Gentlemen callers
I phoned Nicky and Craig to say that we were back in business. I was going to come to the theatre, but Nicky told me to take the rest of the day off and go home.
‘You must still have concussion honey,’ she said. ‘Let us handle it and we’ll see you tomorrow.’
When I got back to the flat, Gran was hobbling round the kitchen dishing up some freshly made goulash.
‘Come and eat, my darlink,’ she said putting a big steaming bowl and some sliced bread on the table. I was suddenly starving, and wolfed down the bowl of goulash in minutes.
‘My foot is feeling better,’ she said watching me with amusement. ‘On Monday ve have the big unveiling!’
‘What?’ I asked with a full mouth.
‘Ve go to have my stitches out. Ve get to see my lovely new Sophia Loren toe,’ she said. I was finishing my second bowl of goulash, when the buzzer for the door went. Gran got up and hobbled over to the entry phone.
‘Natalie, there is a man outside!’ said Gran. ‘Do you know him? What should I do?’
I got up and joined her, peering at the tiny black and white screen.
‘Bloody hell. That’s Benjamin,’ I said. He was looking up at the camera and was dressed in jeans, and a t-shirt with a picture of Ghandi sitting cross-legged.
‘Shall I let him in?’ she asked, her finger poised on the button.
‘No, I’ll go to the door,’ I said.
‘Namaste, Natalie, I’m here to get my toothbrush,’ said Benjamin importantly when I opened the door. I ducked into the bathroom and came back with his toothbrush and the charger wound round it.
‘Here,’ I said thrusting it at him. Benjamin looked at it then at me.
‘And I need my key back,’ I said. He reached into his pocket and handed it over. We stood in silence for a moment.
‘Is that it Natalie?’ he said, surprised.
‘Were there replacement heads for the toothbrush too?’ I asked.
‘No. Is that all you can say after our relationship?’
‘Pretty much,’ I said, and went to close the door. He put his hand out and stopped it.
‘Laura’s pregnant,’ he said. ‘Twins.’
‘Congratulations,’ I said. ‘Just don’t put her in charge of mealtimes. All I’ve ever seen her eat is pickled onion crisps.’
I went to close the door, but he stopped it again.
‘We could try again, Nat? I think we fitted well together, we have similar interests, we want the same things…’
I stared at him in disbelief for a minute.
‘I am nothing like you Benjamin. You are going to be a father, which frightens me. God help your twins. You are a deeply selfish, boring, humourless individual who finds himself so bloody interesting. You seem to think that yoga is some kind of calling or religion. But you know what it is?’ I asked.
‘What?’ he said shocked.
‘It’s keep fit. It’s a fucking workout class. You think you’re the Dalai Lama, but in reality you’re a second-rate Rosemary Conley. And for all the tantric sex you practise, you never gave me an orgasm in all the time we were together! Oh, and FYI, that’s Ben Kingsley on your t-shirt. He played Ghandi.’
I slammed the door and went inside. Gran was in the kitchen still holding the video entry phone to her ear.
‘Wow Natalie. I didn’t think you had it in you,’ said Gran.
‘Gran, I just need a moment,’ I said. I went to the bathroom and I splashed cold water on my face. I looked at myself in the mirror. I had no make-up on, bags under my eyes and my hair was a fright. I really needed a cocktail. I went back into the kitchen and the door buzzer went again.
‘What does he want now?’ I said.
‘Natalie, it’s not Benjamin,’ said Gran. ‘Look!’ she said peering at the little screen. Jamie stood outside.
‘I don’t believe this,’ I said. He buzzed again. He didn’t look happy. ‘Okay, now we’re doing this, I’ve got some things I want to say to him too!’ I said.
‘Open the door! He’s leaving,’ said Gran pushing me in the direction of the front door. Jamie had turned to go, vanishing from the little black and white screen.
Jamie was near the gate when I opened my front door. He turned and came back towards me. I could see his eyes were red from crying.
‘I’m sorry Nat, the gate was open,’ he said. ‘Can I come in for a sec?’
‘Is this about Tuppence? She said some horrible things, and I didn’t know all her hair would come off when I pulled…’
‘It’s not about that,’ he said. The sky was grey and it had started to rain. I nodded and he followed me back inside. He slipped off his shoes and we went through to the kitchen where Gran was loading up a cocktail shaker with ice and vodka.