“Of course. It’s another way to justify to TNG relocating my base to Portland.”
“Is being in Portland a long term thing?” I looked over his shoulder at a spot on the window.
“It could be. Lots of big money and foundations in the Northwest I could partner with or consult for. I’ll keep my place in Amsterdam, but since I’ll always travel for my work, home base can be anywhere. If you’re asking.”
“I wasn’t asking.”
“You were. That’s okay. I like your need to know about my plans, and hopefully that means you want me here.”
I walked over and stood between his legs, setting the bowl of popcorn on the table next to him. “I do want you, more than I’ll ever admit.”
His hands found their place on my hips, and he pulled me closer. “I’ll always return to you.” He kissed me. “Always.”
OUR TIME TO part again grew closer and a nugget of fear settled into my belly.
I tried to smother it, but the voice that worried and created undue anxiety didn’t respond to threats. Or Christmas cookies. Emotional eating only made my pants tighter. Kai would return in less than a month. In my bones and in my breath, I knew it. Yet the voice of doubt continued its soft whispering.
I shared my thoughts with Kai while we prepared dinner for Maggie and Gil. My energy level still hadn’t returned to normal, so instead of a holiday party, it would only be the four of us. Kai volunteered to cook after my failed attempt at boxed macaroni and cheese. Apparently, you needed to set a timer or the water would boil away, leaving a soggy, gelatinous mess.
Gil and Kai hung out in the kitchen, reveling in their bromance while Maggie and I sat on the couch and eavesdropped.
“I told Quinn we’d video chat tonight. He’s dying to show us Lizzy’s latest trick and outfit,” Maggie said.
“You know his ulterior motive is to get a gander at Kai, right?”
“Of course! He’s completely transparent.”
“He’s seen pictures. Isn’t that enough?”
“For Quinn? Never. He won’t be happy until he can flirt with him in person. They’ll be on Whidbey for their annual summer visit. You two should join us. You can meet Diane, John’s girlfriend. He’s completely smitten; it’s adorable.”
“Smitten lumberjack? That I would like to see.” Kai and I hadn’t planned months into the future. I had no idea where he’d be over summer. “I’d love to be there in July.”
“Well, we’ll put it on the calendar, and that way Kai can plan around it,” she assured me.
“That feels very domestic.”
“How so?”
“Having a shared calendar and making summer weekend plans in December.”
“Welcome to life as a couple. It takes work and coordination sometimes.”
“Ugh. The work word.” I scowled.
“You can complain, but I bet you wouldn’t give it up at this point.”
Deep male laughter carried from the kitchen.
“Never.” I smiled.
THE NIGHT BEFORE Kai left for Chicago and then Amsterdam, we exchanged gifts.
He loved the sculpture I bought for him in Aburi. He rubbed her curves with the same adoration he gave mine.
Finally, I was allowed to open the shipping box, which had arrived two days earlier from Amsterdam. Inside it sat the beautiful Ashanti comb he had purchased at auction.
I gaped while I gently lifted it from the tissue. “How?”
“I remembered how much you loved it. Your eyes lit up when I showed you the catalogue.”
My brow furrowed. “You bought it for me?”
“Don’t hate me, but no. I did buy it for my father. However, when I told him about you, how we met and that I wanted to give it to you for Christmas, he sent it the next day.”
Tears filled my eyes. “I can’t accept it.”
“Why not?” He frowned. “Don’t you like it?”
“It’s too much.”
“The money?”
I nodded, swiping my errant tears.
“Selah, I want you to have it as a tangible reminder of where we began. This brought us together. Think of all the elements and powers at work to make sure you ate airport sushi, chatted to Anita, agreed to meet some crazy man, went to an auction viewing—”
I cut him off with a kiss. “It’s impossibly implausible. The whole thing.”
“Yet here we are.” He kissed me and swept packing peanuts and tissue to the side, laying me down on the rug.
I made sure the sculpture was safely out of range as things became heated.
“I love you,” I whispered against his lips.
“Always.”
SIX MONTHS LATER…
“IS this outfit okay?” I asked, attempting to close the clasp of my necklace.
“For flying?” Kai’s fingers moved mine out of the way and smoothly attached the two ends.
“For what comes after flying.” I stared at him through the mirror. “Meeting Cibele. And Anita.”
“Again. You’ve already met Anita.”
“Not really. She was some random, pushy supermodel in JFK last year.”
“She’s still pushy.” Kai smiled lovingly at me through the mirror. “And you look perfect.”
I studied my black dress and wedge heels. The thick strand of beads added color, but it was kind of a somber look. “Do I look like I’m attending a funeral?”
“Not with that cleavage.” His eyes focused on my chest while his hands snuck around to touch my breasts.
“Is it obscene?”
His fingers squeezed me. “More than obscene.”
“Don’t start what we can’t finish. We don’t have time.”
He hissed. Or exhaled. I couldn’t tell.
“You look beautiful and appropriate. Stop worrying.”
Other than flying first class, our flight to Chicago was uneventful. Blessedly, Kai had enough money and mileage points for neither of us to ever fly coach again. I sipped my wine and looked out at the puffy spring storm clouds over the flat land of the Plains.
A humid cab ride later, we arrived at the Ritz where our room overlooked Navy Pier. I loved Chicago and couldn’t wait to visit the Art Institute the day after tomorrow. If I survived tomorrow.
Saturday was Cibele’s graduation from junior high school.
Kai wanted her to come to Portland for spring break, but I hadn’t been ready. I had plotted faking a relapse to get out of it. After confessing my planned deception, Kai took her to Mexico instead with the excuse sunshine and warmth were better than gray and cold in Oregon.
When I attempted to avoid this weekend, he’d put his foot down. That was how I found myself having a panic attack in Chicago. My present to the daughter I hadn’t even met laid on the desk. I sat on the bed and stared at it, willing it to have magical powers of instant approval and connection.
“What are you nervous about?” Kai sat next to me and laced his fingers with mine. “She’ll love the gift.”
“You think? It isn’t too old lady trying to be cool?”
“No, you’ll win major points.” He kissed my hair. “Ready?”
“No,” I sighed.
“It isn’t the firing squad.”
“Sure feels like it.”
“Based on your personal experience with firing squads?” He tugged me to my feet and kissed me resoundingly, thoroughly, and lovingly.
“Let’s stay in and have hotel sex.”
“We can do that later.” He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “You’re beautiful. Intelligent. Amazing. Mine.”
I nodded. “Remind me later?”
“I’ll do better than remind you. I’ll show you.” He slapped my ass.
“That stung.” I rubbed the warm spot.
“Good. Now, let’s go.”
We arrived first at the restaurant and sat along a banquette. Whenever someone entered, I glanced at the door.
“Stop staring and order something to drink,” Kai said.
I pretended to peer down at the menu, but kept one eye at the front of the restaurant.
Anita was impossible to miss. If anything, she looked taller and abundantly super-human beautiful, exceeding my memory of her. Her height blocked out the person following behind her until they reached our table.
“Hello!” she greeted us warmly.
Kai stood up to greet them, and I did the same. Or tried. My hip hit the table and caused my water glass to wobble and slosh liquid on the white tablecloth.
“Selah!” Anita hugged me, tightly, the way old friends do. I peeked around her arm. Kai hugged a slim teen girl, the tips of her hair a soft pink. “I’m so glad to see you again, especially under such happy circumstances.”
I mirrored her joyful expression, and then stepped away. Kai released Cibele and turned her to face me.
The moment of reckoning was upon me.
The look of love he gave her, and then me, as he introduced us melted my heart and my nerves.
Deep, sea blue eyes met mine, and a sweet, shy smile full of silvery braces greeted me. “Hi.”
“Hi.” I gave her a little wave. We smiled shyly at each other for a moment before Kai invited everyone to sit down. Cibele sat across from Kai and Anita opposite me. His hand rested on my leg, and entwined with mine, the contact calming me.
I assumed our evening would have been awkward with silence, and perhaps a few death glares from an angry teen.