in the wings.
Dex: Not a bevy, but yes, I don’t have to beg for dates.
Bianca: You don’t say…
Dex: Want to know the truth, though?
Bianca: Always.
Dex: Lately, I haven’t wanted to talk to anyone but you.
I let his words sink in. A flash of heat permeated my body. How was it possible to be so taken with someone I had never even met? I really wanted to see him—more than I’d ever wanted anything. I impulsively typed.
Bianca: How about right now? I want to see you tonight.